Child, when you were in junior high school, Mom remembered to go to Binhu to pick you up from school. Normally you will talk non-stop when you see your mother, but you were very silent that day.
Mom thinks you must have something on your mind, so she asks you tenderly, "Child, what's wrong?" There was silence for a long time behind the seat, and you finally spoke, "Mom, how can you make friends like sisters?" Why don't I have so many friends? ”
After listening to this long question, my mother felt that this question was too important! Mom has always believed that if people can figure out the three "questions of life" in this life, they can live a very transparent and happy life: 1How do you think about career and success? 2.How to deal with love and marriage? 3.How to make friends and socialize? It was precisely because she felt that this question was too important that her mother thought about it in her heart that day, thinking about how to answer it in a way that was not boring and could help you.
When the car was halfway through, my mother had an idea and thought that she could use a more vivid scene of events as a metaphor, "Child, you have read a lot of books from World War II, and you know that the Jews were killed horribly during World War II, right?" At that time of life and death, the Jews in Germany and the German-occupied territories could only survive if they quickly found a friend who could entrust their lives, and if they were wrong, they would be doomed.
This life-threatening but life-threatening decision for the whole family is there: Who is the real friend? True! My mother used the insights she had gained from her life experience over the years to think that she could divide the treatment that people take when they encounter such a request for help into four types, and these four kinds of people can vividly tell us "what kind of friends are worth making deeply".
The first type of person is a person who has valuable moral character and courage. In his heart he knows what is "yes" and what is "not". He understands that he should insist on "yes" in the great wrong, and he also has the courage to insist on "yes", so that he can ignore his own safety, insist on the beauty and goodness of human nature, cover you up for several years, and help you avoid disasters. This is the most worthy person to associate with, and such a person does not need you to stammer, and does not need you to spend time deliberately interacting with you, because he will treat you with "right and wrong". You are doing the right thing, you are a person of the same character, he will naturally be good to you and willing to help you, because they are the ones who have a position.
The second type of person is good by nature, but he still has the self-fulfilling and self-contained side of human nature. They may not hide you at home, but they feel that they have a deep friendship with you, and they have the most basic concept of good and evil and right and wrong as a human being, and they will secretly bring you food when they are not in danger of themselves and the whole family. But if it endangers their interests and safety, they may not do it again, but they will never betray you, because they have a good heart and have the most basic bottom line of being a human being. Such people are also worth associating, although not as good as the first kind of people.
The third type of people, they may be very polite to others, or unkind to others, but their hearts are indifferent and selfish, they do not know right and wrong, but they know more what is danger, what is interest, know that it is not their own business, hang high, live their own little life. There are often many such people, so what's the point of knowing more such people? This kind of person you spend time on him, the result is often the same.
The fourth type of person knows that if you betray you in that social situation, you can get more. In their eyes, interests are more important than character, and if there are interests, they can not have character. Child, for such people, you will definitely meet several in your life. For people who have no moral bottom line, never think that because of a deep friendship, he will not be cold to you. What can he do to others, and one day when his interests are touched, he will also be cold and selfish to you, such a person should try to stay away from anything. Because the closer you are to him, the more serious the consequences tend to be, and the more tragic the ending tends to be. The deepest damage to us often comes from the nearest place around us, and if you have this kind of person around you, it will be a cancer and a bomb that will explode at some point.
We always confuse friends with people we know and acquaintances. People can know a lot of people, treat anyone you know should be kind and caring, your kindness and care will bring them warmth, but also let yourself live in a warm state of mind, sometimes giving more than getting can bring inner peace and pleasure. But acquaintances are not the same as "friends", "friends" are the fusion of hearts and minds, and people who can be trusted with their lives.
The most precious thing in a person's life is not jewelry and money, but time and emotion. Life is short, and wasting precious time and emotions on people who don't deserve it is very unworthy. People often think that spending time with certain people on a daily basis will lead to deep friendships, but this is not the case. Although some people only have friendship at work, or a chance to help each other, or years of long-term support, but can form a firm respect and trust between each other, you do not intersect in the staggered cups and lamps at the dinner table, or every day tenderly and sweetly say friendship to each other, but the friendship of gentlemen is as light as water, but will respect character, see in danger, because of respect and trust and watch each other in fate to become close friends.
In the first half of my mother's past life, not all acquaintances gave my mother great help, often some people who were not familiar enough and didn't interact every day, but they helped my mother get through the difficulties, because they were the first or second type of people, because they liked you and respected you in their hearts.
Don't deliberately associate with people, because your heart will be very tired and you will lose the joy of interacting with people; Don't associate with people with interests, because no one will be a person who doesn't know how to know people at all, and a person who doesn't know how to know people at all is a person who has no wisdom in life, and should not be within the scope of deep friendship. People who don't know how to recognize the differences between people in their lives, and don't know how to put different people in their own circles, inside and outside, will definitely suffer in the length of their lives, but whether the loss is big enough, and more importantly, they waste precious time and waste their emotions.
You don't have to deliberately associate with people, but you have to become the first type of person, and at worst, the second type of person. If you are a person who is helpful to others, you must believe that others are not stupid, they will definitely feel that you are "worthy" to associate with you, and they will be willing to get close to you and trust you, and in this process, you will also identify friends and confidants through the nourishment of time and the fate of people.
The better you are, the more "worthy" you are, and the more you will accumulate valuable friends and wealth over the years, and there are no "abusive friends" and "scumbag friends", so as to have a high-quality circle of friends that belongs to you.
What my mother wants to say is that she must make herself her best friend, and spend more precious time on herself to improve herself. The deepest suffering of human beings is the word "loneliness", if you think that you can get rid of loneliness by interacting with others, and you can get rid of loneliness by having friends, it is not a good way to get rid of loneliness, and it is very likely that you will feel more lonely. Only when a person likes himself, loves to be with himself, loves all the good things, and enjoys them, can he truly get rid of loneliness, and not be controlled by loneliness all his life, nor be happy and sad about how others treat him.
It is important to remember that you are your best friend, and you will have a close friend who will never leave you throughout your life, and you will also be uplifted by inner self-control, and you will have joy and fulfillment in this life.