It's a widely discussed topic about how to treat your child's mistakes as a parent, and today I'm going to give some insight again. First of all, we must accept the fact that children make mistakes. Children are going through a critical period of psychological and emotional development, and they are not yet fully independent in their mindset and behavior. Therefore, we should be tolerant of their mistakes in the process of growing up. In other words, we should not treat them as individuals with full capacity to act. Making mistakes is actually part of a child's development. This can actually be even more worrying if the child never makes mistakes. Isn't it worrying to imagine that at the stage of mental development, children may miss out on the opportunity to learn by trying, imitating, and exploring, and just repeat what is safe and sure of them? We can take a cue from the story of the Monkey King, which is a valuable lesson for parents. We often call children "bear children" or "furry children", and Sun Wukong may not even be as good as "bear children", he is more like a "monkey child". He often makes mistakes and is not easy to discipline. During Sun Wukong's upbringing, Avalokiteshvara and Buddha Nyolai were primarily responsible for teaching him. They are never surprised or blamed for the Monkey King's mistakes, because they think it is natural for monkeys to make mistakes. Every time Sun Wukong gets into trouble, Guanyin Bodhisattva already knows. From this perspective, if the child does not come to you when they are in trouble, it may mean that your role as a parent has not been successful. When parents ask "how do grumpy parents deal with their children's emotions and communication difficulties," should they reflect on their responsibilities? Parents should control their emotions first, learn to grow, and allow their children to make mistakes.
Second, punishment based on love and aimed at growth is necessary. Sun Wukong once made a big fuss in the Heavenly Palace and said to the Jade Emperor: "This year it is my turn to be the emperor!" It's like a middle school student challenging the principal: "Why can you be the principal but I can't?" This behavior disrupted the order of the school, and eventually the principal had to bring in his father. When Sun Wukong's "father" Rulai Buddha dealt with this problem, he did not hold a grudge, but pressed him under the Five Fingers Mountain with a kind attitude. It's like a father punishing a child at home, locking him up in the house for a while, forbidding him to go out and watch TV. After a period of punishment, Guanyin Bodhisattva said that this was not a long-term solution, and finally proposed to let Sun Wukong learn and grow with the people who learned the scriptures. When a child makes a mistake, parents should be clear about the purpose of punishment and avoid making the child feel resentment from the parents. Even when Sun Wukong was punished, he only felt awe, not hatred. When parents punish their children, they should avoid showing anger and should do so for educational purposes. Third, create "making mistakes**" to take on the wrong experiences of your child's growth. A child's experiences as they grow up are important, but their attempts are likely to go wrong. Therefore, we should be prepared for this and suffer the consequences for their mistakes. For example, we can set up a special "make mistakes**" for our children, for example, my daughter tried to help her mother serve food when she was a child, but her mother stopped her. I thought it was a serious problem and immediately organized a family meeting. I asked about the value of the plate and the dish, and then offered that if my daughter accidentally broke the plate while serving the dish, we could use the money to compensate. In this way, the daughter not only has the joyful experience of participating in family life, but also learns to take responsibility. Life is a process of continuous experience and learning, and making mistakes is a natural phenomenon. However, since parents do not accept their child's nature to make mistakes, they may act irrationally. Therefore, we need to strengthen the education of parents so that they realize that making mistakes is part of their children's development. Since there are poverty alleviation, environmental protection and charity in society, why can't families set up a "mistake"? Richard Taylor, winner of the 2017 Nobel Prize in Economics, introduced the concept of mental accounting, which is already used by many families to assess, regulate and process household budgets. When parents prepare a special account for their children's mistakes, they will assume that making mistakes is part of the process of growing up, and they will not affect other family expenses because of this expense, so they will be more receptive to their children's mistakes. There are three channels for making mistakes: the child's New Year's money, the proportion of the parents' salary, and if there are two children, two are needed, which can be managed together but must be separated from the accounts.