A person's greatest wisdom does not lie in how much knowledge he has, but in whether he understands human nature. In Zhuangzi's view, the highest state of wisdom is to understand the laws of nature, and to fully understand human nature, that is, "human nature".
The reason why people suffer is mostly due to ignorance of human nature, for example, some people in society are popular no matter how they go, while some people run into walls everywhere, and no one can get along well, then the biggest difference between these two kinds of people is definitely not the gap in IQ, popular people are often because they can see through human nature and understand human nature, and unpopular people often do things contrary to human nature.
If someone doesn't like you, remember these 4 sentences of Zhuangzi and you winAlthough human nature is complex, but there is a certain commonality, Zhuangzi once used 4 sentences to summarize the laws of human nature hidden in the process of interpersonal communication, these 4 sentences are: love is pro, benefit is to, reputation is persuaded, to its evil is scattered.
Love is pro", although it is only a short four words, but it breaks through the most important foundation for maintaining interpersonal relationships, that is: people's need for emotion. The psychological world of a child is the most real, he will observe the people around him, whoever loves him, he will be close to whom, whose face looks serious and indifferent, he will not hide his resistance.
In fact, the same is true for adults, because everyone longs for love, and this love includes not only love, but also friendship, benevolence, and all emotions that carry kindness and warmth.
Therefore, the first principle of interpersonal communication is "love is close, if you don't love it, you are sparse", if we are in the world, we have more kindness and love for the people around us, and we can naturally harvest more close popularity.
Profit is the goal, talking about people's profit-seeking. The world is bustling, all for profit; The world is crowded, all for profit. The more people gather, the more interests exist, why a large enterprise can gather thousands of employees to work here, is because there is value and interests here;
A petty and selfish boss, even if he runs a promising industry, he can't be very big, because everyone knows that there is no interest in following him.
Business cooperation, to benefit others, then with people, also know how to bring benefits to others, because the essence of interpersonal relations, in fact, is the exchange of interests, of course, this exchange, must be based on morality, fairness and legality.
Reputation is persuaded. Zhuangzi said that "reputation is persuasion", reputation, is praise and reward, such as the boss to give employees bonuses and honors, then employees will be more motivated.
Human desires, not only material, but also spiritual sense of achievement and honor, all people desire to be respected and recognized by others, which is a kind of pursuit of self-worth, including children.
For example, learning, using stick education to force children to learn, it is better to praise and motivate education, because compulsory learning is passive, and incentive education can stimulate children's interest in independent learning. In life, the kind of person who doesn't have a good word as soon as he opens his mouth will definitely be alienated and ostracized, while people who often affirm others (especially those who praise others sincerely) will be more likely to win people's hearts. Of course, the persuasion of praise is by no means to teach people to hypocritically flattery, but to be good at discovering the advantages of others and acknowledging the excellence of others.
It's not easy to be popular, but it's easy to be disliked, and if you impose what you don't want, others will avoid you. This is what we often say, "Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
There are many bad things in human nature, such as arrogance, such as selfishness and greed, and vanity and jealousy, although everyone has more or less these faults, but we still hate to see the arrogance and greed shown in others, so empathy, only by restraining their own nature, can we gain more popularity. In fact, the real success is not to defeat the opponent, but to compete with their own humanity!
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