Hugo said: "People are not born to drag chains, but to spread their wings." ”
When I was a child, I was influenced by my elders, and in my cognition, life is to study hard, get into a good university, then find a good job, marry a good family, have a baby, raise a baby, retire ......
As I grew up, I wondered: Why do I have to live my life in the same way that most people do?
We are born with different faces, and there is no need to live a life similar to others.
Rules are to restrain words and deeds, not to restrain habits
Two days ago, I brushed up on a **: a little girl in Chongqing followed her family to eat hot pot.
During the dinner, the family teased her that there was only a little oil in her oil dish and no other seasonings, "how can you eat hot pot like this."
Unexpectedly, the little girl retorted righteously: "Who stipulated that I must follow your model." ”
When I eat hot pot, I want to eat clear soup; Oil dish, I just want to eat pure. Who dares to say that I am not from Chongqing. ”
As a Sichuanese, I am a non-spicy and unhappy clan. But every time I eat with others, I will accommodate people who don't eat spicy food.
Non-spicy food, non-spicy people can eat it. But spicy food is difficult to swallow for people who don't eat spicy food.
It's like eating habits,Everyone's preferences and adaptability are different for everything.
The so-called rules are also people's habits according to conventions, which are to restrain people's words and deeds so as not to have a bad impact on others, but they do not require everyone to be consistent with their words and deeds and reluctantly change their habits.
Life is not a copy and paste, you should focus on yourself
Not long after I started working, someone introduced me to a blind date, and the other party was a middle school teacher.
The introducer said wildly, and finally gave me a sentence: "Doctors and teachers are the best match, and I have become several pairs of doctors and teachers." ”
I thought it was funny and thought, "Am I getting married, or am I marrying a profession?" ”
I'm sure you've heard a lot of similar phrases: "Everyone is like this", "This is our tradition", "You see xx is like this, xxx is like this", ......
It seems that what most people are doing is right, and we have to be like them.
However, we are all different from birth. Looks, family conditions, and upbringing are all different, so why do we need to live according to someone else's model?
Our lives should be based on ourselves, and what we like and are suitable for is king.
People are not born to drag chains, but to spread their wings
Lin Qingxuan said: "Who has ever seen someone raise a phoenix? Who can bind moonshine? A meteor has its own direction where it comes and goes, and I have my place. ”
A while ago, there was a popular joke on the Internet, where young people asked their parents: "What are the benefits of getting married?" ”
Most parents are still counting their children not in love, and when asked this question, they can't answer it.
A male friend of mine once said to us, "Don't bother with people who tell you every day how to live the right life." Most of these people are not doing well, and they can't change themselves, so they want to pull more people into the water, which is very bad. ”
I don't want to speculate on other people's thoughts with malice, and those who teach me to do this and that, I generally don't deny or refute them, but I don't blindly accept them.
There are some life lessons to learn from, but the main thing is that you like it and suit you.
Now that you've come to this world, whether it's stumbling or smoothing, you've come all the way here, don't let yourself go awkwardly.
Whitman wrote in "Song of the Road":
From then on, I no longer want to be happy, I am happy.When we were children, we didn't understand life and needed adults to lead us. As we grow up, we have the ability to think, and we have accumulated knowledge and experience, so we should take control of our own choices.I liked everything I met, everything was accepted, everything was lovely to me.
From this time on, I set myself free and unrestricted, I went where I wished, and I presided over myself completely and absolutely.
Gently, with an irresistible will, I liberate myself from the shackles that bind me.
This is the right we enjoy as an independent individual, to plan the life that we like and suit within a reasonable range, and to be responsible for ourselves.