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People who are too sane and sober always seem to keep a delicate distance from the hazy fate of marriage.
Marriage often needs a passion and impulse as its romantic origin, and those who have seen everything too thoroughly often find it difficult to muster the determination to devote themselves to marriage regardless of the consequences because they can see through the subtle contradictions and challenges of life.
Being overly cautious in balancing emotions with reality makes it more difficult for them to leave room for acceptance of the unknowns and variables in their marriage than ordinary people.
There is a cousin who is in her thirties, but she maintains a celibate attitude to life, and neither chooses to enter into marriage nor set foot in the field of love.
The whole family is worried about this matter, and every time there is a holiday reunion, several blind dates must be carefully arranged for her.
Although she went to dinner with each other out of filial piety and understanding, the result was that she failed to find the person she liked.
This is not because she is overly critical, but because of her sobriety and insight.
With just one conversational encounter, she can get a rough grasp of the other person's personality traits and underlying motivations.
At the same time, those blind dates immediately realized when they faced her that she was by no means the kind of traditional woman who was easy to control and catered to everywhere.
Over the years, it is estimated that she has experienced no less than ten blind dates, more than seven or eight, but unfortunately she has never met a suitable partner.
Some of these people, like her, participate in blind dates more to comply with family expectations and do things perfunctorily;
Some people have the idea of finding a partner to live with, and it doesn't matter whether the relationship is compatible or not, they just want to be able to live together in peace and stability;
There are also people who don't think deeply about the purpose of participating in the blind date until the moment they meet.
In short, in this ensuing blind date drama, there has not yet been a person who is willing to be sincere
A person who makes an effort to pursue a relationship that is full of unknown possibilities.
She resolutely expressed: "I will never give in to myself and step into a marriage that lacks emotional foundation and has no financial security."
Challenges lie ahead – the pressure of car and house loans, the responsibility of educating children, the obligation to support parents, and the trivial expenses of daily life, each of which can be the last straw on the back of the marriage camel.
In my opinion, love and financial stability are indispensable, and the absence of either is not enough for me to compromise my happiness.
As people get older, they tend to have a more realistic perception of the emotional world.
The original simple liking and being liked gradually revealed the mutual needs and expectations behind it;
I slowly realized that on the scale of feelings, everyone is weighing the gains and losses in order to make the most advantageous choice.
From the beginning of acquaintance, both parties may have invisibly set a potential value scale for each other, evaluating whether the time, money, and energy invested in each other are worth it.
Every conversation, every gift exchange, every effort is carefully calculated and weighed deep down.
When they realize that their investment clearly exceeds the expected returns, the adult world learns to stop losses in time, withdraw decisively, and do not want to consume themselves needlessly.
This is because we are no longer at an age where we are looking for short-lived romance and are keen on blooming momentary flowers, but we are more eager for a tree that can harvest stable and long-lasting fruits.
In this state of extreme sobriety, it becomes particularly difficult to enter a relationship, whether it is love or marriage.
While a relationship may only be an emotional fit, marriage encompasses more practical considerations: whether it is suitable, whether it lasts, and whether it is stable in life.
An overly rational analysis of these factors may give the impression that marriage is a commitment.
It is not as attractive as expected, but a little more scruples and hesitations under calm scrutiny.
When a person has a deep insight into the many challenges and difficulties hidden behind marriage, it is difficult for him to regain his determination to move forward bravely for love.
After all, in human nature, the pursuit of advantages and the avoidance of disadvantages always dominate, and few people will choose to firmly embark on this unknown road when they clearly foresee risks, just like knowing that there is a tiger ahead, but still choose to face danger head-on.
There is a philosophical quote that struck me:
The essence of marriage must be some kind of impulse, which happens in the warm blessings of relatives and friends, in the hustle and bustle of this world, and in every moment when dopamine brings passion;
Only in this moment of blood boiling, will I feel that everything in the world adds color to the beauty of this moment.
However, once you calm down, rationally spread out the ledger of life, and analyze each item, the ring that symbolizes eternal promise may not easily slip into the ring of the finger. "
This kind of understanding will make people naturally associate from the point to the face, from personal experience to the general life situation
Gradually see all kinds of people around you. At this stage, people may be more and more inclined to the tranquility of solitude, because that means that they don't need to get involved in complicated relationships, they just need to be responsible for themselves and be true to themselves.
Of course, it is extremely beautiful to meet that soul-compatible partner and spend your life together, but if fate has not come, maintaining a sober and rational attitude towards life is also a free and cool choice.
One can also live a full life and have enough strength to face all the challenges of life.
Don't make do, don't compromise, don't compromise (in-depth beauty).
Click on the attention and cheer for the love.