"During the Chinese New Year, did your family quarrel? ”
A few days ago, this topic rushed to the hot search. The reason why it can stand out among various topics during the annual leave must have resonated with the majority of netizens.
Quarrel - it seems that it has become, going back to his hometown for the New Year, a must-have "hard dish".
I just finished reading a book called "The Temperament of the Chinese" and looked for the answer. Think about it first: why do you want to go back to your hometown for the Chinese New Year?
One is, for the sake of face; "Returning home" seems to be a long-cherished wish embedded in the bone marrow of Chinese. The book says: Chinese are a race with a strong acting instinct, and any slight stimulation will make any Chinese regard themselves as a character in the play. Position yourself according to the role and make dramatic moves.
Everything does not necessarily have to do with the actual situation, and the problem is never the facts, but always the form. If you say beautiful words at the right time and in the right way, the requirements of acting will be met.
Obviously, we need to play the role of a "successful person" here, even if it is a chicken feather behind the scenes, it must be glamorous on the surface, to show that I have not been in vain outside this year. But we don't have to go behind the scenes to peek at the truth, or we're going to ruin one good show after another.
The second is for the sake of etiquette；The book says: Etiquette is the expression of true kindness in a kind way. This definition may be based on a civilizational view that theoretically sees the happiness of each person as the happiness of all. In China, however, etiquette has a very different meaning. Etiquette is a ritual made up of a number of specialized terms and behaviors.
Maybe you don't want to go back to your hometown for the Chinese New Year, butFor the sake of etiquette, it is the kind of forced helplessness that makes outsiders praise the person concerned for being sensible and knowledgeable, out of a desire to show that he knows how to behave properly.
third, for filial piety; The book says: The concept of filial piety is mainly obedience to the wishes of parents, that is, to meet the various needs and desires of parents, which is an ancient concept in China. There are thousands of books that talk about children's responsibilities to their parents, but few mention the responsibilities of parents to their children.
The concept of filial piety is condensed and expressed in the worship of ancestors, and ancestor worship is the true religion of the Chinese nation. If we can correctly understand the true meaning of the ancestor worship system, we will understand that this system is one of the heaviest constraints that a people can carry.
The present generation is bound hand and leg by the generations of the past. For the dull conservatism of the Chinese, ancestor worship is the best form and guarantee.
Confucianism requires men to guard their parents, such as we often say that parents are not far away! Therefore, on this most important festival of the New Year, I must go back to my hometown to guard my parents. Of course, this forced his wife to do the same. (In modern society, women can also force men.) ）
If there is a conflict between the relationship between the husband and his parents and the relationship between the husband and his wife, then the latter relationship must be sacrificed, since the relationship between husband and wife is secondary, subordinate. Therefore, Chinese often say that "water does not fight the bridge", as long as there is a conflict between the younger generation and the senior, ** is almost one-sided condemnation of the next generation.
The entire structure of Chinese society is built according to the patriarchal model, and there are serious drawbacks in it. It suppresses some of the natural instincts in the minds of people, while other changes can be overdeveloped.
As a result, as long as the older ones survive, the younger generation is almost completely subordinate. The minds of these people, who are under the hard pressure of iron, are shackled, and beneficial change and development are hindered.
When you return to your hometown, when you are not well versed in the way of "reasonableness", the "face" is not enough, the "etiquette" is not comprehensive, and the "filial piety" is not ......obedient enoughEspecially for families with a large population, coupled with some trivial things, there will definitely be a social typhoon - quarrels!
When it comes to Chinese quarrels, the most common way should be "cursing the street". Westerners' curses are often low but deep, while Chinese insults are nothing but sound.
A strange feature of the common scolding style adopted by the Chinese is that they not only scold others for their actual shortcomings as a "good way", but also prefer to trace the person's most humble origins and count the wrongs of their ancestors.
Okay, that's all for it. Regarding the temperament of Chinese people who are thrifty, industrious, conservative, indifferent to time, indifferent to precision, and want to develop public spirit, please buy genuine books to read.
At this point, the book is disassembled! Thanks**
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