After the baptism of time, people's hearts are revealed. Some people may have a mediocre impression when they meet for the first time, but as time goes by, that sincere attitude gradually reveals itself and makes people willing to make friends deeply. And some people are flawless at first sight, seemingly innocent and harmless, but at critical moments, they can expose their selfish nature. We naturally prefer to get acquainted with the former, but in this complex world, can we see through people's hearts? This requires us to observe and experience carefully.
Minglan in "Do You Know" knows this very well. She thought she could gain insight into the world, but she looked away at Gu Tingye's sister-in-law, Shao Shi. Minglan is good friends with the Shaw family, which is well-known in the Gu family. Minglan has a good impression of the Shaw Brothers because of her comparison with the rest of the Gu family. In Minglan eyes, the Shao family is completely different from the Xiao Qin family. Xiao Qin's is kind on the surface, but his heart is full of greed, while Shao is a person who keeps to himself. She only hopes that her sick and weak husband can be ** as soon as possible, and that her daughter can live a stable life.
In the complex interpersonal relationship of the Gu family, Shaw's "indisputability" is particularly valuable. Therefore, Minglan naturally became close to the Shaw family. After Gu Tingye and Xiao Qin's family completely broke up and separated, Shao Brothers and Sister Xian chose to stand on Gu Tingye and Minglan's side, so they also lived together after the separation. Out of her affection and sympathy for the Shaw Brothers, Minglan took good care of the Shaw Brothers mother and daughter, and never let them lack any living needs. Even when Sister Xian was still in the filial piety period. Minglan did her best to make Sister Xian'er dress appropriately. You must know that in that era, many women and children who lost their husbands were often treated unfairly if they lived with their brothers' families. If Minglan really wants to trouble the Shaw family's mother and daughter, there is a good reason that people can't refute it. However, Minglan did not do this. Sister Xian herself sighed: The second aunt is really good to us. People say that it is rare to see a little girl with Dai Xiao who can be so delicate and elegant, obviously because the family is very attentive. If Shaw can be grateful to Minglan and treat each other sincerely, her life will naturally get better and better.
In a relationship, the efforts of only one party are not enough. Minglan has made sincere efforts to the relationship with the Shaw Brothers, but there are still many imbalances in the Shaw Brothers' hearts. When Minglan arranged for Sister Rong and Sister Xian to enter a good home school, she fully considered Sister Xian'er's conditions and proposed to let her and Sister Rong take a carriage to school together. Although Shaw Brothers was grateful for Minglan for her compassion, he still felt unwilling. She said: "My daughter can only suffer with me, and even to find a gentleman, I have to rely on the second room!" I don't know what will happen in the future. ”
However, she should feel fortunate that she can still get Minglan to care for her in the face of adversity. But she felt self-pity and estranged herself from Minglan . This estrangement gradually widened, and eventually led to the inability of Shaw Brothers and Minglan to treat each other sincerely. When Gu Tingye was leading the troops outside, Minglan was pregnant, and the situation was turbulent, Gu Tingwei, the son of the Xiao Qin clan, took the opportunity to break into the Hou Mansion in an attempt to disadvantage Minglan and his son. The situation was critical, but Minglan remained calm. She understood that Gu Tingwei's goal was herself and her children, and others could be safe as long as they remained calm. So, she sent someone to inform Sister Rong and the Shaw mother and daughter to stay in the house, and sent someone to protect them. As for her eldest son, Brother Tuan'er, Minglan arranged for a trustworthy grandmother to take care of him. Minglan hid the child in a hidden place. If everyone obeys the order and no one makes trouble, her arrangement should be foolproof. However, the problem is that Shaw has always lacked sincerity and trust in Minglan . After being instigated by the people around him, the Shao family bribed Minglan with his property and learned where Tuan Ge'er was hiding. Shao also took Sister Xian and Sister Rong (Sister Rong was brought together at Sister Xian'er's strong request) and hid elsewhere.
However, the people around the Shao Clan had already been bought by the Xiao Qin Clan. This person took advantage of the chaos to leak Brother Tuan'er's hiding place to his accomplices, causing Brother Tuan to be in extreme danger. Thanks to Sister Rong'er's courage and bravery, she fought desperately against the gangsters, delaying the time, waiting for the arrival of rescuers, otherwise Brother Tuan might have encountered an accident.
Brother Tuan'er was able to survive, on the one hand, because of his own good luck, and on the other hand, because of Sister Rong'er's hard work. However, Shaw's responsibility cannot be cleared. Although Minglan and Gu Tingye could not directly punish her because of Shaw's identity, Minglan began to dislike Shaw Clan because of the fact that Brother Tuan'er almost suffered a disaster. And Gu Tingye had no good impression of the Shaw family's mother and daughter, and this time he was even more ruthless. He disposed of the people who served around Shaw according to the size of his responsibility. Although Shaw Brothers was unwilling, he could only reap the consequences. As for Shaw Brothers' behavior, Minglan is also reflecting. She thought that if the Shaw Brothers had been afraid of themselves as much as they were afraid of Mrs. Tai before, then no matter how much Aunt Ren instigated them, the Shaw Brothers would not dare to rush to Brother Tuan'er's hideout. This is because villains are only afraid of power and do not respect virtue. The way spring breeze and rain come to rain doesn't work for everyone.
This reminds Minglan of a study mentioned earlier in the book: there are two kinds of people, one is people who think with their brains, and the other is people who think with their brains like Minglan . They will make rational judgments about things, know how to be grateful, and will not think that other people's concessions are a reason for them to gain an inch. And people who think with the cerebellum adhere to the way of thinking of primitive times. In their view, the world is a struggle for survival of the jungle, without gratitude and reverence. This is like people like Shaw Brothers, who make irrational choices because they are afraid of power, and end up reaping the consequences. We often meet a variety of people in our lives, and their values and codes of conduct affect our dealings with them. There is a kind of person who will show an attitude of obedience and dare not disobey those who are stronger than themselves; And for those who are weaker than themselves, they may be unscrupulous and even do something excessive. In "Ode to Joy", Fan Shengmei's parents are such people. They put their sons above all else, and their daughters at the bottom of the list. They will do whatever it takes to meet their son's demands, even if doing so hurts their daughter and even themselves. For the daughters who are at the bottom of the line, even if they know that their daughters face all kinds of difficulties in life, they will still choose to squeeze mercilessly.
Are we helpless in the face of such people? This is not the case. We must understand the art of getting along with others, and we should treat those who think with their brains and know how to be grateful; And for those who only think with the cerebellum and try to suppress us, we have to stick to the bottom line and take a clear stand. Just like Fan Shengmei's awakening in the play, she realized that her parents would not change because they saw her suffering, and if she wanted to live a better life, she could only cherish herself. So, she chose to make it clear to her parents that she would continue to provide for them, but would no longer meet their unreasonable and blind requests to help her brother. The consequence of this is that Fan Shengmei's whole person is much more relaxed, and she finally realizes that she is the god who can save herself.
Similarly, after Minglan in the original work of "Know" learned that Shaw Brothers belonged to people who thought with the cerebellum, she changed the way she got along with Shaw Brothers and established her own majesty, so that Shaw Brothers did not dare to think about anything wrong. When getting along with people, we should observe and think more, understand the personality and behavior patterns of the other person, and then choose the appropriate way to get along. We should not be malicious, but we should not be at the mercy of others. Only by understanding and correctly dealing with different people can we navigate our lives and protect our rights and interests.