February**Dynamic Incentive Plan People often talk to me, saying that it is difficult to see a man clearly. The person who used to be full of you may not be you in his eyes one day. The person who used to say that he would be good to you for a lifetime may start to be impatient with you and perfunctory to you one day.
Sweet moments have been experienced, so bad moments are especially prominent. Therefore, after separation, many people will sigh that they were unladylike when they met someone: "How could I have fallen in love with him in the first place?" ”
This has to be said in psychologyThe "halo effect".It refers to the fact that at the beginning of an intimate relationship, we will like each other because of their brilliance, and even add filters to each other because of this.
That's right"The authorities are confused, but the bystanders are clear".When you are in a relationship, you are often more emotional than rational, so it is not surprising that you are wrong to pay your sincerity.
If you want to avoid getting hurt as much as possible, you need to keep your eyes open and see the other person for what they really are. So how can you see a man clearly? In fact, it is not difficult, just look at these points.
1. Look at the relationship with your family
The relationship between a man and his family is often the most authentic. If he gets along well with his family and chats kindly, he won't be too bad for his future partner.
But if he has a bad relationship with his family and is always perfunctory and impatient, then you have to be cautious, if you are with him, he will probably do the same to you in the future. As the old saying goes, "Three years old is young, seven years old is old".
A good family will make a man responsible, and in the process of growing up, he will clearly know what to do and what not to do, and he will also show it with practical actions. Judging from the relationship between him and his family, you will also be able to get to know him more comprehensively.
2. When you quarrel, see if he can tolerate you
In intimate relationships, quarrels are inevitable, and the more intimate they are, the more likely they are to have conflicts. But the quarrel is not important, the important thing is what kind of attitude he has towards you and whether he can tolerate you when arguing.
It's not that there is a saying: "To truly recognize a person is not to see how good he is when he is good, but to see how bad he is when he is bad". So when you are arguing, you can know what kind of person he is by looking at his attitude towards you.
Some people seem to be polite on the surface, but behind the scenes they are a violent maniac. For example, I have seen a ** before, a man is polite to everyone, and he is a good person who loves his wife and family in the company, but when he comes home, he punches and kicks his wife whenever he doesn't like it, and he explodes foul language.
People who truly love you will not hurt you unscrupulously, even if they don't choose their words when they quarrel, but most men will admit their mistakes afterwards.
Maybe it will be shown in a different way, but as long as he truly loves you, he will definitely take the initiative to reconcile with you. If you encounter it, cherish it, and if the other party always hurts you, then you must also learn to stop losses in time.
3. After the incident, look at his attitude towards you
It is said that "only in adversity can we see the truth, and only in case of trouble can we know the warmth and coldness of people". It is only when you have experienced something that you can see a person's feelings for you completely.
Many people may get along well, but when something happens, you can see what he really is. Some people may just pat their butts and walk away.
For example, in a story I read on the Internet before, a girl and her boyfriend have been in love for several years, and the relationship is very stable, and the parents of both parties have made an appointment to meet and plan to talk about marriage. As a result, before the parents met, she tested her boyfriend on a whim.
Before, her company arranged a physical examination, and the results of the physical examination came out, and she had no problem, but I heard that a colleague found a tumor, although the later re-examination was benign, as long as a minor surgery was done, there was no problem. But when the colleague heard about it, he proposed to break up, and the colleague was sad for a long time.
So she wanted to see what her boyfriend's attitude was towards such a thing, so she told her boyfriend that she had a tumor in her brain and might not live long. Her boyfriend immediately said, "If there is a disease, we will treat it", and she was very glad at the time, feeling that she had really chosen the right person.
However, the reality is that it didn't take long for her boyfriend to find various reasons to distance herself from her, and there was no time for the parents to meet. Because of this incident, she completely recognized her boyfriend, so she took the initiative to find her boyfriend, told everything about her lack of tumors, and took the initiative to end the relationship.
Only after going through tribulation can we truly see a person. Even if some people choose to fly separately when disaster strikes, there are people who will face it with you, take care of your emotions, and give you plenty of security. If you meet such a person, it is really lucky, and you should cherish it. After all, people are selfish, but if the other party can put you in an important position, then he is worthy of your life.