Author: Burning daylilies.
I was born in a small county town, my parents were farmers, and although my family was not wealthy, my life was quite passable. I became the hope of my family, and I grew up happily under the care of my family.
But the good times didn't last long, and when I reached junior high school, I suddenly got a strange disease, and I didn't go to the big hospital in time**, and my ** began to become deformed and weak, and I could barely stand up. The sudden blow made me worse than dead, and I couldn't stand the strange eyes of others, so I had to drop out of school.
In the first few years, I was depressed and even tried to commit suicide, but fortunately I was comforted by my parents. Later, in the face of the unchangeable reality and the pressure of life, I could only accept my fate, and under the introduction of a friend, I found a job as a home customer service. Suffering from customer complaints and abuse every day, I feel that such a day is really unsuccessful.
After a few years of mixing, I gradually reached the age of talking about marriage in my 20s. So, I have another hope, I long to meet love and change my life through marriage. After all, I'm not bad looking, except for my legs, my figure is also good.
My first relationship was online dating, we chatted very happily, almost became friends who talked about everything, we also exchanged ** with each other, he also said that he liked me, I think my love is coming. He asked me to meet, and I was very uneasy, I was afraid that he would dislike my disability, but on second thought, it was useless to worry, and sooner or later he would come. But when I actually met, and saw the look of surprise on his face staring at my two somewhat deformed legs, I knew it was over.
The pain of falling out of love made me feel that life was worse than death again, but fortunately, a relative's sister woke me up: "People are alive, it is better to have love, and it is no big deal without love!" Everyone wants to live a good life, but why are you the one who lives a good life? What are you capable of? Your pretty face, your plump breasts, is your ability? If you get married, you don't want you to sell it, and you don't break the law, why don't you make good use of it? ”
Yes, it is said that there is no love without a reason, and there is no hate without a reason. I can make full use of my capital to make others fall in love with me and let love change my destiny. So, I pulled myself together again, and in order not to waste the best of my youth, I took the advice of that sister and started a blind date.
My parents didn't make a big deal about my blind date, but there were still people who came to talk to me almost every day, and I gradually found my confidence, and it seems that I am still a little attractive. So, after nearly a month of blind dates and selections, there are two more favorites, one is a young able-bodied person who works in the company, so let's call him Xiaoshuai for the time being, and the other is a small boss with a right-handed disability in his thirties who has a small processing factory, so call him a big guy for the time being.
Faced with these two people, I still don't know how to choose. Actually, I also guessed that Xiaoshuai was looking for a disabled woman like me because of poor family conditions. And the big guy is also because he has some money, so he has the confidence to find a young man like me. My parents and that sister gave me a lot of advice, but maybe because I had too little experience, I still preferred to be with Xiaoshuai, not only because he was young and handsome, which could satisfy my vanity, but also because he was an able-bodied person, so that I could not face the psychological anxiety of disability all day long.
So, I hid from my parents and often chatted with Xiaoshuai online, but I always felt that he seemed to be a little lukewarm, and I guess he was also hesitating to find a disabled person to live his life. Once, Xiaoshuai's matchmaker passed by my house, and I stopped her for a few chats, only to know that there were still a few able-bodied girls on a blind date with Xiaoshuai. I was a little anxious, I didn't want to miss the opportunity of Xiaoshuai, so I found a weekend time, and I asked Xiaoshuai to have dinner together.
I forgot what I ate, anyway, I'm afraid of meeting people, so I chose a small shop that was a little out of the way. I enthusiastically served him food and found a topic to chat with, and he just responded politely. I didn't think he hated me, so I thought about how to behave myself so that he liked me more. After all, my physical condition is also impossible to go out on dates often. After eating, I didn't have any good ideas, because I didn't want to go to the movies, go to the mall, and go to crowded places. He seemed to read my thoughts, and invited me to sit down at his place, and I didn't think much of it, so I went.
I was wearing a long skirt that covered my legs, and he helped me upstairs and walked a bit like we had too much to drink. After entering the house, although the house was simple, it was quite clean, which made me have a better impression of him. I was interested in the laptop on his bed, he opened it for me, and the desktop was full of dense ** files, and I couldn't read it, so he found a movie to watch, it was from Hong Kong, and I forgot the title. At first, it didn't look like anything, but slowly there were some intimate scenes of men and women, I was a little embarrassed, but seeing that he was watching seriously, I couldn't say anything.
Gradually, he put his arms around me, and I was startled, short of breath but didn't know what to do. When he saw that I was not responding, he leaned close to me and began to kiss my ear. I knew what he wanted to do, but I was hesitating. I plucked up the courage to ask him, did he like me? He nodded, and I looked him in the eye, still wondering what to do next, when he threw me down on the bed. Without much struggle, I gave him the most precious thing I had treasured for more than 20 years. The first time I didn't have any special memories except for some pain. In the process, I kept thinking, if I do this, can I keep him?