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During the Spring Festival this year, I attended a lively party.
I returned to my rural hometown after a three-year absence, and I also met many relatives and friends who had been separated for a long time.
Unexpectedly, both the scenery and the people have become extremely unfamiliar.
Just like Mr. Lu Xun's emotion in "Hometown": "The hometown I remember is not like this." ”
After a year of work and a year of returning to my hometown, I finally set foot on the homeland of my dreams, but found that it was unrecognizable.
When I came back, the scenery changed.
On the second day of the Lunar New Year, I took a cigarette and two bottles of wine to a relative's house for dinner.
As soon as we sat down, everyone talked about the changes in the village
My uncle died of cancer in the autumn, my uncle's son divorced, and my second aunt's family built a new house ......
The roads in the village are getting better and better, and a new road was opened at the entrance of the village last year.
Speaking of this, my cousin mentioned more: "Before the road was built, it was windy and rainy for several days, and the cypress tree at the entrance of the village was blown down. ”
I was stunned, and memories from years ago flooded into my mind.
I remember when I was a child, we used to climb the tree together to dig birds' nests and catch beetles.
When I was tired of playing, I sat on the branch and played a guessing game.
The afterglow of the setting sun sprinkled down, and the smiling faces of companions and the lush branches and leaves were covered with a layer of golden light.
And now, the tree is gone, and the happiness of the past cannot be recovered.
Thinking of this, I suddenly understood Mr. Lu Xun's loneliness and disappointment in "Hometown".
In the article, he said that he was looking forward to returning to his hometown more than 2,000 miles away and after more than 20 years.
But the closer he got to his hometown, the lower his mood became.
At that time, the weather was gloomy, the cold wind was whining, and there were several deserted villages near and far, much more dilapidated than he remembered.
The old house of the family is even more mottled with mottled walls, dimly lit, and the roof is scattered with broken stems of withered grass, which looks extremely desolate.
He couldn't help but sigh: "Is this my hometown that I have always remembered for the past 20 years?" ”
In fact, every year when we come home during the Spring Festival, we will more or less find some changes:
The dirt road, which used to be muddy when it rained, has been paved with a layer of clean cement.
The house that was renovated when I was in college had a few cracks in the walls.
The neighbor's uneducated son finally found a job, married a daughter-in-law, and moved into the city.
The old ladies who like to sit and chat at the entrance of the village have changed from seven or eight at the beginning to three or five, and now they are all gone.
Embracing You Through the Sea of People" said:
The child looks into the distance and misses his hometown. We go from struggling to loosen our ties to thinking about surrendering, which is probably growth. ”
Life is probably about one thing and the other, and if one part is thriving, it means that the other part is gradually dying out.
We are moving forward day by day, and our hometown is changing year by year, and no one can reverse the law of time and transit.
Instead of lamenting the passage of time, it is better to cherish the happiness of the family sitting idlely, and remember the amiable warmth of the lights.
Even if that homeland is constantly changing, the laughter and laughter in the memory will never fade.
Confidants get together, but the feelings fade.
Before I had time to sigh too much, I heard a loud noise: "Mr. Liu is here......”
Following the prestige, it turned out to be Fa Xiao Zhang Zhao and Liu Wei, who walked towards my table together.
From elementary school to high school, we have always been in the same class, and we have been with each other for 12 years.
The relationship is so good that a popsicle takes turns to eat, a handful of melon seeds are knocked apart, and mistakes are also carried together.
But as we graduated from college and started working, we each embarked on different trajectories.
I worked in a company in another place, Zhang Zhao stayed in his hometown as a civil servant, and Liu Wei started his own business and became a boss.
The identities are different, the topics are less, and I can't remember when we completely cut off contact.
I happened to sit at the same table this time, and I was surprised and delighted.
Young troubles, intimate nicknames ......Scenes of the past came to my lips in an instant.
But before I could speak, I was doused with enthusiasm by Zhang Zhao's words.
He called Liu Wei one by one, "Mr. Liu", and his tone was full of restraint and alienation.
This voice of Mr. Liu is very similar to the "master" in the mouth of Runtu in "Hometown".
Runtu was Lu Xun's childhood playmate, the son of a farmer.
When I was a child, Lu Xun was called "Brother Xun", and we had endless words together.
Runtu told Lu Xun about the birds on the snow, the Ru in the melon field, and gave him the shells he picked up on the beach.
Thirty years later, the two reunited after a long absence, but Runtu didn't dare to say a word, and respectfully called "master".
Lu Xun shuddered suddenly, and found that there was already a thick barrier between them.
The sincere friendship of the past has long since dissipated in the silent passage of time.
As the saying goes: the branches of the world, each riding the stream, each has a ferry, and each has a return boat.
No matter how good friends they once were, they will slowly separate on the timeline and devote themselves to new circles and destinations.
Only during the Spring Festival every year, these old friends scattered in Tiannan and Haibei have the opportunity to meet again.
However, some people have risen to the top, and some people are still crawling forward, and the three views, financial resources, and status are completely different.
Your anguish is unreasonable in his eyes; His hesitation is a disguised show off to you.
In the final analysis, human beings are environmental animals, and when experiences and circumstances change, their state of mind is different.
Barely getting together, I can only chew on the bland and tasteless past, and endure the embarrassment of having nothing to say.
Life is a one-way train with no return, destined to come and go, gathering and scattering.
Look down on each other's drifting away, keep up with friends who can't catch up, and can't wait for companions to say goodbye with dignity.
Thanksgiving for meeting and accepting loss is the best commemoration of this relationship.
Relatives are reunited, but the estrangement is deep.
When I was talking to Zhang Zhao and Liu Wei, a few distant relatives walked over to our table with wine glasses.
After two pleasantries, a series of interrogations from them came at me like machine guns: "Is the salary high?" "How big is the house?" "How's the child's grades?" ”
As soon as they heard that my income was mediocre and that I had not bought a house in the city, they immediately changed their faces and turned their "guns" on other juniors.
First, he chased after his cousin, who was a teacher in the county, and said: "Our child can't sit still as soon as he has a holiday, so you can help him with homework for a few days." ”
smiled at his cousin who settled in Beijing: "Your mother said that you earn tens of thousands of dollars a month, you are really promising!" Let my son go to you in the future. ”
My cousin cast a plea at me, and I smiled wryly and turned my head to dodge, but I happened to see the uncle opposite pick up the cigarette on the table and quietly stuff it into his pocket.
Halfway through the meal, the cousin next to me took out a bundle of plastic bags, muttered, "My grandson must not have eaten well at home", and quickly packed a few plates of meat and vegetables.
This situation reminds me of the second sister-in-law Yang who is snarky and loves to take advantage of in "Hometown".
Knowing that Lu Xun had returned home, she hurriedly ran over to see if she could get a little benefit.
Relying on the friendship she had many years ago, she cheekily asked Lu Xun for large pieces of furniture and woodware.
After Lu Xun politely refused, she sarcastically sarcastically said: "You are wide now, you go out to sit in a sedan chair, marry a third-room aunt's wife, what do you want to do with all these rags?" ”
Seeing Lu Xun's unhappy expression, she angrily scolded him for being calculating, and took away the gloves placed at the door.
In this world, any kind of interpersonal relationship cannot escape the cliché of snobbery.
Even if you enter a family and become a family, you can't take care of any affection in front of interests.
Lu Yao said: When we were children, we often regarded our relatives as beautiful and important. Once we grow up** and start living independently, we quickly learn:
Kinship is often vulgar, trying to get a touch of each other's light, and rolling their eyes when they can't.
Especially at the banquet during the New Year's holidays, it is decently mixed and touted by everyone; mixed in general, but was coldly looked at.
You are immersed in the joy of reunion, but the other party wants to take advantage of you and chop up a few gossip for you.
In the final analysis, it is the human instinct to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages.
A truly wise person will not compete with the darkness of the human heart, but will be himself and follow his fate.
By underestimating any relationship, you can keep your own interests and reduce unnecessary suffering.
The world changes, but life goes on.
After the party, I was exhausted and seemed to be more tired than I was at work.
No wonder some people often say on the Internet that young people nowadays are more and more afraid of the New Year.
Afraid of the sadness of the passage of time, the scene in the memory no longer exists, and the parents are getting older and older year by year.
Afraid of the separation of confidants and close friends, the relationship used to be so good that there was nothing to say, but now there is only a relative wordless embarrassment.
I am also afraid of the comparison between relatives, preparing clothes, buying New Year's goods, giving out red envelopes, earning money for a year, but returning to the pre-liberation period overnight after the New Year.
There is such a passage in Queen Joan:
When I was a child, I always felt that the Chinese New Year was like being injected with a stimulant, and a lot of happiness of unknown origin erupted from my heart. When I grew up, I realized that the Chinese New Year was just a magnifying glass. Infinitely expand the subtle emotions that were originally hidden in the heart, and the happy people are happier, and the painful people are more miserable.
A Spring Festival party, seemingly lively but not human, we can no longer find the warmth of the year, nor can we retain the original purity.
is like Mr. Lu Xun in "Hometown", stepping on the land that feeds him, but he feels that there are invisible walls on all sides to isolate him.
He felt distressed by the hard work and numbness of the leap soil, and worked hard every day, and it was difficult to feed a large family.
He hated the vulgarity of Yang's second sister-in-law, he only had interests in his eyes, and he was bent on taking advantage of others.
He also lamented the decline of his hometown, and the young and middle-aged people left one after another, making it look deserted and desolate everywhere.
And he himself, middle-aged, is still working hard for life and for his career.
In order to have a place to live in a different place, he had to come back and sell the old house and cut off the roots of his hometown.
Even if he wanted to do something for his hometown, he was powerless after all, leaving a sigh in vain.
In reality, the same is true for most people.
When we go home during the Spring Festival, we see familiar things disappearing one by one, and we are full of helplessness, but we are powerless to change.
When we are younger, we may still struggle to maintain relationships with others, desperately trying to hold on to what we hold dear.
But as people walk, they will find that life has long been intolerable for you and me to do whatever we want.
Children go to school, parents care for the elderly, and human relations ......There are too many worries and worries, which smooths out your edges and corners and erases your sharpness.
Just barely maintaining an ordinary life, you have already exhausted your strength, ** still have the ability to fight with fate?
As Liang Wendao said: "When adults flap their wings, there are heavy weighing stones hanging on both wings. ”
The environment is changing, people's hearts are changing, the world is changing, but our days have to go on.
This may be the sorrow of adults, there is no way back behind them, and they can only be pushed forward by the years.
At the end of "Hometown", Mr. Lu Xun's nephew Hong'er formed a deep friendship with Runtu's son Shuisheng.
Looking at their concern for each other, Mr. Lu Xun suddenly seemed to see the leap earth and himself when he was young.
But then he thought, "They should have a new life, one that we have never lived." ”
Because there are too many people in this world, after experiencing the beating of reality, they have lost the motivation to perceive beauty; After tasting the warmth and coldness of human affection, I lost my enthusiasm for treating each other sincerely.
The bitterness of the past is a foregone conclusion, no matter how dissatisfied we are, the wheels of time will not be reversed.
And this also indicates that from now on, every day you are a new student, and you have the opportunity to choose again.
This Spring Festival, say goodbye to things that have changed, and look forward to the surprises that are still on the way.
As long as you keep looking forward, there's nothing you can't get by.
Give it a thumbs up, may you cherish the present time of reunion, and then continue to set off with hope and courage.
Author: Insight Xu Chaodu.