1.Only pin your happiness on yourself that you can control.
Whether you are happy or not, you can't focus on people and things that are beyond your control. For example, your lover (you are only happy when you are with him), such as promotion at work (you can only be satisfied if you get it).
You should pin your happiness on yourself, such as dressing up beautifully today, tidying up your home, watching a beautiful movie, ......As long as you like yourself to do well, the king of heaven and Lao Tzu can't interfere with your happiness and happiness.
2.Allow everything to happen and get rid of the little problem of "order sensitivity".
If you feel irritated when you see someone cutting in line, yelling loudly, etc., and if you are extremely depressed because someone else is letting you release your pigeon and interrupting your plans, don't doubt it, this is a high degree of order sensitivity.
There is a very normative villain living inside you, who demands that everything that happens around you must be carried out according to the guidelines and plans, and if someone disrupts it, you will be very intolerable.
So you're always questioning, "why did they do this", "why could he do this", "why did they treat me like this", and you always feel pain because the rules were broken, and you punish yourself for the fault of others.
But in this world, changes are greater than planned, and accidents are the norm. If you can't accept accidents, you can't live in harmony with the world.
Try to reconcile with the villain in your heart, tell yourself that you allow everything to happen, and that accidents are also a unique landscape, and that providence has its own meaning.
3.Don't worry about the future and the uncontrollable.
The classic line "Hakuna Matata" in The Lion King, the protagonist explains that "if something bad can happen and you can't do anything about it, then why worry?" ”
It is still applicable in the vast majority of scenarios in life.
For example, if you choose to go all out at work, don't worry about what to do if the leader picks on you.
You have to think: I've done my best anyway, and it's his business to like it or not.
For example, if you choose to marry your lover, don't worry about what to do if he changes his mind in the next few decades.
You have to think: this is not something that my worries can change, and it can't sway his heart. It's better to close your eyes and enjoy the moment, and talk about it until the day it happens.
Of course, not worrying doesn't mean it doesn't matter. We still have to do our best to do it well, and then, don't expect too much and force the results.
4.Don't get caught up in the bad mood of the past, focus on the present and the future.
It is true that many things in the past have been bad, either because of your own stupid mistakes, or because you have been let down for no reason.
But that's all in the past!
Blindly dwelling on the pain of the past, questioning others, regretting and crying, will not change the facts that have happened, and will also put you stuck in an extremely bad state of mind.
The Western proverb says, don't cry over spilled milk. Flip this glass of milk, stand up, and pour yourself a new glass of juice. At least this time, you'll hold it steady and won't knock it over again.
5.Being too sensitive to perception is a burden. Be blunt and block out all noise.
What does it have to do with inconsequential colleagues in the workplace who don't like you?
Does an ex-boyfriend break up and marry someone else quickly affect your happiness?
Block out these irrelevant factors, don't affect your mood, let alone your judgment, you will be more stable and your steps will be firmer.
6.Don't procrastinate, do what comes to mind, start small.
There are so many big tasks, so important and resolute, that we are scared to think about.
For example, the brushing questions for the graduate school entrance examination, or a large material, is unwilling to start, and it will be yellow if it is delayed.
Don't be intimidated by the fact that it's too hard, try to cut the big task into smaller ones.
Then start from the details, such as brushing 10 questions today, brushing 20 questions tomorrow, and getting into the state little by little, it is not difficult to do.
In fact, people are more tired when they are procrastinating and decadent, because their hearts will be condemned and they will be full of guilt for themselves, and this internal friction will make them struggle and be very painful.
On the contrary, when you go all out and do things with full spirit, although your body is tired, your mental strength will be more vigorous and passionate because you are satisfied with yourself.
Therefore, the weaker your heart is, the harder you have to work, and the dopamine of positive feedback will make you better and better.
Ye Zijun's original article, plagiarism must be investigated).
I am Ye Zijun, I have been in the system for more than ten years, I talk about my workplace experience in a down-to-earth manner, and honestly teach you to avoid pitfalls. Follow me and let you grow faster!