When they are in love, the two have endless conversations, and they feel that life is happy and simple. But within a few years of getting married, it seems that the beauty of the past has disappeared.
The two always complain and blame each other. More seriously, from liking each other to getting tired of each other, talking less and less, until they are relatively speechless.
Is it marriage that changes love? Of course not. Marriage and love are essentially two different things.
In fact, calm down, both of them know that what makes marriage unrecognizable is bad management.
But it's the first time for everyone, how to manage a marriage? There is already a problem, how to mend the marriage?
In the book "Days are staggering, we are steady", Wu Jikang has created a handbook for young couples who have not been married long ago to regain high-quality intimate relationships.
On the one hand, the conflict between husband and wife is due to the difference between men and women.
Men are more rational, women are more emotional. Innate differences make it easy to miscommunicate.
So in life, two people often talk and talk and are not on the same channel.
For example, the man said that a relative from his mother came to stay at home for two days, and the woman said that you didn't discuss it with me, so why do you do whatever your mother says.
The man was angry, I told you before, you didn't object, don't be vexatious. The woman is sad, and you don't worry about my business at all.
Therefore, if there is a positive and effective communication between husband and wife, many problems will be solved.
Active communication requires a case-by-case approach, that is, putting aside the little monster of emotions and stating only one fact.
When people have bad feelings, their words will be prickly and prickly.
But if you take a deep breath and put your emotions at ease, you will feel different after saying the same thing.
For example, my husband thinks that my wife has been going to play with her girlfriends in the past few nights and came back so late. There is anger in my heart.
Chong wife said unhappily, you are so away from home every day, what are you doing when you come back!
Whoever listens to this will only add fuel to the fire, and a fight cannot be avoided.
However, it is not the same if you just describe the facts.
For example, in the same thing, the husband said to his wife, you came back a little late these days.
There is no emotional judgment in this sentence. After hearing this, the wife will not fight back, and may also think that she really came back late.
Active communication also entails expressing one's feelings and needs. In the words of one line, it is that if you don't say how I know.
Some people like to let the other person guess their mind. This is really a proposition.
The answer has already been given in the lyrics: Don't guess the girl's mind. I would say that the boy's mind could not have guessed.
Therefore, if there are any emotions, it is better to say them yourself, so that the other party can receive them accurately.
It is important to note here that emotions and thoughts are not the same.
For example, on my birthday today, you sent me a red envelope, and I don't understand romance at all.
It's the idea, and the emotion is: I'm a little disappointed that you didn't send me flowers.
A good marriage relationship requires not only active communication to "throttle", but also "open source" methods to fill the marriage account. Let's hold the cheats in hand, with sincerity, back to sweetness.