I hope that everyone will formally love, truly regard love, respect each other, and respect others.
On this silent night, I sat alone in the corner of the study, the pen in my hand seemed to have lost its former agility and stagnated on the blank paper. My heart, like an abandoned desert island, is relentlessly invaded by the storm of betrayal. My husband's infidelity was like a sudden storm that washed away all my trust and security.
I try to recall the oaths we once made, the promises of loyalty and eternity, that now seem so ironic. I don't understand what made him betray the homeland we built together, what made him choose that dirty path. I tried to find the answer in his eyes, but saw only escape and guilt, which was not the explanation I wanted.
I felt myself surrounded by a deep sense of filth, a filth that was not only a physical betrayal, but also a spiritual betrayal. I can't accept him like this, I can't accept that our love is so easily tarnished. I tried to cleanse myself, but the stain on my heart never seemed to be clear.
I tried to understand, I tried to forgive, but whenever I closed my eyes, the images haunted me like a nightmare. I felt torn apart, on the one hand, nostalgia for the fond memories of the past, and on the other hand, anger at the harsh reality of the present. My soul was exhausted from this struggle, and I didn't know where to go.
I began to doubt everything, to doubt love, to doubt humanity, and even to myself. I no longer believe in those sweet words, no longer believe in those seemingly firm promises. I felt isolated and abandoned in a world of lies and deception.
But in this abyss of pain, I am also looking for strength. I tried to rebuild myself, to try to find that independent, strong me. I knew I couldn't allow myself to wallow in this failed marriage, and I needed to get back on my feet and find my life back.
It's been a long and difficult process, but I know that I can only start if I face the reality and accept the pain. I need time, space, and courage to redefine my life. I'll cry, I'll be in pain, but I'll also grow and I'll be stronger.
On this sleepless night, I write these words as a testimony of my inner struggle. I know that the sun will still rise tomorrow, and I will welcome a new day with a new self.