When Lincoln was a child, he farmed on his family's farm.
Farming is very hard, but the cattle at home don't understand it at all, and they still grind and chirp, and don't cooperate with their masters.
Just when everyone was angry, they suddenly found that the cow was running faster.
Puzzled, Lincoln studied the cow and found a cow fly on its back, biting the cow's skin.
The tingling sensation forced the ox to speed forward.
This is known as the "Cowfly Law".
The ancients said: "Water is not excited, people are not excited." ”A person's ability is provoked, and the happiness of a couple is also.
Therefore, when you are very capable, you must have someone to continue to motivate you, and you must also motivate the lover around you, otherwise the family will collapse.
No matter how capable you are, if you can't join hands with your lover, you will be cold.
The Ming Dynasty writer Feng Menglong told a story.
During the reign of Emperor Huizong of the Song Dynasty, there was a man named Shen Bixian in Haining County, who made a living by weaving, and his wife Yan was at home, taking care of housework and educating his son.
They only have one son, Shen Xiu, who has been spoiled since he was a child.
Shen Xiu went to walk the birds every day, carried the thrush, showed off all over the world, and treated the birds as treasures and spent money to provide them.
In the early summer of a certain year, Shen Xiu took the birds to play in the forest, comparing the sound of the birds with others.
Unexpectedly, Shen Xiu suddenly fell ill and fell to the ground. An old man passing by thought that birds could be sold for money, so he had evil intentions and harmed Shen Xiu.
When Shen Bixian and his wife saw their son's ending, they were in pain and cried so much that they cried out to the sky. For the rest of their lives, they can only live in accusations against each other.
The poem says: "I advise the world to be admonished, and don't teach your children not to be at home." ”In a family, men have the ability, but they don't stimulate the woman's ability, so the woman is lazy to eat, and she is too lazy to teach her husband and children. This creates a situation where one person fights alone.
When he first gets married, a man thinks that it is right to love his wife; It is also right to listen to the wife. As the children grow up, they find that their wives are not disciplined and their children are not able to learn and have no skills, and men will feel cold.
Since ancient times, we have admired this truth"The wife is virtuous and the husband is less troubled, and the son is filial to the father. ”
How can a man not motivate his wife and work hard to maintain the family? Even doting on one's wife is a mistake.
You can't make a forest alone. When husband and wife are together, they can hear the sound of the wind passing through the woods, and they can feel the beauty of a tree shaking a tree.
In a decent family, the husband and wife are half a pound against eight taels.
In the TV series "Thirty Only", Gu Jia is a very capable woman.
In the life of her husband Xu Huanshan, it can be said that she left a lot of sweat. Help to contact customers and make the company better; Entered the wife's circle to win orders for the company, and she never asked for credit.
When her husband mixes well, she takes care of the children at home and works hard.
Just when the family was slowly getting better, the husband and the woman Lin Youyou got along and betrayed the marriage.
Why do men who don't have the ability still eat in the bowl and look at the pot? The root of this is that husband and wife cannot develop in harmony, and women work too much, and men will be idle.
Before getting married, parents will mention "the right match". It is gratifying and recognized that the children of two similar families can meet and love each other.
After getting married, whether the husband and wife can still be "even" depends on themselves to grasp it, and the parents can't help it.Neither of them has the ability, but they can work together, and the family will be better. Husband and wife are of the same heart, and their profits are broken.
One person has the ability, the other person does not have the ability, but they can walk hand in hand and influence each other, then they can promote each other.
My classmate Xiaoqin, after getting married, could have enjoyed everything given by her in-laws, and she could have stretched out her hands to eat to open her mouth. But she chose to go to her in-law's company to work.
After a period of hard work, she went it alone and opened a shop.
Everyone asked: "It's all over the world, and you're still fighting so hard?" ”
Xiaoqin said: "I want to put pressure on myself to make me worthy of him." ”
Believe it or not, if you try to suck the nectar of a flower, you will slowly inhale the bitter taste. If you are a honey maker, you are very sweet, and your family is also very sweet.
Self-pressure is to give yourself a cowfly, and the person next to the pillow has been at the same level, don't fall behind.
A person's greatest ability is to run his own family well.
As for people, never stay in your comfort zone, but after a while of rest, move on.
As a member of a couple, when you are strong, you must not only grow yourself, but also motivate those around you to grow.
When you are weak, you must know how to catch up and let the person next to you motivate you.
Motivate each other, this is the best model for running a family.
Specifically, couples should do the following:
First, communicate or quarrel appropriately.
Yong said: "Every compromise between husband and wife is through a quarrel. ”In the midst of the noise, couples will also have festivals, but they can also dig out each other's hearts, so that ideas become transparent and easy to promote feelings.
Second, dare to point out the shortcomings of the other party.
Lovers need to praise all the time, but while praising couples, they must also point out shortcomings and dare to find faults. Although people cannot be perfect, the shortcomings can be reduced.
You can't accommodate each other indefinitely and give them the opportunity to be "self-righteous".
Third, create a sense of crisis in marriage and take precautions.
When the family collapses, it is too late to analyze the crisis.
Identify potential crises in the family early and work together to avoid them and bring some tension to them. After the crisis is gone, couples are relieved and will be grateful to each other.
The crisis of money prompts everyone to deposit; The crisis of feelings prompts everyone to cherish fate; The crisis of parenting has brought about a long-term thinking in the family.
Too many couples divorce, not because of lack of food and clothing, but because they can't survive the dull days.
"Plain is true", this is true. But we also need to believe in another saying: "Beneath the calm surface of the lake lies rough waves." ”Do housework, work, parenting, filial piety. None of them are not tired, but if you are ruthless to yourself, you will also have a head when you are tired.
When husband and wife are together, they practice for a lifetime, and after experiencing the torment of fire, they will be tempered into steel.