Last night, I suddenly dreamed about the scene I had before I was 10 years old: in the middle of the night, I was awakened by a nightmare, and I couldn't stop crying. Mom gently hugged me, pressed against my cheek, caressed my back, and murmured comfortingly: "Don't be afraid, Mom is here!" ”
It's been 14 years since my mother died.
5110 days and nights, I still dream of her often. When I was a child, the picture of living with her is still vivid, as if she had never left. In the 14 long years without her, it was my aunt who gave me a lot more maternal love instead of her. It's also my aunt, little by little, who pulled me back from an adolescent rebellious girl back to what I am now.
When I was a child, among the elders in the family, my cousin was most afraid of my aunt. My aunt is a Chinese teacher at our local middle school. Because my parents went out to work, my two older sisters and I lived with our grandparents since we were children. My aunt is the eldest, and my grandparents are old and can only take care of our diet and daily life, so my aunt took the initiative to take over the burden of educating and tutoring us for my brother and sister-in-law.
When I first entered elementary school, my grades were not very satisfactory, and I was very naughty and playful. After my aunt was busy with the work at hand, she rushed to my grandfather's house every night and gave me a "political lesson". When checking my homework, she said that my diary was like a running account and advised me to read more. Every time I come back, I almost always bring a book with me. She herself is an avid reader. Maybe because of her years of teaching, there is always something in her that is not angry and powerful, obviously she doesn't say anything serious, but every time, my uncompetitive tears always fall ......At this time, she always gently hugged me, sighing and gently wiping my ...... with a hot towel
When I was 10 years old, my mother never survived the disease and left me forever. During my mother's illness, the hospitalization cost was huge, and my father had to keep the small shop to make money to maintain, and my aunt has been doing her best to take care of my mother. The doctor persuaded me many times to let me go through the discharge and go home and grind slowly. This disease is a bottomless pit, and no matter how much money you have, you can't stand it. For more than ten years, my aunt, who is like a sister to my mother, knows very well that this kind of disease, people will eventually die of pain, and she can't bear my poor mother who married Hanzhong from Yunnan, and life is better than death at the last moment. She and the whole family scraped together and insisted on hospitalizing her mother**, which minimized her pain. At the last moment, Mom's expression was serene, and it seemed that she had just fallen asleep ......
That summer, my aunt traveled to major hospitals in Beijing and Hanzhong to seek medical treatment for her terminally ill mother, and spared no effort to win a glimmer of life for her mother. In order to be able to hang up the most authoritative and notoriously No. 1 expert number, she started queuing at 3 o'clock in the morning and waited at the gate of the hospital for a whole week; She inquired about a traditional Chinese medicine remedies, which were said to cure her mother's illness, and ran through the streets and alleys in the "steamer" at 40 degrees Celsius in Beijing on July before finally preparing those medicinal materials. It's a pity that when she rushed to the inpatient department sweating profusely, her mother was already unconscious, and she was ruthlessly issued a critical illness notice ......Before dying, my mother had a moment of sobriety. Looking at her grief-stricken relatives beside the bed, tears flashed in her withered eyes, and she said laboriously, "I won't be there anymore......."Xiaoyanmei helped me take care of Yaoyao's ......I don't have anything to worry about......”
may be because my mother was too kind and enthusiastic in her life, on the day of the cremation of her body, 50 miles away from her hometown, suddenly many villagers personally sent to the funeral home to worship. Temporarily changed the hall, my aunt was red and swollen, taking care of it inside and out, and greeted me thoughtfully. She improvised a farewell ceremony and soon wrote a eulogy for her father. With Dad's choked statement, many silently shed tears ......That day, my aunt hugged me tightly, cried and trembled down to the isolation room, and accompanied me to put my mother's ashes into ......the urn little by littleIn the bleak white daylight, he accompanied me again, holding the box all the way, from the funeral home to the cemetery ......I will never forget the words my aunt and I sobbed when she was in the gloomy isolation room and said, "A person your mother's age, now there are only a few ......ashes left."”
In the first year after my mom died, I was very rebellious and eccentric. After hearing a boy in the class openly laugh at me for "not having a mother", I began to disobey the words of the teacher's grandparents, stubbornly pouted, skipped class, ignored people, and suffered from insomnia all night. That year, my aunt sent some delicious food when she was free, and comforted and enlightened me: "You are the continuation of your mother's life in this world, you have to live a good life for her, and live a more wonderful life!" "She also took me to many places I wanted to visit, and invited her best and most eloquent friends to come to her house and chat with me many times. Slowly, I got back on track.
Looking back on the bits and pieces of my life from childhood to adulthood, my aunt actually witnessed all the important moments in my growing up. The only time I ever had chickenpox was on a cold autumn afternoon. The season changed, and my aunt took me and my cousin to Hanzhong again, planning to buy cotton clothes for the two of us. Walking down the street, she noticed that my face was not right, and she hurriedly checked and found that I was covered with red rashes all of a sudden. She immediately took off her coat and put it on for me, took a taxi to the central hospital for treatment, and stayed up all night for 3 days to guard me before I escaped.
In 2013, my aunt somehow learned that the Han Diao Inheritance and Development Center in Nanzheng District, Hanzhong City was going to recruit actors. Knowing that I was a child and loved literature and art, after consulting the opinions of the whole family, she and I began an intense and arduous journey to prepare for the war. For the syllabus, she gave full play to the innate advantages of the Chinese teacher and trained me to recite poems for two hours every day; invited a daughter from other places, the dance teacher, to come to her house to train Latin dance; After buying a lot of money, she accompanied me to the most famous musician in the town to help me correct my singing pronunciation ......
In the first trial and the semi-finals, I had to go through many rounds of rigorous screening, and my aunt put down everything and waited for me outside the court to cheer me on. In the final final, I will show off my last talent. In my crying original poetry recitation, I glimpsed that several female teachers in the judges' seat were wiping their eyes vigorously, and I myself had long been unable to cry. At the end of the game, my aunt rushed over and took me into her arms, and she said excitedly, "Today you are sure to do it, Yao'er!" When I went to the toilet just now, I heard two girls whispering that the poem that the girl wrote to her mother was so touching! I cried! Good seedlings, you have to stay! I knew I was talking about you! I wiped the tears from my eyes and nodded solemnly. And before that, in order to polish my mourning poem and rehearse it repeatedly, we had already stayed up a lot of boring and unbearable nights. The hard work paid off, and the results of the exam were very gratifying, and finally, I was honored to become a member of the National Intangible Cultural Heritage Inheritance and Development Center.
Almost every holiday, my aunt and my cousin would come to the school to visit me with a lot of delicious food and daily necessities that I needed, communicate with the teachers, and hope that I would improve every day. Every time I had a big performance, she would travel a long way to see my performance, and along the way, she would discuss with me every highlight and flaw ...... the performance
40 years old, but there are two 20-year-old girls living in my heart. My aunt is actually an old girl who loves beauty, and she also likes all kinds of beautiful bags and clothes, and she often doesn't think about tea and dinner for a few days because of a coat that she was reluctant to buy at the time. It is the deepest kindness in her heart that makes her omnipotent - whenever there is something wrong with relatives and friends, she is also like a "superwoman", always trying her best to help solve it. Therefore, in the circle of relatives in her family, she has a high prestige.
I have never formally said thank you to my aunt, for not being a mother, but for giving me more love than a mother for many years after her death; Thank you that she didn't abandon me when I was young, ignorant, and unobtrusive in saying things that hurt her, and playing a little temper with her; I would like to thank her for guiding education for ten years and accompanying me in my growth; Thank you for filling in all the ......images in my life that I should have a mother and my mother can never be seen again
My aunt is just the most ordinary and ordinary middle school Chinese teacher in the world, but my world is shining and wonderful because of her participation.
In this life, my cousins have always called you aunt, but I insist on calling you "aunt" ......
*: China Youth Daily client.