February** Dynamic Incentive Program
The child memorized English for half an hour, and threw the book aside in frustration, and this scene was seen by the mother next to him.
Mother: "Why don't you carry it?" ”Child: "Oh, it's annoying, I can't carry it." ”
Mother: "You've only been memorizing it for a little longer, so you said you can't memorize it, and you'll be able to memorize it after a while."
You're always like this, you don't have patience and don't work hard, you give up halfway, you can't do this well, you can't do that......”
The child covered his ears ......
When you communicate with your child, do you often feel helpless and helpless like this mother? Want to educate your child and help him correct his problems, but find that he can't listen at all? I want to care about my child, but I find that my child would rather keep his heart in his heart, or tell his good friends rather than say more to you? I want to say something heart-wrenching, but I find that the child is absent-minded and doesn't care about you?
It can be said that 90% of parents have a similar experience when it comes to communicating with their children: no matter what we say, our children always turn a deaf ear to our words; We nag, preach, criticize, and accuse, and the child not only does not want to listen, but also talks back, argues, resists, and loses his temper. When we suppressed our anger and calmed down to communicate with our children, they were silent. So, we said helplessly: "What a wrongdoer!" Could this be the legendary generation gap? ”
There are so many "ditches" in the world, and there is a good saying: "There are no disobedient children, only parents who can't speak." All kinds of conflicts with children are, in the final analysis, a problem of communication.
Today I will give you a method, only four steps, no matter what you say in the future, the child will be willing to listen, and will treat you as a friend who has nothing to talk about, and completely solve the communication problem with the child.
Step 1: Talk about the facts.
The main reason why people are angry when they talk about it is that people have become slaves to emotions. Emotions arise because needs are not met and are misunderstood.
Just like the example above, there may be various reasons why a child does not memorize English. Or maybe the article is too long, maybe there are too many new words, and you really encounter a problem that you can't solve by yourself. Parents not only do not understand the child's difficulties, but also self-righteously think that the child is lazy, criticism, accusation, the child feels pain, without a little help, can he still love learning in the future?
The right thing to do is to say the truth objectively, without any judgment from the supervisor. As in the above example, seeing that the child is no longer studying, the mother calmly said: "I see that you have stopped memorizing for half an hour, is there any problem?" Need help from your mom? "Full of care and support, it brings motivation and courage to the children to face difficulties.
Step 2: Say how you feel.
Mom knows that you are a very brave child, not afraid of difficulties, and loves to think. Mom may not be as good as you in this regard! If you don't memorize English, you must have encountered some difficulty, can you tell your mother?
What people are most afraid of is not being understood, while the mother understands the child, she also says the advantages of the child, which is called emotional labeling, the child is captured by the mother's love at once, ** and talk back and resist.
Step 3: Explain why.
Mom is worried about you when she sees your upset. Can you tell your mother, why didn't you memorize it?
At this time, the child's depressed mood suddenly found the object to confide in. Said to my mother: This text is too long, there are many new words in it, and we haven't learned it yet, so the teacher told us to preview it first, and it is best to memorize it ......As soon as the conversation box is opened, it is like a surging river, stretching endlessly.
Step 4: Make a request.
You have done a good job, you have not yet learned the text, you have insisted on memorizing it for half an hour, such a difficult thing, few people can do it, it is amazing, you really make your mother proud.
However, if you have difficulties that you can't solve on your own, you must learn to ask for help, so that you can solve the problem faster and better, and avoid wasting time and energy. Knowing how to ask for help is a kind of wisdom.
You are like today's article is too long, we can divide it into several small paragraphs, a paragraph by paragraph, not only the article is shorter, but also the new words in the small paragraphs are relatively few, so is it much easier? This is called splitting the target.
You are a child who is not afraid of difficulties, mom believes in you, rest for a while, you will definitely complete the task successfully, come on! Child!
I am convinced that if a mother communicates with her child in this way, the child will not only listen to her teachings with sincerity, but will also communicate with her heartfelt mother. Under the guidance of the mother, the child will grow into a brave, strong, fearless and loving child.
This way of communication is like a spring breeze and rain, nourishing children's hearts and leading them to a better future.