Xiaoling and I are the same age, when we were in elementary school, we went to morning self-study together in the early morning wind, and in the afternoon we went home from school against the backdrop of the sunset.
When I was in junior high school, I went to school in other towns, and she stayed in the village next door to us to go to junior high school. The study tasks are heavy, and there is no time to get together to talk and have fun, and slowly, we drift apart from each other's lives.
I heard her news again, it was about her marriage - Xiaoling was divorced.
Family of four.
Xiaoling was born in a family of four, there is an elder brother, her brother is four years older than her, and she has been married and had children for many years, the two children are mainly taken by Xiaoling's parents, and the brother and sister-in-law work in the county, and usually go home every one or two weekends to see the elderly and children.
Xiaoling's parents did not separate from her brother, and the whole family was still in the same courtyard. Her parents stayed in the countryside and planted a few acres of thin fields, and when Xiaoling's father was not working, he went to several gatherings in our township to sell some stationery.
My mother sometimes followed the large army of women in the village to help with the vegetable shed in the town, and it was not a problem to earn dozens of yuan every day.
Xiaoling's affairs, I heard from my mother, are all chattering between Xiaoling's mother and my mother when they were working.
Xiaoling is married.
Xiaoling was not admitted to high school and dropped out of school after graduating from junior high school. At that time, she was only fourteen years old, young, and her family was not worried that she would go too far, so they found a photo studio in our town, and followed the owner of the photo studio to learn makeup, panning, and wedding photography and shooting. A year or two later, not wanting to be trapped in the countryside, she followed a few older sisters nearby to go out to work.
Xiaoling is 20 years old, she is already a big girl, with big eyes, a big face, not tall, not a lean type, and a little fleshy. She likes to wear heavy makeup, paint black and red, the color is heavy, and the little tiger teeth are still there when she laughs, I think of her appearance when she was a child, compared to the present, it always makes me a little distracted.
She was about 21 years old when she got married, married to a young man from the village next door to us, and the two were probably junior high school classmates, with this ignorant and familiar relationship, and the marriage was quickly decided.
Three years after marriage, he gave birth to two children, a boy and a girl, and both children and daughters. Today, her eldest son should be 12 years old, and her youngest daughter is 10 years old.
Xiaoling is divorced.
Xiaoling works in Kaifeng and is still engaged in the industry she is familiar with, giving makeup to others, pan hair, wedding photos and makeup. Xiaoling's husband has an uncertain job and does odd jobs in the city. The reasons for the divorce can be summarized as: the man does not want to make progress, does not do his job, ignores the family and the children, and sometimes asks Xiaoling for living expenses.
The life of three delays after marriage made Xiaoling extremely tired and unbearable, so she divorced.
Xiaoling ended her marriage with her husband, and the two children had the father's surname, and the in-laws would not be willing to raise the children to be taken away by her, so there was not much struggle, and she deserved to lose custody of her two children.
In rural areas, such women without custody abound, and after the divorce of the couple, the children return to the husband's family, which seems to be the default custom. Or, with a slight exception: if it is a daughter, a woman can still fight for custody, but if it is a son, few women can fight for custody of the son.
There is another exception: if a woman is widowed and her in-laws cannot afford to support her, she can take her children with her.
The in-law's house is already her ex-husband's house, and it is impossible for Xiaoling to live in the past again.
Go back to your parents' home
Let's go back to my parents' house, after all, that's where I grew up.
When Xiaoling just returned to her parents' house for a few days, her sister-in-law still had a little smile, and after a long time, her sister-in-law had already begun to point fingers at Sang and scold Huai, sneering, and Xiaoling's mother was caught in the middle.
On one side is his own daughter, divorced and with nowhere to go. On one side are their sons and daughters-in-law, they think that the current home is their home, and the water spilled by the girl who marries out is difficult to collect when the water is over, and the truth that no girl has spilled it out, and then take it back, once they get married, they are not the people of their own family, and the available resources are limited, and now there is an outsider to share.
In the countryside, girls always seem to be an overlooked character, and when she was a child, Xiaoling had a separate room, or perhaps more accurately, a utility room and bedroom, in which farm tools, plastic sheeting for drying grain, fertilizer bags, and sometimes some corn or wheat were stacked all year round.
After the marriage, this room was completely reduced to a utility room, and later, it became a nephew's bedroom.
At her mother's house, Xiaoling was like a temporary guest, sleeping on a small bed made temporarily outside her parents' bedroom, restrained, restrained and insignificant.
Rent a house. Xiaoling's mother quickly spread the news of Xiaoling's divorce among neighbors and relatives, so that others knew that it was nothing else, and she just hoped that someone would introduce Xiaoling to a marriage partner and marry Xiaoling as soon as possible.
Xiaoling felt ashamed and didn't want to go on a blind date, Xiaoling's mother scolded: Look at our family, you can't live in it, you always rely on the house, can it be a child's thing? In a few years, when your nephews are married, where are you going?
Xiaoling was angry, rented a house outside, and took advantage of the child's weekend to pick up the child to stay for two days to contact the relationship.
Family wars
During the Chinese New Year last year, Xiaoling took her two children back to her parents' house for a few days, hoping to reunite with her children, and secondly, hoping to enjoy the warmth of home. Xiaoling was worried that her sister-in-law would speak coldly, so she bought a lot of snacks and toys for her nephews, and also bought gifts for her brother and sister-in-law, and gifts for her parents.
The family war broke out on the night of the thirtieth day of the Chinese New Year's Eve.
There is a saying: "The fire of the thirtieth year of the Chinese New Year's Eve, the lamp of the fifteenth day of the first month." "It is said that the married girl cannot see the fire of the Chinese New Year's Eve and the lamp of the fifteenth year of the mother's family, and if she sees the mother's family, she will not be rich and prosperous in the coming year. The custom requires a woman to stay at her husband's house after the Chinese New Year's Eve of marriage.
Of course, if you believe in this kind of thing, if you don't believe it, you don't have it, and I haven't seen Xiaoling's sister-in-law believe in the gods, but on this day this year, she believes it.
Xiaoling's sister-in-law pointed at Xiaoling and Xiaoling's parents and scolded: Do you have money to burn bags, I don't know how many catties and taels I have?
Do you think that Xiaoling and her brother earn too much money, and they have to marry their daughter to eat and drink at home?
Do you feel that you don't have enough children with your surname, and you have to get used to children with other surnames at home, not only to eat and drink, but also to give New Year's money?
That's not all, Xiaoling's sister-in-law overturned a table of dishes prepared by Xiaoling's mother and Xiaoling for an afternoon, and it was a mess.
Crackling silently
Xiao Ling's father trembled angrily, and he was helpless, he was old, and his family was no longer the era when he was the master of the house.
Xiaoling's mother cried patronizingly, consciously losing reason, ashamed of her son's family, she regretted a little: a good year, let the three daughters stir up the yellow, or should not let go of her mouth and let her take the child back, the child has no grandparents?No dad?
Brother Xiao Ling was dumb.
Xiaoling looked at this family, looked at the once familiar home, and cried and cried without tears.
I went back to the house to pack my things, pulled the kids, and left.
No one chased it out.
A divorced man still has a home to go back to, and a woman's home is in **?
Her mother's family no longer has a place of her own, and from then on she only has a place to live, and no longer has a home.
Where to go
When she went to the street, she found that the lights were brilliant, the sky was noisy, the firecrackers were crackling, and the fireworks were so dazzling and beautiful in the sky, and the excitement was someone else's, and it had nothing to do with her.
Pulling two children who are already ignorant and stupid, should she go**?
Send the child back to her in-law's house, she will be alone for the New Year.
With children, she can only go to the rental house for the New Year, or does she go on a trip? But the interest has long since ceased to be gone.
In the joyful sound of the night of the Chinese New Year's Eve, families are celebrating the Spring Festival between the staggered planning, there is no shuttle bus coming and going in the town, how did Xiaoling go, Xiaoling's mother does not know, Xiaoling has stopped picking up her **.
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