The most comfortable relationship is that you don't have to please.
Have you ever had the experience of constantly giving, forbearing, and compromising in order to make others happy, only to be met with the indifference, ruthlessness, and even betrayal of others? Have you ever felt that in order to meet the expectations of others, you dare not be yourself, dare not speak the truth, dare not have your own opinions, but find yourself more and more confused, more and more depressed, and more and more unhappy? Have you ever wondered why some people always want to please others, but can't get their sincerity?
Pleasing others is a common way of interpersonal communication, and it is also an unhealthy psychological state. People who please others are usually insecure and eager for the approval and attention of others, or because they have been influenced by their family of origin and are accustomed to caring for the feelings of others and ignoring their own feelings. They believe that it is only by pleasing others that they can gain their affection and respect, maintain a harmonious relationship, and avoid rejection and isolation.
Pleasing others will not bring them the results they want, but will make them lose themselves, fall into endless giving and grievances, and will be despised and used by others, and ultimately hurt themselves. People who please others often do not know their own value and meaning, their own needs and feelings, their own preferences and interests, their own strengths and strengths, and their dreams and goals. They only know how to cater to others, to please others, to satisfy others, and to sacrifice themselves. They didn't dare to say no, they didn't dare to refuse, they didn't dare to resist, they didn't dare to fight. They can only endure, they can only swallow their anger, they can only survive secretly, and they can only live in the shadow of others.
Let's take a look at the tragic story of a people-pleasing personality from the famous Japanese animated film Spirited Away. The protagonist of this story is a girl named Matsuko, who is a typical people-pleasing personality who has lived her life to please others without getting any happiness or joy. Matsuko has been neglected and neglected by her parents since she was a child, she has never been loved and affirmed by her parents, she can only try to win the attention and appreciation of her parents by studying hard, being well-behaved and obedient, and helping with housework. However, her parents did not care about her feelings and thoughts, but only used her as a tool and an accessory to arrange her life and future at will. Songzi has no will and choice of her own, so she can only obey her parents' arrangement, move to a strange city, go to a strange school, and face a strange environment.
In the new school, Matsuko did not make any friends, she was ridiculed and bullied by her classmates, she was ignored and snubbed by her teachers, and she was oppressed and exploited by the principals. Matsuko has no voice or position of her own, and can only try to gain the acceptance of her classmates and the respect of her teachers by working hard, obeying orders, and following the rules. However, her classmates don't really like her, they just use her as a laughing stock and a toy, playing tricks on her, cheating on her, and hurting her at will. Her teachers didn't really respect her either, they just treated her like a slave and a machine, directing her, using her, and squeezing her at will. Songzi has no rights and dignity of its own, it can only endure, can only endure, can only endure humiliation, and can only live under the control of others.
Throughout the story, Matsuko doesn't live for herself once, doesn't say it for herself, doesn't do it for herself, she lives for others all the time, says it for others, and does it for others. She has been pleasing others but has not received any reward and gratitude, she has been giving but has not received any feedback and satisfaction, she has been sacrificing but has not received any praise and recognition. Her whole life was empty and miserable, her whole life was meaningless and worthless, her whole life was hopeless and helpless. Her last sentence was "I am sorry to be a human being", which expresses her helplessness and sorrow, and also makes us feel the sadness and pity of pleasing others.
Dear readers, have you ever had the same experience and feelings as pine nuts? Have you ever had the same doubts and confusions as pine nuts? Have you also thought about ending and regretting like pine nuts? If you have, then I want to tell you that you don't have to go on like this anymore, you don't have to lose yourself anymore to please others, you don't have to sacrifice yourself for the happiness of others anymore, you don't have to change yourself for the expectations of others anymore, you don't have to suppress yourself for the evaluation of others anymore. You can be yourself, you can love yourself, you can please yourself, you can live your own way, you can live your own color, you can live your own wonderful.
So, how do you be yourself? I would like to give you some advice that I hope will help you. Be yourself, including the following:
Don't sacrifice yourself for the feelings of others, learn to say no and protect your rights and dignity. You have the right to refuse unreasonable demands, unfair treatment, unhealthy relationships, unsuitable circumstances, things that do not conform to your values. You don't need to go against your heart in order to please others, you don't need to change yourself in order to please others, you don't need to change yourself in order to please others, you stick to your principles and values, do what you love, and show your personality and style. You have the right to choose those things that are in line with your interests, suitable for your abilities, conducive to your growth, and make you feel happy. You don't need to give up your dreams in order to cater to others, you don't need to hide your talents in order to fit in with others, and you don't need to erase your colors in order to fit in with others. You can do what you want, you can say what you want, you can wear what you want, you can love what you want, you can be yourself.
Don't lose yourself in order to cater to others, have your own ideas and judgments, don't blindly follow, don't follow the crowd, and dare to express your own opinions and positions. You have the right to think about the issues that concern your life, affect your future, touch your soul, and inspire your wisdom. You don't need to give up your reason in order to conform to others, you don't need to deny your sensibilities in order to agree with others, you don't need to suppress your emotions in order to harmonize others. You can ask what you want to ask, you can learn what you want to learn, you can know what you want to know, you can believe what you want to believe, you can think about yourself.
Don't neglect yourself in order to satisfy others, pay attention to your own needs and feelings, give yourself enough care and affirmation, and be your own source of happiness. You have the right to enjoy the things that make you relaxed, make you comfortable, make you healthy, make you beautiful, and make you interesting. You don't need to waste yourself to save others, you don't need to hurt yourself at the expense of others, you don't need to forget yourself in order to be responsible for others. You can eat what you want, you can play what you want, you can sleep what you want, you can laugh what you want, and you can love yourself.
Being yourself can make you more confident and free, free from the constraints and influences of others, and live your own wonderful and unique life. Being yourself can make you happier and happier, no longer bothered and depressed by the evaluation and expectations of others, and enjoy your life and choices. Being yourself allows you to grow and progress more, stop being stagnant and conformist, and dare to try new things and challenge yourself. Being yourself can make you more respected and loved, no longer despised and used by others, and attract more people who really understand you and cherish you.
Dear readers, have you understood the importance and necessity of being yourself? Are you ready to do your own methods and steps? Have you decided on a goal and direction to be yourself? If you have done a good job, then I want to bless you, live happily and transparently, firmly grasp the future in your own hands, and face all kinds of tests in the world with a smile. If you are wonderful, God has arranged it. The most comfortable relationship is not to please, to be yourself, to love yourself, to please yourself. May you be yourself, may you be happy, may you be happy!