"Filial piety comes first, the first of all kinds. "Filial piety is the standard of a person's moral quality, and it is also the cornerstone of harmonious and orderly relations in the family.
For thousands of years, filial piety has become one of the outstanding traditional virtues of the Chinese nation, an important element of the outstanding traditional Chinese culture, and the cornerstone of Confucian ethical theory. "Mencius" recorded the words and deeds of Kuang Zhang, a famous general of Qi State, and expounded what is filial piety and what is not filial piety through the analysis and evaluation of Kuang Zhang's deeds, further deepening the connotation of Confucian filial piety.
It is often said that "filial piety is fundamental", if you want to gain a foothold in society and become a respected gentleman, you must understand the importance of "filial piety". As Mencius said, "Man's conscience and conscience are innate, and in childhood, no one does not know to love his parents; Growing up, there is no one who does not know to respect their brothers. ”
Mencius once said that the "filial piety" of "loving one's relatives" essentially stems from the "good ability" of animals to feed their instincts. This instinctive sense of filial piety and behavior is the source of the spirit of human filial piety.
With the advent of writing, the word "filial piety" was gradually endowed with rich symbolic meanings.
During the Warring States period, Kuang Zhang was a fierce general who participated in five important battles, four of which were victorious and one of which were defeated, demonstrating his military prowess.
He made great achievements for the Qi country, but his life was burdened with the name of unfilial piety.
Those who are lazy, addicted to gambling and drinking, greedy for money and profit, indulgent in their desires that affect their parents, and those who love to fight and put their parents in danger are not filial.
The five types of people were regarded as unfilial by the society at that time because they did not consider the grace of their parents' nurturing. However, Mencius argues that Kuang Zhang does not meet these five behaviors, and that it is only the blame between father and son that damages the relationship between them.
Kuang Zhang's mother, Qi, angered his father, who killed her in a fit of rage and buried her under the stables.
In order to give his deceased mother a better resting place, Kuang Zhang wanted to change his mother's cemetery, but because of this, he had a dispute with his father, which made his father dissatisfied with him. Since then, the relationship between father and son has become estranged, and his father does not accept Kuang Zhang's care.
In order to alleviate the guilt of his father, Kuang Zhang decided to drive his wife and children out of the house and not accept the support of his children for life. Later, King Qi Wei sent Kuang Zhang's son Zhang Zi to crusade against Qin, and promised to bury Kuang Zhang's mother again if he succeeded.
However, despite Kuang Zhang's strong wishes, his father did not agree to his request to rebury his mother during his lifetime.
Kuang Zhang believed that changing his mother's burial place without permission was a deception to his deceased father, and he politely rejected King Qi Wei's kindness. In the predicament of the state of Qi, Kuang Zhang was faced with a dilemma: on the one hand, he could not change his mother's burial place against his deceased father's wishes, because this would make him unable to fulfill his responsibilities as a son of man; On the other hand, his relationship with his father became strained and even broken because of this.
As a result, he bore the notoriety of unfilial piety in the process.
Mencius sympathized with Kuang Zhang's plight because he believed that it was Kuang Zhang's parents' fault for blaming him for doing good deeds but not really caring for him. Therefore, Mencius did not care about the eyes of the world and insisted on maintaining a good relationship with Kuang Zhang.
In a conversation with Gongduzi, Mencius put forward the behavior of "filial piety" and further the behavior of "father and son are responsible". He believes that "being responsible" is the right way for friends to get along, and if a friend's behavior is lacking, he should be reminded in a kind way and be honest with each other.
Although Mencius did not explicitly mention that "father and son are responsible for goodness" is unfilial, this is precisely the source of the notoriety of unfilial piety that he did not explicitly point out. Although this behavior is shallower than "**filial piety", it stems from deep love and filial piety for the father, and the purpose is to keep the father away from the unrighteous place.
Mencius believed that even parents are human beings and can make mistakes and may behave incorrectly. Mencius went one step further on this by suggesting that we should communicate wisely with our parents and try to guide them back to the right path if their words and actions were not in line with propriety.
Confucius once said, "Shun is the most filial man, and at the age of fifty he began to respect his parents even more." When parents make a big mistake, we must not complain or admonish, otherwise the relationship will become estranged, which is a sign of unfilial piety; Even if our parents make small mistakes, we should not complain or dislike them, and we can't bear a little grievance, which is also unfilial.
Therefore, Mencius believed that as children, we should treat our parents' mistakes according to the situation: First, if our parents make small mistakes, we should be tolerant and forgiving, and not complain or have emotions.
Chen Daqi believes that there is a problem with the way Kuang Zhang's father and son are responsible, and although it cannot be regarded as unfilial piety, Kuang Zhang's father is indeed at fault. Kuang Zhang therefore communicated with his father in a responsible way, but offended his father because of this.
In order to make up for his mistakes, Kuang Zhang sent his wife and children away and no longer raised them for life.
Mencius to"Observe their knowledge and mourn their feelings"Although Kuang Zhang did not explicitly accuse him of unfilial behavior, he showed forgiveness and understanding for him, which coincided with Mr. Liang Tao's view.
Liang Tao believes that Kuang Zhang's reproach to his father is actually out of respect for his mother's life, which is in line with the basic proposition of Confucianism and should be affirmed.
Mencius attached great importance to maintaining the human relationship between father and son, and he thought it was inappropriate for Kuang Zhang to take responsibility for kindness and hurt the feelings between father and son. Mencius emphasized the importance of the affection between father and son, believing that this emotion is more important than all things, and that the relationship between father and son is the cornerstone of the construction of family order.
When there was a conflict between the law and human affection, Mencius advocated the priority of maintaining family affection, believing that filial piety to one's parents was more important than anything else. Mencius put forward the view that "respecting the old and loving the young, everyone will share, and the world will be peaceful", hoping to achieve the goal of great governance in the world by spreading the concept of filial piety.
The Tao of Confucius and Mencius attaches great importance to education, and filial piety is the moral code that can best enlighten the people. As gentlemen, we need to have "filial piety" and "benevolence", and integrate this moral demeanor into our daily actions to influence and educate all people.
Therefore, we should practice filial piety, care for our loved ones in the right way, and treat them with sincerity.
After his father's death, Kuang Zhang insisted on not changing the place where his mother was buried, which was his deep emotional expression and sincere respect for his father. We should be based on "sincerity" and respect and honor our parents.
Mencius once said, "If you want to be filial to your parents, you must first ask yourself whether you treat them with sincerity." ”
In the midst of his predicament, Shun has always maintained his loyalty and admiration for his parents, despite his parents' repeated attempts to harm him. He treats his parents with sincerity and always reflects on whether his behavior has fulfilled his filial piety, and this sincere attitude and respect for his parents are the source of motivation for him to adhere to filial piety.
True filial piety is not only to express gratitude to your parents with words and actions, but also to let your parents feel your sincerity and love. While"Nourishment", is another embodiment of filial piety.
Mencius took Zengzi's raising of Zeng Hui and Zeng Yuan's raising of Zengzi as examples, emphasizing the difference between "raising the mind" and "cultivating the body". Through comparison, Mencius emphasized the difference between "nourishing the mouth and body" and "nourishing the will".
Therefore, while practicing filial piety, we should pay attention to "raising aspirations" to express gratitude and love for our parents.
The embodiment of filial piety is not only to meet the material needs of parents, but also to pay attention to their inner feelings. It is necessary to respect the wishes of parents, take care of their interests and hobbies, and satisfy their emotions.
To be "not responsible" with parents is the greatest respect and respect for them. Therefore, the key to filial piety lies in "raising aspirations", which is the real filial piety.
Kuang Zhang hurt the relationship between the two by blaming his father excessively, and was spurned by everyone for being unfilial. Mencius therefore put forward the concept of filial piety that "father and son should not be overly blamed".
There is a saying in the Book of Rites: "Parents have had it, and it is advisable to be happy and soft." "When dealing with the mistakes of our parents, we should be kind and pleasant, and give advice in a gentle voice.
Mencius once said, "True filial piety is lifelong respect and love for one's parents." I saw this in Dashun. (Mencius, Wanzhang I).
Shun always upheld filial piety to his parents, and even though their attitude was not kind, he kept smiling and did his best to meet their needs in order to win their favor.
Even at the age of fifty, his heart was still full of longing for his parents. As a holy king, when faced with the dilemma of morality and family affection, he chose "the son is hidden for the father", which is a noble virtue and a deep respect and love for his parents.
Shun's filial piety, showing the image of great filial piety, is admired by Mencius, the foundation of the country, lies in the family, and the family in today's rapid development, the material living standard continues to improve, the society has also undergone profound changes, the family gradually to the direction of miniaturization.
In contemporary society, under the influence of bad ideas such as money worship, hedonism, and personal extremism, Mencius's emphasis on filial piety is often challenged, and behaviors that violate conscience, such as "gnawing at the elderly", gambling failures, and abuse of the elderly, also occur from time to time.
In the new era, how can we better practice filial piety? Mencius once proposed some principles of filial piety, from which we can learn from. First of all, we must not only have material filial piety, but also spiritual filial piety, that is, not only "the body of the adoptive parents", but also the "heart of the adoptive parents".
Secondly, we must avoid being a person of "filial piety", that is, not honoring parents, not respecting the elderly, not listening to parents, not caring about the lives of parents, and not worrying about parents.
Only in this way can we truly be filial and make our parents feel happy and respected.
Children should treat their parents with sincerity, respect their parents from the bottom of their hearts, avoid blaming them, strive to maintain a deep affection between family members, promote family harmony, and realize the family ideals in Mencius, the Book of Rites, the Internal Rules, and the Warring States Policy.