On the first day of the Lunar New Year, the elders were graved, and from the mighty team a few years ago, it became a few sporadic people.
When I was a child, I liked the New Year very much, there was New Year's money to take, there were new clothes to wear, and more importantly, I missed the relatives of the year will come back from other places, maybe many relatives themselves are not very impressed with him, but when the cold winter comes, when I see them, I feel that the New Year is coming, and the family is finally reunited. Whether they brought themselves clothes or food, the joy was incomparable.
Growing up and becoming a family, I don't like the New Year's Eve to celebrate the New Year, in addition to the so-called New Year's budget, there are a lot of people who are sophisticated, but in recent years, there have been earth-shaking changes, in previous years, my favorite is to go to the uncle and uncle's house, a big family is lively, but now, not lively at all, even go to the grave, it seems very monotonous.
Our big family is quite united, my grandfather has 3 sons, only the eldest grandfather died and did not start a family, and my family and the second grandfather's family are okay.
Of course, this so-called can is just a kind of inner search for balance.
My grandfather had 3 sons, and my father was the third, but he died, and he was the earliest. When I was 5 years old, my father left, and my mother remarried that year, and I lived with my grandparents.
The eldest uncle and the second uncle got married early, and they all gave birth to sons, so the pressure is not ordinary, but fortunately, they take good care of me, and it has been like this for so many years.
The second grandfather's family also has 3 sons, and his 3 sons are all very capable, in that rare days when bicycles are still rare, the two sons of the second grandfather already have a car, and they are very successful in doing business outside, and they can be said to be very stylish in the village, and the scenery is infinite.
Junhui, the youngest son of the second grandfather's family, has a good relationship with my father, and I still remember that in the cold winter of that year, it was Uncle Junhui who took his father to the county to see a doctor, and he also sent him home.
Of course, everyone knows about the condition, and they also know that there is no result, but Uncle Junhui still said that if you want to be treated, you can smash the pot and sell iron, and several brothers and sisters will pool money to treat it.
But her mother didn't choose this path, so she took her father home and waited for that day to come.
However, my father was in pain, and his stomach was getting bigger and bigger as the disease progressed.
It was the Chinese New Year, my eldest uncle and second uncle had gone out to work, and Uncle Junhui was at home, so in daily life, Uncle Junhui would come to see my father, sometimes he would send a little fruit, sometimes he would send a little meat, and even when the spring flowers were blooming, he would take my father to the fields for a walk.
It's just that my father hurts and has a big belly, so I can't help it.
At that time, the village doctor did not want to come to give my father an injection, first, because he felt that it was unnecessary, second, because he was worried that we would not be able to pay for the medical bills, and thirdly, and most importantly, because he was worried about infecting him.
My grandmother went, my grandfather went, and he was not touched.
It wasn't until later that my mother asked me to ask for it, and she said that I was a child, and people looked pitiful and might compromise in their hearts.
I went. As soon as I arrived at the clinic, I saw Uncle Junhui talking to the village doctor, "Go and see, he is really uncomfortable, you have the right to do good deeds, I will give you money to be afraid." ”
Uncle Junhui used to do business near the village clinic, so he was very familiar with him and had a good relationship.
It's better for him to come and invite?
And I happened to appear at the door at this time.
Uncle Junhui waved his hand at me and told me to go back, "Go back, let's go over and have a look right away." ”
The village doctor frowned, but he had no choice but to compromise.
It's just that later, my father still left, and when he left, Uncle Junhui and my uncle all went home and came back to preside over the funeral.
At the time of the burial, the three sons of the second grandfather's family were busy and kept working, and the second grandfather and my grandfather sat in the house without talking, and their expressions were very solemn.
My grandfather sighed, "Dajun is gone, what can I do." ”
The second grandfather comforted his grandfather, "Our eldest brother and our parents will take care of Dajun, don't worry; There is also Peng Peng, let's take care of it together in the future. ”
My father left, my mother remarried, and I lived with my grandparents.
Whether it's my uncle or someone else, I actually work outside the home all year round, and I don't come home much, but as long as I go home, they will come to see me.
During the Chinese New Year, Uncle Junhui would call me to go over to play, they have many children, and they are also very lively, the key is that they have a TV at home, and they can watch the Spring Festival Gala together.
I will sit in the quilt with a few brothers, watch the Spring Festival Gala together, the second grandfather will bring us a lot of peanuts and melon seeds, we eat and chat, if sleepy, I will go to sleep directly.
At four o'clock in the morning the next day, we called the fifth watch here, that is, to get up and eat, and then prepare to go to the grave of the elders, and after going to the grave, we can go to pay New Year's greetings.
This time of year is my favorite time, because all the people will gather at Uncle Junhui's house, and everyone will take the big and small baskets, and prepare to go to the grave.
It was dark, there were a lot of firecrackers in the village, and there were a lot of voices talking. This is the busiest time of the year in the village, and it doesn't matter if you recognize it or not, just say Happy New Year, the other party will reply to you Happy New Year, if the child says this, and even the other party will say, "Whose child is this, really sensible." ”
Prepare everything, we will go to the grave in groups, there are about 15 people, a big battle, we walk in the village, and the neighbors know that we are going to go to the grave as a whole family.
There are only three graveyards, one for my grandfather and grandmother, one for my grandfather, and one for my father.
But the three of them were in one piece of land, and my father was in another.
According to the rules, go to the grave of the elders first.
It was snowing heavily, the road was very slippery, I walked happily with a few brothers, and I accidentally fell, but whoever fell, several other people would laugh at him, and sometimes, when I was about to slip, my grandfather would pull me and prevent me from falling.
After the graves of the elders, my father was left.
At this time, it is usually the eldest uncle and the second uncle, who take me and a few others, and we are the same generation to go to my father's grave.
I didn't have a lot of paper money to prepare, but several other families did, so in the end, I had a lot of paper money for my father's grave.
Such days have lasted for many years, and sometimes it snows heavily, and we go together, and we don't feel that going to the grave is a sad thing, and we even feel that when we go together, we are telling the elders that their descendants are very united and harmonious.
Sometimes, I would run with a few older brothers of similar age to go to the grave outside the village, and my uncles would drive there, and my grandparents would ride bicycles or sit in the car.
At that time, whether it was running or cycling, the line was always big and crowded. At that time when the grave was visited, many people and families were in groups, but in our family, it was more obvious because there were so many people.
It's just that, gradually, my grandfather and second grandfather are not in good health, so we won't let them go, and the people of their generation will take our juniors to the grave.
The older generation is older, but Brother Wen Jian, the eldest of our generation, already has a son, and every year, Brother Wen Jian's son will follow us to the cemetery.
Brother Wen Jian's children are small, and he always asks who is in this grave, who is in that grave, why he doesn't put it together, and why he comes over every year.
I also asked my uncle this question when I was a child, but I didn't expect that many years later, I would also be asked by my juniors.
I said that this is our former family, and we are coming here now to tell them that it is the New Year, to come and see them, and we have not forgotten them.
Brother Wen Jian's children are young, and he will ask, "They have all passed away for many years, can you hear us?" ”
As long as they come, their hearts come, and someone remembers them. ”
In fact, these words have been passed down from generation to generation, and the previous generation has spoken the same words to the next generation.
Slowly, slowly, the days changed, and very quickly.
That year, my grandfather was gone, my second grandmother was gone, and the next year, the eldest son of the second grandfather, on a hot day, also left.
It was dog days, I suddenly received a ** from the uncle, saying that Uncle Zhiyuan (that is, the eldest son of the second grandfather) was gone, and asked me to hurry home, he was going to go to the field with Uncle Junhui to cremate Uncle Zhiyuan.
It turned out that Uncle Zhiyuan was working at the construction site, and he was fine at noon, drank beer, ate cold dishes, and just went to the house to sleep, but he didn't wake up.
When it was time to go to work, no one saw him come out, so he went to the rental house to take a look, only to find that the person had left, so he hurriedly called home, and the family knew.
There is a long way to go, there are many things, we divided into three batches, one group to "pick up" Uncle Zhiyuan back, one group to buy things at home, and one group to notify all relatives and friends.
Uncle Zhiyuan is also a hard life, his son is only a teenager, and his daughter-in-law is sick all the year round, but he didn't expect that the days would just come out, and the person would leave.
That funeral, similar to my impression, was done with the help of the family, and everyone worked together.
When my father died, I was still young, and everyone helped me bury my father, especially Uncle Junhui, and took me to the neighbors one by one Xie Xiao, telling the neighbors to take care of me in the future.
The past is vivid, and now this scene, I didn't expect it to appear again, of course, Uncle Zhiyuan's children are more than I was at that time.
When the New Year arrives, it is still a group of us who go to the grave, but this time it is different, there are many places to go, and there are many people to worship.
There are 5 places, each of which is also far away, in all directions, southeast, north, and west, and it takes a long time to run each time.
In the past, I would go to my father's place after going to the grave for my grandfather, and then I could go home directly, but now I can't, I have to run a few more places, and the road is very long.
In the past few years, everyone's development has been smooth and difficult, and sometimes we only see each other all year round. So normally, we talk as we go, talking about the changes this year, and talking about the plans for next year.
In the past few years, Uncle Junhui has had a lot of ups and downs.
In the past, he was the richest, and he had 3 cars in the family, so he was not magnificent, and every time he went to the grave, he also took the most things, including cannons and fireworks.
Now, he owes a lot of foreign debts, and he doesn't dare to go home for the New Year, and only at four or five o'clock in the morning on the first day of the new year, when he comes back from the field, he is waiting for us at the entrance of the village.
He owed a lot of money to the village and didn't dare to go home, so after going to the grave, he hurried to meet with his closest relatives in the village, talk, and then leave immediately, otherwise he wouldn't be able to leave.
I don't know how many years have passed since such a day.
Now, just after recovering a little, I can also walk around the village blatantly.
The days passed quickly, and I got married. Of the men of my generation, there are 3 who are married, 2 who are about to get married, and several who are studying or just starting to work.
This year is the thirtieth year of the Chinese New Year's Eve.
We didn't make an appointment to go to the grave together, but went separately.
The snow has melted for a long time, but there is still snow in the wheat fields, and as soon as the sun comes out, it melts and tramples under the feet, bringing up a thick layer of dirt.
I found out that my grandfather himself had burnt marks, they must have just been here.
I went to the graveyard of my grandfather and father again, and found that someone had already come, and it seemed that several people from my second grandfather's family had come earlier than us.
Uncle said that in this scene on the afternoon of the Chinese New Year's Eve, you can go to the grave by yourself, no need to call anyone, and on the first day of the new year, we will go to the grave together.
On the first day of the Lunar New Year, we waited, waiting for Uncle Junhui to hit **.
According to the past, he was the most anxious, and he got up at four or five o'clock.
It's just that I don't know why this year, it's almost seven o'clock and I haven't come yet.
In the end, the people finally converged, and I realized that there were only 3 people here.
On our side, there are also 3 people.
There was no huge procession, no big carts and small carts going back and forth in the fields, no chattering along the way, you chasing me, no chatting with each other, nothing, no one talking much along the way.
Uncle Junhui, there are still a lot of foreign debts, and although I can go back to the village for the New Year, I am under a lot of pressure.
Wen Jian, the big brother of our generation, had an accident this year and lost more than 200,000 yuan, and he was not in the mood at all.
In previous years, on Chinese New Year's Eve, their house was the most lively, and the young people of a village were all at our eldest brother's house.
It's just that this year, when I went to play with him on Chinese New Year's Eve, I saw that he had already slept, and I turned to leave.
Now go to the grave, 6 people, 6 baskets, step by step to the wheat field, to the cemetery, without speaking.
In the past, there were many people, talking and laughing, and I felt that going to the grave of the elders was also a feeling of a big family, but now, there is no more.
Graves, more and more, people, fewer and fewer.
The people who took us to the cemetery are now lying in the ground. The group of children back then are now bringing their children to the graves of their elders.
Of course, some children are not happy to come.
Sometimes I wonder if family affection will be broken in the next generation.
In fact, from my grandfather to my generation, it has been 4 generations, and with a hundred years of history, our big family has always been quite united.
I just don't know that the next generation still has emotions for such "distant" relatives.
When he came back from the cemetery, Uncle Junhui said to his uncle, "I forgot to give my uncle paper money last year, I forgot, I thought he was still alive, this year I brought a lot, and I also brought cigarettes and alcohol, I know that he likes to drink and smoke, this time I brought him all of them." ”
In fact, everyone is saying that burning paper money is superstition, but why do you keep doing it.
Perhaps this is a way for us to express our sorrows, to miss our elders.
A big family goes to the grave together, and it also tastes like the New Year.
Just hope, the cemetery, a little less, people, a little more. A little more.