In October 2017, Chen Sikou was 96 years old. The wife of a professor at Peking University, who was once in her prime, inevitably endured the wind and sand of the years, and pain and illness followed. With a tumor on her kidney, uremia and anemia in the ensuing infarction, and a fall and stroke, she was lying in bed extremely weak.
Two years ago, Chen Sikou's husband, Zhao Baoxu, a professor at Peking University, closed his eyes peacefully, and this pair of people who had supported them for half their lives were finally separated forever. Although the death of her husband made Chen Sikou feel sad, it also made her stronger. The children were worried that she would have a hard time living alone, so they insisted on taking her over to live with her to facilitate her care, but Chen Sikou resolutely did not want to, and she still took good care of herself when she lived alone.
In April 2017, Chen Sikou was diagnosed with kidney cancer, and in just half a year, this tough old man completely collapsed under the destruction of cancer cells. All this sudden change made Chen Sikou's children very sad, and they spent a lot of money to hire famous doctors and buy expensive medicines to prolong their mother's life, but Chen Sikou still refused.
Not only did she refuse all medical treatment and medicine, but even after leaving a few words, she made a decision that was difficult for her children to accept - a hunger strike.
On October 17, Chen Sikou began a hunger strike. Her children made some of her favorite side dishes, but she said that she could not eat them, and blocked her mouth with her hand to prevent them from feeding.
On October 18, he did not eat except for drinking water.
On October 19, the daughter of the old man Chen Sikou burst into tears in a hurry, and she couldn't bear it and chose to drink a small bowl of sesame paste.
On October 20, Chen Sikou did not eat today, and did not even drink a drop of water. Weak, she could no longer speak, but her mind was still clear, and she wrote down her demands and words of comfort to her children on paper.
On October 21, Chen Sikou still did not eat rice, and urinated early in the morning with the help of his children. At 5:31 p.m., she exhausted the last trace of energy and walked quietly and peacefully through her 96 years of life.
Schematic diagram of the elderly.
At the end of his life, he died of hunger strike in five days and died in four days, and this matter spread, and every different pair of eyes had a different view. Some people feel that the old man has completed his life with dignity and dignity, some people feel that the old man's children do not act, and some people feel that the old man ignores life, which is equivalent to suicide ...... disguise
There are different opinions, some people sigh and admire, and some people don't understand. Let's go into the life of the old man Chen Sikou and see why she chose to fast and die?
Chen Sikou was born in 1921, and when she was 5 years old, her mother passed away early. The little Chen Sikou had no choice but to live a life under the fence, and the idea of patriarchy was aggravated outside the fence, and Chen Sikou's childhood was very unhappy, and he was not loved or valued.
When he grew up, he just caught up with the influx of new ideas from the West, liberating the inherent thoughts of many people, and Chen Sikou also secretly decided to change his fate by reading. In that old era, many women who were born poor could not afford to read, but Chen Sikou did not accept his fate. She can only rely on her own work to earn tuition, so she relied on her hard work to break into the gate of Peking University, and only she knows the bitterness and sadness.
Although most people are more familiar with Chen Sikou's husband, Peking University professor Zhao Baoxu, Mr. Zhao Baoxu is a well-known political scientist and one of the pioneers of political science education at Peking University, and his influence on Peking University is indelible. Although her husband is famous, Chen Sikou was not overshadowed by her husband's brilliance, she relied on her intelligence and 100 points more efforts than others to become a special political teacher in Beijing 101 High School, and bloomed on the podium for half of her life.
The love of the older generation is the most moving, and now that society is developing rapidly, the love of young people seems to be also "developing at a high speed". In the past, the carriage and horse mail were slow, and there was only enough to love one person in a lifetime, and to accompany each other was a lifetime.
At that time, the young two met in the school magazine of Peking University, which was full of talents and talented people in the school magazine. Chen Sikou studied education at Peking University, and his writing was naturally not as amazing as those of the literature department and the Chinese department, and the person in charge of the school magazine casually glanced at it twice and put it aside.
But Chen Sikou was not discouraged, she bravely read aloud the article she wrote, this behavior also attracted the attention of Zhao Baoxu, a genius of Peking University at that time, Zhao Baoxu was wearing a green cloth coat, wearing glasses, his eyes were bright, and he was soaked in an elegant atmosphere, but he didn't expect this talented man to look at the little girl in front of him and be distracted. Chen Sikou was wearing a white shirt, although the clothes were not new but cleanly washed, with meticulous braids, but his green face was obviously firm and confident.
She read it aloud in Mandarin that was not too standard, without flowery rhetoric, but with sincerity and sincerity. After reading it, Zhao Baoxu was the first to take the lead in applauding, he stepped forward and took the manuscript in Chen Sikou's hand, and held it high:
Good, good! Well written".
What Zhao Baoxu didn't know was that at this moment, he was not only lifting a manuscript, but also lifting Chen Sikou's self-confidence and self-esteem high. The two looked at each other and smiled, although it was the first time they met, it was like seeing each other late. The appearance of the other party seemed to be the first ray of sunshine in the morning into each other's lives, and soon, the two who were in love with each other met, fell in love, and fell in love ......
One is a mild-mannered political scientist, the other is a strong and optimistic political teacher. Zhao Baoxu has been contributing to the Great Wall of China's politics all her life, and Chen Sikou is also a well-known "spicy teacher", who has cultivated batches of talents with her unique education method. They are lovers, lovers, friends, and confidants. Relying on mutual understanding and appreciation, we have walked through a long and sweet life. From the initial enthusiasm to the final mutual support like relatives, this is what love is really like.
The love story of the older generation, there are no sweet words, no flowers and chocolates, and no diamond rings, all the "I love you" have melted into the long river of time, only the companionship that will never be abandoned.
Soon after the two were married, Chen Sikou gave birth to a pair of children. Stained with the pen and ink of their parents and Peking University, the two children are also talents who read poetry and books, and more importantly, they are considerate and filial.
The wind and sand of time whistled by, and in a blink of an eye, this pair of beautiful people slowly turned white. After retirement, they still chose to return to the Blue Flag Camp, that is, the family home of Peking University Tsinghua University, where most of the people live are elderly, and it is a rare and pure place in the busy city of Beijing, which is 40 years.
The life of the old couple is very simple and warm, not seeking wealth but staying together, doing some exercise with each other every morning, buying groceries, cooking and reading books together, although the body is not as old as before, but their home is always clean. The children would buy some fruit and pastries on the weekends to visit, and the family spent the year after year.
They are still learning, perhaps slower than when they were younger, but they still love to read. Although Zhao Baoxu's eyes were not good later, fortunately, Chen Sikou was his "eye" and read the content of the book to him word by word.
Chen Sikou occasionally returns to school as a special teacher, while her husband, Zhao Baoxu, was hired as a senior professor at Peking University in 2005.
In 2009, Zhao Baoxu was diagnosed with cancer, 88-year-old he refused to do surgery and chose to be conservative**, and at this time Chen Sikou, who was still quite strong, did his best to take care of Zhao Baoxu, and in the same year, Zhao Baoxu also participated in the 5th Beijing Forum "World Political Changes and Civilization Interaction" sub-forum, he used sharp eyes, clear ideas and clear speech to publish an academic speech on ""Harmony is precious" and building a harmonious world.
He is still so gentle and elegant, making people forget that he is already an old man who is sick, and at the end of the speech, he also specially thanked Chen Sikou:
In particular, I would like to thank my wife, Chen Sikou, for her careful care and for her comments and suggestions on this article. ”
It's a pity that the wind and sand of time have always been ruthless, and this heartwarming story has finally come to an end.
At 4:37 a.m. on January 21, 2012, Mr. Zhao Baoxu passed away at Peking University Third Hospital at the age of 90.
Mr. Zhao Baoxu used his last strength to hold the hand of his wife Chen Sikou at the last moment, his eyes were dry, but his heart was full of tears. He couldn't speak for a long time, but when the two looked at each other, she understood everything, she had taken care of him for so many years, and it was time to take good care of herself in the past few years.
After Zhao Baoxu passed away, Chen Sikou did not grieve for too long, she was even glad that her husband was not tortured by illness for too long, and walked peacefully and decently, and what she wanted to live well in the future was her own last few years.
Death has always been a serious topic, and people tend to avoid it and find it unlucky. But no matter who you are, you have to embrace death after all.
Is it better to live as long as possible? Chen Sikou doesn't think so. During the two years she spent with her husband in the hospital, she saw too much suffering in the world. Seeing too many elderly people suffering in hospital beds, their bodies full of tubes to continue their lives, and looking at their relatives who wash their faces with tears every day, not only the body hurts, but also the heart hurts.
In particular, an old man at that time, who was only 70 years old, asked his four children to visit him in turn every day. Even eating a banana makes her daughter run several times, picks and chooses food, and directs her children to do that every day, as if she is not recuperating, but exercising some kind of authority, which seems willful, but in fact she is insecure, and uses these behaviors to attract the attention and attention of her children. Although it seems to have the excitement of being surrounded by children, in fact, it is still lonely inside.
Chen Sikou had already made up her mind, she didn't want such an old age.
After Zhao Baoxu's death, she insisted on living alone in the Blue Flag Camp. The children were relieved and proposed to move in with them to facilitate their care, but Chen Sikou did not agree, and finally agreed to hire a cleaner who came twice a week under the soft grinding and hard foaming of the children.
Chen Sikou also made a request, hoping that her children would not come to visit too often, she was not like other elderly people who had become family homes, waiting pitifully for their children to care for her, and she did not want her children to sacrifice their lives for herself. She wants to live her own independent life, and she will be independent early when she is young, who said that she can't do it in old age?
The days seem to have returned to the past, she still goes to bed early and gets up early, does sports, reads, buys groceries and cooks, but there is one less person around her, so she will also spend part of her time missing the person she once accompanied.
She schedules her days to the full, so that she doesn't feel lonely, and she maintains a high quality of old age at her own unhurried pace.
She looks much tougher than her peers, and at the age of 94, she can still be interviewed by reporters with a clear mind, and in the interview, Chen Sikou also revealed the secret of her high life and her unique "view of old age".
She believes that each stage of life has different pursuits and goals. Childhood is about playing, youth is about studying, middle age is about work, and old age is naturally there. And the old man Chen Sikou set two goals for his old age:
Minimize your illness and live a high-quality old age.
In the last few years when the candle burns out, try to "go faster" not only to reduce your own suffering, but also to avoid burdening and suffering your loved ones.
For 40 years, she has been learning knowledge, and she firmly believes that she is the teacher who knows her body best, and she is also her own doctor.
Knowledge is the guarantee of her tough body, and longevity is formed by three factors: the first is heredity and genes, the second is exercise and later health, and the third is good living habits.
She insisted on reading, reading all medical and dietary therapy books, and absorbed a lot of hospital health care knowledge. In addition, it is also necessary to have a comprehensive understanding of your physical condition, comprehensively analyze your physical problems, explore the rules, and think about ways and measures to solve them.
Sometimes some slight pain, maybe a sleep or massage can be relieved, but some elderly people because of their health is too nervous, a little illness and a small pain to run to the hospital, there is nothing to do, but because of the high tension in the heart plus the twists and turns and fatigue of seeing a doctor, but fell ill.
Don't blindly rely on doctors, there is no magic bullet in this world, the real magic bullet is your own mentality. Blindly running to hospitals, changing doctors, and changing medicines, the result is endless disappointment, no matter how good the doctor is, you can't guarantee your eternal health, the key is to give full play to your own subjective initiative.
Chen Sikou once had ** itching, and when he had an attack, he itched so much that he couldn't sleep over and over. It is too troublesome to ask for help from doctors or relatives, not to mention that far water can't save near fire. So she tried to calm herself down, rummaged through her mind to find the medical knowledge related to ** inflammation she had seen, massaged the corresponding acupuncture points, and took appropriate dietary therapy to relieve the itching at that time.
Later, she adjusted her diet, insisted on exercise and massage, and her itchy condition gradually improved. Maybe this is a long-term illness to become a doctor, and only you know the cold, warm, and itchy of your body.
Every stage of life is unsatisfactory, especially in old age, the deterioration of bodily functions is inevitable. But learn to enjoy every stage of life, to enjoy and accept loneliness.
Loneliness is the norm of life, and children thinking about you and visiting you are gifts and surprises in life, not necessities. Instead of suffering from gains and losses like other old people, worrying that their children are not filial, and even thinking that their children will abandon themselves if they do not come to visit them.
She smiled calmly and calmly answered the reporter's questions, and did not hesitate to share her pension secrets. What the reporter didn't know was that the kind old man in front of him was diagnosed with kidney cancer as early as a few years ago. You can't imagine that behind her voice and smile, there is unbearable pain.
Chen Sikou knows in his heart that people can never escape the natural law of birth, old age, sickness and death. No matter how healthy the body is, as long as you are old, cancer will naturally come to your door, and instead of fearing it, it is better to accept it and solve it.
The doctor and the child persuaded her to have surgery to remove the tumor, but she did not agree, and she chose to be as conservative as her husband. Can a tumor be cut to live forever? Rather than staying in a hospital bed with a tube inserted to sustain life, it is better to live a high-quality life for a few years. She doesn't like how to compete with this old age before the last day, because of the aging of her body functions and curled up like a baby, at the mercy of others, and even the capital of joy, anger and sorrow has been lost. Looking at the children who are running up and down for you, why let one person's illness drag down an entire family?
Later years are a bloody storm that cannot be escaped, and it is better to embrace it in a hurry than to hide and hide.
On October 17, 2017, Chen Sikou decided to fast, she knew better than anyone else that her body had reached the limit of her life. But she still tidied herself up, even if she had to leave, she had to go decently and elegantly.
These four days were special, and she, as the seriously ill one, comforted her children, relatives and friends:
It's not me who suffers, it's you, my pain is fleeting, but your pain is long. ”
Don't persuade me, don't comfort me, I'll go earlier and be more decent. ”
I've taught all my life, and this is the last lesson I teach you with my life, that death is not terrible, it's terrible to live without dignity, to live with low quality. ”
At the age of 96, she ended her life by fasting, and her courage and special outlook on life sparked widespread discussion in society. Some people praised her and admired her, while others felt that she was blaspheming her life.
I will try to go as fast as possible in the last stage of my life, so that I will have less pain and you will have less burden.
Life is short for decades, and there has never been a standard answer to how to live and how to die. Instead of going with the flow, listen to your own voice. We can't choose what family we are born into in our lives, but we still have the power to control our own death.
Thank you Chen Sikou for teaching us the last lesson with his life, love yourself and enjoy yourself at every stage. If we are powerless to resist the wind and sand of time, it is better to say goodbye elegantly and decently.