Recently, an insider exposed the important clues of the "murder of a Chinese engineer in the United States Google". Recently, an insider told that three days before the incident, Chen Liren mentioned to a friend that he had made a mistake at work, causing a lot of losses, and was facing accountability, and the pressure was suddenly very great. The friend felt that Chen Liren's mental state was abnormal and asked him to see a psychiatrist on the morning of January 16. His parents hired a lawyer to prove his innocence from the loss of mental control. **The man's family is well-off, his father is the leader of the system, and his mother's identity is not disclosed. Chen Liren's parents were found at the trial, and prosecutors postponed the arraignment to February 5.
The couple was once regarded as affectionate, but for some reason they suddenly turned against each other to such an extreme degree, and the **man was in the spotlight for allegedly killing his wife, especially when the ** person personally confessed to the violence and death at home, the public eye focused on a thought-provoking question-Why do men commit violence?
Recently, the views of Yar Apte, a veteran Israeli domestic violence teacher, seem to cut through the epidermis of this complex phenomenon like a sharp scalpel.
Apt points out that many abusers are driven by a "hallucinatory belief model of unity and control," perhaps called "partner control fetish," in which they are unable or unwilling to accept that their partner has independent needs and that these needs may not meet their expectations. This inability to deal with contradictions is like lighting a fuse that keeps them inWhen faced with the reality of a partner "out of control", a strong sense of helplessness breeds in the heart, which then turns into anger and eventually turns into irrational violence. This is a key ingredient of what is known as "toxic masculinity".
Historically, similar family tragedies caused by emotional loss of control are not isolated cases. For example, in "Vanity Fair" written by Thackeray, the male protagonist Roderick Portchester's arbitrariness and desire for absolute control over his wife reflect the typical characteristics of Victorian "machismo"; is also like some characters in modern film and television works, which also portray career setbacks and social expectationsIt is a phenomenon of men trying to maintain their dignity by controlling those closest to them, only to end up in the abyss of violence.
Back to reality,In this case, Chen Liren made serious mistakes in his work and faced accountability, and his mental state collapsed instantly. Chen Liren suffered major mistakes at work and faced pressure to be held accountable, which undoubtedly exacerbated his mental tension and anxiety, and his family education background and good family background did not seem to be a cushion against this psychological crisis. On the contrary, his father's status as a leader within the system may have exacerbated his obsession with personal achievement and social statusWhen ideals and reality collide violently, the "illusion of control" disintegrates, and violence becomes his way of coping.
How to reduce domestic violence and gender-based violence? We need to go beyond condemnation and punishment, but also need to guard against the socio-cultural attitudes and psychological mechanisms that can breed violenceEspecially about the excessive expectation that men show control and power. Only when we are aware and break the shackles of "toxic masculinity".In order to truly build a family and social environment that respects individual differences and advocates equal rights and harmony. Only when our society recognizes the importance of mental health education and establishes a healthy coping mechanism for failures and setbacks can we truly prevent such tragedies from happening at the source.