**Self-Teacher Circle).
* TV host Xu Li once shared the experience of getting along with her mother-in-law, who is a very wise person, and this wisdom is called "showing weakness".
Xu Li had a failed marriage, worked hard in Beijing with her children, and later met her current husband. After getting married, I want to go out for my honeymoon, the child is a problem, I can't take the child for the honeymoon, my mother-in-law said don't worry, leave the child to me. Although she entered a family, she was not a grandmother after all, Xu Li still couldn't let go of it in her heart, and the child was obviously not very happy. But there is no other too good choice, so I left the child to my grandmother, and when I left, Xu Li secretly told the child that I could call my mother at any time if there was anything.
In this way, a day has passed, two days have passed, several days have passed, Xu Li has never received the child's **, she is very puzzled, and she is also a little apprehensive, so she took the initiative to dial the ** grandmother, and turned around to ask the child's situation, grandma said, the child is very good, is making sculptures in the yard (grandma is a very famous sculptor), rest assured.
Xu Li thought that her grandmother was afraid that it would affect their honeymoon, so she said this just to comfort her, and she couldn't help but be a little worried, so she hurried back after the honeymoon. As a result, as soon as I came back and entered the door, I saw that the child and grandmother were putting the finishing touches on the statue in the courtyard, and the statue was the husband and wife. Seeing the old and the young happily getting along, her hanging heart was put down.
Xu Li wondered how the old lady got along with her grandson, she "bought" the child's heart in such a short time, and the child didn't think about her mother these days, and the old and the young, who were originally strangers, got along so well. Later, Xu Li found that the child and her grandmother were getting closer and closer, so she couldn't help but ask her grandmother what kind of panacea was used to make the child like her so much. The mother-in-law smiled and said, in fact, it's nothing, just learn to show weakness to the child. When there are things that children can do, they will ask them to help them, such as asking them to move statues, look up English words, and add a sentence "You can't do this except you, so you should do it". In this way, the child's self-esteem has been greatly satisfied, and the child has a greater sense of accomplishment and is more willing to get along with grandma.
Xu Li slowly discovered that grandma's trick was not only used on children, but also on the whole family, and it was tried and tested. Grandma often said that I was clumsy, cooking was not delicious, and I couldn't learn, and grandpa cooked the best, so she rarely cooked at home. Once my grandfather fell and was admitted to the hospital, where he had no appetite. Grandpa loves to drink bean juice, so grandma quietly made it at home, and asked Xu Li to send it to the hospital after it was done, and told her when she left: Don't tell your father-in-law that I made it, just say that I bought it from the outside market. After Xu Li was sent to the hospital, a large bowl of bean juice was drunk by the old man after a while, and he was full of praise.
After Xu Li came back, she wondered and asked her mother-in-law, it turns out that you cook so deliciously, why do you say that you don't know how to cook?Grandma smiled and said: Actually, my cooking is much better than my grandfather's cooking, but if I show that I am better than him everywhere at home, he will definitely feel uncomfortable, even if the people who are close to him are together, they will care about their sense of worth, so there are many things I can actually do myself, but I will still say that I can't do it well, let him do it, although the old man complains that he often lets him work, but his heart is always beautiful.
It's great wisdom to not have to do a lot of things yourself, and to make others feel respected. And the embodiment of great wisdom is to "show weakness". "Showing weakness" is not that you are really weak, but rather giving others a force to give others upward and good. "Showing weakness" is to respect others, and in the end, to win the respect of others.
Sometimes "showing weakness" can turn enemies into friends. I can receive a lot of private messages every day from my various self** accounts, a few days ago someone sent me a poop emoji in a private message, I don't have any upset, there must be someone who likes you, I just replied with a sentence of "Thank you for your attention, I will work hard". After a while, the other party gave me a handshake in return. When you "show weakness" to the other party and make the other party feel that you are inferior to him, he will have a sense of superiority in his heart, which will make him more open-minded, more tolerant, and therefore more accepting of you.
In the process of communicating with children, I also often use the technique of "showing weakness". Playing Sudoku with my son, I often pretend to rack my brain and can't remember, and finally after my son writes the correct answer, I will add a sentence "What do you think, why didn't I think of it", and my son said excitedly, "This is not simple, you see .......""Balabala, tell me a lot. I listened carefully with my ears and was happy in my heart, which not only gave the child confidence but also exercised his expression skills.
"Showing weakness" is kindness, but also wisdom