February** Dynamic Incentive Program
When I was a child, I went to relatives, it was an important program for the New Year, and my heart was always full of desire, and I went to my relatives' house with my parents, and I could see many new things that I had never seen, and I could meet many relatives and friends I didn't know, and I could feel different customs and local culture. Although some relatives don't know what kind of relatives they are, they don't know how to call others, and they don't even know what kind of kinship this title is, but the warm reception of the relatives' family and the affection of the elders like a family, I can feel that this relative and my family are very close, very close, and very good.
In the past, building houses in rural areas was not done by spending money to hire workers or outsourcing to others, but by building houses by themselves, and when there were not enough people, they asked relatives, friends, and neighbors for help. Building a house requires carpenters, stonemasons, bricklayers, and tomasons, which belong to technical work, and there are few people who will know how to craft in ten miles and eight villages, all of whom are introduced by relatives and friends and ask people to help. It also requires a large number of small workers to level the ground in advance, dig the foundation, and prepare the masonry, wood, tiles, lime, and cement. Don't get paid or expect anything in return to help the owner build a house. It can be said that every new house built is the hard work of the whole village, a test of family relations, and a great exchange of relatives' feelings. So, at that time, relatives were very close, and distant relatives were also very affectionate.
There is a family called "in-laws" because of marriage, which is a relative other than blood relations, but once the two families get married, there are many relatives, originally a family of relatives became in-laws, but all the families that have a blood relationship with our family, see the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law are called the in-laws, so that there are many "family relatives", "bend relatives", unfamiliar and not much contact with the "distant relatives", but when you need help, everyone can lean up, how many years, the rural that kind of human touch, that kind of kinship, Hometown affection is always the best memory and feeling in everyone's heart.
In the past, it was normal to stay at a relative's house for a few days due to transportation and economic constraints. When I was a child, I went to relatives with my mother and lived in Qinwei's house for several days. My father lost his parents when he was a child, and he lived in his uncle's and aunt's house for a long time, and sometimes even spent the Chinese New Year in other people's houses. For example, when I go to the village of my relative's house, or if there is a big temple fair and market around my relative's village, I will deliberately go to my cousin's house to have a look, have a meal, and exchange feelings. My father's cousin's family has many children, building a house, marrying a daughter-in-law, and often needs to borrow money, in the era when it is very difficult to earn money, and the interest on saving money is also a large income, my father always lends money to everyone urgently when someone asks for it, in my impression, my cousin's family basically borrows money every year, and some of the money is repaid by the descendants after the death of my father and cousin.
My cousin's descendants were also very good to my father, probably remembering his father's help when his family was in trouble, so when my family built a house, his family contributed the most, and the five brothers went into battle together, running more than ten miles every morning and evening to help, and paid the most hard work.
My mother's family was relatively poor, and she begged relatives for help since she was a child. After I became sensible, in order to learn the weaving and embroidery trades, I lived in her aunt's house for two years, and when my mother was very old, she often remembered this incident and told me many times. It's a pity that her aunt, uncle, cousin, and cousin-in-law all passed away before her, and the relationship between relatives gradually faded away. After my mother's health was not well, in order to satisfy my mother's longing and remembrance, I took my mother to her aunt's rural area. Because the age is too long, I don't know what the name of her aunt's descendants is, so I asked the villagers, and the relatives that my mother said are also called nicknames, and the young people don't know at all, but they know that her relatives' family has planted a ginkgo tree, and the villagers told us that the tree is still there, and the people under the tree are their family. found the door of the house and knocked on the door, there was a more embarrassing scene, people didn't know that there was such an old relative. After some explanation and a period of communication, I finally sorted out the reason and entered the door of my relative's house. In the process of pulling at the mother's relatives' house, I also found the relatives that my mother missed**, although the younger generations are no longer familiar with it, but when it comes to those old things and reminiscing about the old people, it is still a happy thing, and it also fulfills a wish of my mother, and my mother is happy for many days.
After living outside for a long time, many relatives in my hometown have not been in contact for many years, especially some generations in the neighborhood, after a few generations, no one cares about it anymore, and it is a lot of chaos, young people don't know the size of the generation, they don't know how to call people, so they can only humbly let people not pick on them. Once I went home, some of the older villagers still said from time to time, "Our two elders are relatives", which also fully reflects the Chinese peasants' understanding and importance of relatives.
When my parents were alive, they repeatedly taught me that no matter how mixed up or how long I left my hometown, I should never forget my relatives and not neglect my fellow villagers. "When you were a child, you had dinner at someone's house, and you lived in someone's house for 3 days," these parents' advice also affected their feelings towards relatives and villagers. After the mother is too old, she can't live at home by herself, so she takes turns to live at her brother and sister's house, and the number and opportunity to go back to her hometown is less, and the old house at home can only be left to be dilapidated and messy, but the villagers still remember to help take care of it, and some relatives often go to see it, and tell me, "The courtyard wall stone has fallen, and it has been re-helped to get it right." "The tile of the gatehouse has fallen, and I will replace it with a new one", "The village is running a house to confirm the right, and your old house has been reported, see who has time to come back and do it". A neighbor told me, "Come back when you have time, clean up the trees in the back of the house, it's higher than the eaves, and the wind is easy to damage the house." Some villagers asked my old mother if she could go home, when I could go back, "Don't forget to get sweet potatoes at home when you go home, it's all for you."
On the thirtieth day of the lunar month, every family is pasting Spring Festival couplets, and when I was a child, my partner called ** and told me, "I will go to your house in a while and help you paste the Spring Festival couplets on the door." After my mother was critically ill, when I returned to my hometown, the neighbors came to see it, although it was the Spring Festival, everyone was looking forward to auspiciousness, but many relatives and villagers also came to help regardless of taboos, which was touching and emotional. Hometown and relatives are always personal emotions, and villagers and hometown sounds are memories that cannot be forgotten in a lifetime.
As the number of births decreased, so did the number of traditional relatives, and some of the titles died. They are all only children, so there is no longer the title of aunt, uncle, two aunts, aunts and sisters, and even aunts and uncles, and the traditional kinship is becoming less and less, and there is no habit and form of going to relatives. The Chinese-style big family of one village, one surname and one family is also disappearing, and the uncle brothers, the brothers of the family, and the brothers of the five suits are also dead in name. With the increase of population mobility, relatives and friends of the same family tend to be scattered, the living distance is gradually widening, and the opportunities to meet are gradually decreasing.
With the acceleration of the pace of life, there is also a new tendency to visit the door, everyone is reluctant to visit more, unwilling to go to other people's homes, feel that it is inconvenient to go to other people's homes, is to cause trouble to others, there is something to go to the unit, to the wine table, to the public place, to chat with each other, the guest is simplified, the relatives are also simplified, to the home into the door, something to come to the door, each other to visit the door has also become the out-of-print rural life.
Visiting relatives, this beautiful tradition, this bridge of family affection, and this ritual that best reflects the characteristics of rural China, are gradually disappearing from the habits and consciousness of young people. Distances are getting farther and farther away, fewer and fewer contacts, and relatives are diluting traditional Chinese kinship, neglecting traditional Chinese family friendship, and damaging traditional Chinese culture. Thinking back to the feelings between my parents and even my predecessors, and feeling the warmth of my relatives when I was a child, I still sincerely longed for the friendship between relatives, villagers, and relatives in tradition, past, and history, and longed to see relatives, friends, and villagers in my hometown.