What does it mean to "no monument will be erected for three years in a new grave"? Why can't a monument be erected in a new grave? What's the saying?
Ancient people believed that the soul still existed after death, and the grave was regarded as a resting place for the soul. Each act of worshipping an ancestor is seen as a way to communicate with the deceased. The importance of posthumous events in ancient societies led to the formation of many red tape and rules related to funerals.
In ancient times, there was a popular saying that "a new grave will not be erected for three years", which means that a new grave needs to wait three years before a tombstone can be erected. And there are also a series of particulars on how to erect the monument. What is the reason for this rule? What is the truth behind this?
Humans have a long history of building tombs to remember the deceased. As early as primitive societies, tombs were built to bury the deceased with their belongings. This custom marked the beginning of a burial culture.
The tomb is seen as a place of eternal rest for the deceased and a symbol of the soul. The development of burial culture reflects the progress of human ideology. In many cultures, it is believed that life lasts in the afterlife, so burying the deceased can bring peace to the other world.
The earliest form of burial was burial, which was originally very simple, with no coffins or bulging burial bags. The deceased are simply buried in the earth and then marked with branches or stones for future generations to worship.
However, primitive humans gradually discovered that the markings made of branches or stones were easily destroyed by nature and affected worship activities. This led to the evolution of burial methods.
As a result, raised "graves" have emerged. Nowadays, the so-called "grave" actually involves two different entities, the one that buries the deceased in the ground without forming a mound is called a "tomb", and the one that piles up a bulge of earth is called a "tomb".
With the creation of "graves", a new problem arises, that is, how to find the grave of the person to worship in a pile of grave bags. If the burial time is not long, it is relatively easy, but after wind and rain, it becomes difficult to find the grave accurately. As a result, tombstones marking graves were created, usually made of stone, with information about the deceased engraved on them, which could withstand the wind and rain and make it easier for future generations to worship.
No monument will be erected for three years"Regarding the provisions on the erection of the monument, there is a saying in ancient times, that is, the new tomb shall not be erected within three years, and the monument must be erected only after three years. The ancients had many reasons why they did this.
First of all, it is to observe filial piety, and the ancients had the tradition of keeping filial piety for three years after the death of their parents. During this period, you are not allowed to wear colorful clothes, participate in entertainment activities, and do not engage in marriage. It is necessary to wait until the three-year period expires before returning to normal. Why three years?
This is because it generally takes three years for babies to learn to walk on their own. During these three years, they have been dependent on their parents' careful care, and in order to appreciate their parents' nurturing grace, they need to keep filial piety for three years to show that they are "born as they are" and treat their parents as if they were still alive.
Within three years, no new graves can be grounded, let alone erected tombstones. Because once the tombstone is erected, it means that the parents have really passed away, and they can no longer realize "life as they are".
Another reason for not erecting a monument for three years is Feng Shui. In the Feng Shui concept of the ancients, the location of the grave of the ancestors is closely related to the fortune of the family. If the ancestors are buried in a place with good feng shui, the ancestors will bring good luck to the family and bless their descendants; Otherwise, it may lead to misfortune for the family.
After the burial of the new grave, it takes three years to review the feng shui of the cemetery. If the family members have a bad experience during these three years, it may mean that there is a problem with the location of the cemetery, and once the three-year period has expired, the grave needs to be relocated. However, if everything is going well, a tombstone can be erected to pay tribute to the deceased.
Whether it is filial piety or feng shui, this is actually the subjective belief of the ancients, but it is indeed of practical significance to not break ground and erect monuments for three years. When the burial in the cemetery was just completed, the ground was relatively soft, and if the stele was erected at this time, the stele might not be strong enough, and it might be tilted in case of wind and rain, which was disrespectful to the ancestors. After three years, the tomb has become quite strong, and there is no need to worry about the stone accidentally falling down.
There is also some attention to detail in the ceremony of erecting the monument. The tombstone is regarded as the gate of the house, so there are many details about the erection that need to be carefully considered. After the expiration of the three-year period, it is not suitable for any day to erect a monument, and it is generally chosen that Qingming Festival, the Winter Clothes Festival on the first day of October, or the death day of the deceased. These three days are auspicious days for the groundbreaking and relocation of graves, and in years with leap months, they are not suitable for grave relocation and erection of monuments.
The location of the tombstone is also crucial, and its centerline should coincide with the centerline of the coffin in the tomb. In the case of a joint burial of men and women, the center line of the male deceased should be followed.
When erecting the stele, pay special attention to the direction of the stele, and do not face the north. As the old saying goes, "The north wind blows the people." "In the belief of the ancients, the north is a cold place, because the back of the yang is not conducive to the accumulation of yang energy, and the tomb may gather yin energy, which will affect family fortune and wealth.
When choosing a tombstone, you should give preference to hard, durable, weather-resistant materials, and black or dark gray is recommended. When filling the soil, it is important to choose pure new soil and avoid mixing with filth such as feces to express reverence for the deceased.
Tombstones are usually engraved with the name and surname of the deceased and the corresponding modifiers, such as examination, concubine, xian, xian, etc. These words need to be used with caution, for example, "so first" means a deceased father and "so a second child" means a deceased mother. If the parents were in a prominent position during their lifetime, they can consider replacing the word "first" with "obvious", such as "so Xian Kao" and "so Xian Yan".
Not everyone is suitable for erection of a monument after their death, and there are several categories of people who are not allowed. First of all, people who died early or died early, in the traditional concept, such people cannot enter the ancestral grave, so it is not appropriate to set up tombstones. The second is people who die unexpectedly or commit suicide, and these individuals who die unnaturally are not suitable for erecting monuments. Finally, there are people who have no descendants, in ancient times, great importance was attached to family inheritance, and those who had no descendants could not enter the ancestral grave, and there were no descendants to worship, so there was no need to erect a monument.
In general, modern society is understandably no longer stuck to ancient customs. There may be some superstitious elements in the ancient precepts, and they cannot be fully believed.
Tombstones are built to remember the deceased, and funerals should not be just about form. As long as you maintain respect for your ancestors, you don't need to rigidly follow the rules of the past.