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Preface. In 1988, Zhang Youyi passed away.
Although she was snubbed by Xu Zhimo at the beginning of her life, she finally broke free from the shackles of reality, realized self-transformation, and became an outstanding woman who attracted much attention in the ** period.
The four words engraved on his tombstone, savored carefully, are actually a sharp mockery of Xu Zhimo.
What exactly are these four words? What kind of love and hate are entangled between her and Xu Zhimo?
01 ironic lettering.
In 1953, Zhang Youyi moved to Hong Kong and married the doctor Su Jizhi.
At that time, due to Hong Kong's policy requirements, Zhang Youyi could only send her grandchildren to the United States to reunite with their parents, while she stayed in Hong Kong to live.
But most of her savings were lost on investments, and in order to continue living in Hong Kong, she had to ask a friend to find a job for herself.
is to take care of the children for the divorced Dr. Su Jizhi, which is not a difficult thing for Zhang Youyi, who specializes in early childhood education.
In the face of the children who are in the rebellious stage, Zhang Youyi has a set of methods, and in less than a week, she disciplined the four children for Su Jizhi.
Su Jizhi was very grateful to this tutor, and moved his family downstairs to Zhang Youyi's house for the convenience of contact. It wasn't until this time that he knew that Zhang Youyi in front of him was the heroine of the "No. 1 divorce case in China"!
He admired Zhang Youyi's talent, and also admired her who was pregnant in a foreign country alone and was still studying in October.
Su Jizhi's admiration for Zhang Youyi became more and more obvious, but this frightened Zhang Youyi, although she received a Western education, Zhang Youyi still adhered to the tradition in terms of love and marriage.
The people around him knew that Su Jizhi admired Zhang Youyi and wanted to marry her, so they helped Zhang Youyi to recognize Su Jizhi.
But Zhang Youyi was "thin-skinned", and with the help of relatives and friends, she came to Tokyo under the pretext of visiting relatives.
never thought that Su Jizhi would also follow Zhang Youyi to Tokyo, which was the most surprising thing for her.
Seeing that Su Ji's feelings were deep, Zhang Youyi gradually dispelled her previous thoughts and moved her heart.
Both of them are over half a hundred years old, but they are like young people who have just fallen in love, carefully managing this precious relationship.
With the support of her family, Zhang Youyi successfully married Su Jizhi. The two also went on a sweet honeymoon trip to Tokyo, which their previous marriage never brought her.
In marriage, Zhang Youyi is still the wife who is both virtuous and considerate of her husband, and unlike before, she is no longer the old woman with the thinking of "binding small feet".
Zhang Youyi and Su Jizhi have a very good relationship, and in the nearly 20 years of marriage, the two have hardly had conflicts and quarrels.
After Su Jizhi's death in 1972, Zhang Youyi returned to her children and grandchildren and chose to settle in the United States.
In 1988, 89-year-old Zhang Youyi also came to the last journey of her life. The words "Su Zhang Youyi" are engraved on her tombstone, which indicates that she recognized her marriage to Su Jizhi.
The years that have gone hand in hand with Su Jizhi have brought her a lot of warmth, and Su Jizhi's love has brought her the pain caused by her last marriage.
And these four words are not a sarcasm for Xu Zhimo?
He left everything behind to pursue the new era, and hurt Zhang Youyi more than once in his marriage, comparing him with Su Jizhi is even more ironic.
02 "Old Society" and "New Era".
Zhang Youyi was born in a family of poets and scholars, and she originally lived a rich life, but she suffered a family accident when she was 7 years old.
The family's financial situation has deteriorated sharply, and she can only follow Mr. Private School to read some ancient books such as "The Book of Filial Piety" and "The Book of Rites".
Although Zhang Youyi did not wrap her little feet, her thoughts at that time were no different from those of a woman with small feet, and for her, it was a woman's lifelong mission to follow her husband's family and have children.
Under the guidance of her mother, Zhang Youyi understood that as long as it was about her life events, she must obey the arrangements of her father and brother.
So she happily accepted the marriage arranged for her by her brothers and married Xu Zhimo.
Traditional education also made her agree with the understanding of marriage in the Book of Rites, that is, "the wedding party will be the best of the two surnames, and the upper will be the temple, and the lower will be the successor." ”
So marriage for her is to start a family first, as long as she follows her mother's words, when she is a good wife who respects her in-laws and keeps her family gently, love will naturally appear by her side.
But reality gave Zhang Youyi a slap in the face, and when she greeted Xu Zhimo with a smile, Xu Zhimo put her hand away in disgust.
But Zhang Youyi only thought that this was Xu Zhimo's literati ambition, thinking that he had been studying abroad, and it was normal to disdain arranged marriages, and that it would be okay to slowly cultivate feelings in the future.
Just as Xu Zhimo was still hesitating about how to get rid of this arranged marriage, Zhang Youyi, who was just beginning to fall in love, had already begun to think of her happy married life.
For the upcoming wedding night, Zhang Youyi is both looking forward to and worrying, after her mother married her father, the life of the two was very sweet, so she also looked forward to her marriage being like her mother.
But the first time she met Xu Zhimo, she was unhappy...
On the night of the candles in the cave room, Xu Zhimo fell asleep beside Zhang Youyi's couch. thought that after a night, Xu Zhimo would talk to him a few more words and teach her to take care of the affairs of the Xu family, but Xu Zhimo was always indifferent.
No matter what Zhang Youyi did, she couldn't get into Xu Zhimo's eyes, and within a few weeks of the wedding, Xu Zhimo left home and went to Tianjin under the pretext of studying.
For Xu Zhimo, "arranged marriage" is a thing of the old society, and he has no way to accept all this after accepting new ideas, and he naturally can't have pity for this wife who is full of the atmosphere of the old society.
Zhang Youyi and Xu Zhimo's marriage became a complete one-man show......
After inflicting all kinds of pain on everyone who loves him, how can Xu Zhimo still create such a light and agile poem? When he was inspired, his wife didn't even know where he was. ”
Although Xu Zhimo's attitude towards himself was not friendly, Zhang Youyi always remembered the two words of advice her mother gave her before she got married:
After entering someone else's door, you must never say "no"; Regardless of whether the relationship between husband and wife is harmonious or not, you can't neglect your in-laws, and the minimum etiquette must be achieved.
So she treats her in-laws as her biological parents, and every day when she wakes up, she has to ask her in-laws if they sleep well and eat well, and wait for her in-laws' affairs to be done before Zhang Youyi will return to her room to do her own thing.
Before she got married, she was also a schoolgirl who laughed all the time, and she also loved literature like Xu Zhimo, even if she was alone at home, she would secretly find out her brothers' books and hide aside to read quietly.
But after getting married, she suffered from her husband's neglect, and Xu Zhimo, who went out to study, often sent letters home to inform his parents of his current situation, but he only did not mention his new wife Zhang Youyi.
She knew that she was too old and poor for Xu Zhimo, and she was willing to change all this, but Xu Zhimo never gave her patience, and she didn't even want to look at her with a straight eye.
Even with his eldest son Xu Jikai, Xu Zhimo has never had her in his heart, but has become more chic than before. Xu Zhimo even took the opportunity to submit an application to study overseas and left home.
Zhang Junmao, the second brother who cares about Xiaomei, felt very anxious after learning about these things.
He knew that the husband and wife had been separated for a long time, and the relationship would inevitably become weak, and he had to find a way for his sister's home, so he took the initiative to propose to send his sister abroad so that the husband and wife could get together.
After getting the permission of her in-laws, Zhang Youyi left her young son at home and stepped on the ferry to England alone.
But when she saw Xu Zhimo, all expectations were disappointed, and Xu Zhimo's face did not have any joy of reunion between husband and wife, but more disgust and disgust.
At this time, Xu Zhimo already had someone else in his heart, that is, one of the four talented women, Lin Huiyin.
After Zhang Youyi informed Xu Zhimo that she was pregnant, Xu Zhimo ordered Zhang Youyi to take the child away without thinking about it, and his indifferent words were like a sharp knife stabbing into Zhang Youyi's heart.
For Xu Zhimo, he hoped that Zhang Youyi would take the child out as soon as possible, and then divorce him and let himself go free.
He wants to fight against the old society, and he wants to be the first person in China to publicly divorce!
Fortunately, with the help of her second brother Zhang Junmai, she was brought to France, which made Zhang Youyi realize a new world.
Previously, she always understood love in a narrow sense as "responsibility", and it seemed that as long as she fulfilled her responsibilities, a family would be considered to have love.
At this time, Zhang Youyi understood that she didn't need to ask for love, and everything she needed should not be obtained by "asking".
It is better for a person to rely on others than on herself, she must go out of the house and into society.
03 Life must be fulfilled by yourself.
After divorcing Xu Zhimo, Zhang Youyi stayed in Germany and was admitted to the local Pestalozi Institute to study early childhood education, and began to accept new ideas and become a woman in the new era.
Xu Zhimo, who thought that he could catch up with Lin Huiyin after divorce, finally failed to confirm a relationship with him as he wished, and Lin Huiyin and Xu Zhimo gradually drifted apart.
In the three years in Germany, Zhang Youyi completely found herself, so she said to her niece that she was grateful to Xu Zhimo, otherwise she would never be able to find herself and learn to grow.
After returning to her homeland with her youngest son's ashes, Zhang Youyi immediately found a job teaching German at Soochow University.
Later, when the Shanghai Women's Commercial and Savings Bank was on the verge of collapse due to poor management, the employees of the bank took a fancy to her and hoped that she could become the company's vice president to save the entire bank.
Zhang Youyi, who also hoped to make a big career in Shanghai, quit her job at Soochow University and began to concentrate on the financial industry.
Within two years, she had turned the tide of a bank's collapse and made a name for herself in the financial industry.
In the days when she worked in the bank, Zhang Youyi was always the first to go to work and the last to get off work, and when she took care of the bank's affairs, she did not forget to continue to study the Chinese language that had been delayed before.
In addition, Zhang Youyi also founded the brand Yunshang with the help of her family.
As the first new clothing company in China, Yunshang Company innovated clothing fabrics and adopted a unique three-dimensional tailoring method, combining Chinese and Western styles, which was popular for a while.
Seeing that his ex-wife, who is completely independent and no longer only revolves around the family, Xu Zhimo's relationship with Zhang Youyi has eased, and whenever he returns to Shanghai, he will take the initiative to visit Zhang Youyi in Yunshang Clothing.
Zhang Youyi and Xu Zhimo gradually became friends, and their relationship was finally no longer as cramped and boring as it was at the beginning.
After Xu Zhimo's death, Zhang Youyi still took on the burden of taking care of the Xu family, including Xu Zhimo's widow Lu Xiaoman.
In the tide of the times, Zhang Youyi, a woman who was once at a loss, finally completed self-reinvention, became the existence that could become a glorious lintel, and finally found her own love.
She lived her years in silence and strength, and she did her duty, to her husband, to her husband's family, to her son—all who did their duty deserve respect. ”
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References. 1.Chinese business circles "Zhang Youyi's counterattack: life has always been fulfilled by yourself".
2.In the same boat, "Zhang Youyi: "I want to thank Xu Zhimo for the divorce".
3.Book House "Zhang Youyi: The Woman Who Loves Xu Zhimo the Most".