"When we are brave enough to pay attention to our hearts, our chaotic emotions can teach us how to be free—not from pain, but from the fear of pain and the obstacles it creates to live life to the fullest. ”
There will always be moments in life when you think everything is fine, and then all of a sudden, something happens that changes your life. Grief and loss strike out of nowhere and catch you off guard.
You know what, there are days when you start out as one person and end up being someone else.
But this isn't the first time you've experienced loss or trauma! Your childhood was full of pain and suffering, which resurfaced when the latest loss occurred.
You used to believe that you were a hapless person, and these old stories and beliefs are back. You think, "Maybe the world, God, really hates me." ”
This has happened many times, and I used to think I was an expert, especially since my job was to help others deal with trauma.
The first big blow came when I was 26 years old, when a police officer called me and told me that my father — a man who had a nightmare growing up — committed suicide.
Theoretically, my life would have been easier without him, but that triggered the pain of being abused by him in my childhood.
I didn't have the tools to deal with this pain at the time, so I numbed my feelings with alcohol, busyness, helping others, and chasing the unattainable.
But when another sadness came, I couldn't escape it: it was the man I loved who didn't choose me and didn't love me, and I lost my vision of the future.
The second grief seems to be on a smaller scale, and it's been almost a decade since I lost my father, but it seems to have had a bigger impact on me. My escape doesn't work anymore.
The pain became so unbearable that I didn't want to live. I felt hopeless and lost. I had to look for different tools because I wanted to move on with my life and find love. Running away from my emotions doesn't help me.
This kicked off my path to healing, which started with self-help books, podcasts, and resources like this blog. I wanted to understand why this relationship that never existed was so painful for me.
Slowly, I returned to the way I was treated when I lost my father and when he was alive.
I found mind-body healing** to help my body process everything I was experiencing.
I found other tools like mindfulness, emotional release techniques meditation, inner child work, journaling, and self-care practices.
When the gloom cleared, I saw the light again.
I found a wonderful, healthy woman to love me and we got married. All my dreams have come true.
Emotional Message:
In life, we often encounter sudden challenges and pains that catch us off guard and change our lives. However, it is in these difficult situations that we have the opportunity to reach out to the strength and courage of our hearts.
Whether facing childhood trauma or the latest loss, these experiences can be opportunities for us to grow and learn. We can choose to escape and become numb, or we can choose to face our inner pain bravely and find a path to healing and rebuilding.
Although struggle and pain are inevitable, by facing them bravely, seeking help, and using various healing tools, we can gradually regain inner peace and reconciliation. As the author says, every sadness and challenge in life is a new beginning, an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
Eventually, we can move on from pain and loss and embrace new possibilities and hope. As long as we open our hearts and listen to our inner voices, we can find our way forward and move towards a better, more fulfilling future.
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Author: Relationship Understanding, focusing on relationship topics such as emotion, love and marriage, and committed to sharing beneficial insights and values. I hope you and I know each other here, please follow me if you like!