My wife, Xueying, and I met while working in a coastal city thousands of miles away from our hometown. As the familiarity grew, we were surprised to find out that she and I were not only fellow countrymen, but also from the same small town.
After about 10 months of dating, in 1992, before we went back to our hometown in the countryside for the Spring Festival, we agreed to meet each other's parents at the end of the year to discuss marriage.
I was very excited about this decision, not only because I was about to marry my wife, but also because I really liked Xueying and was very satisfied with her. She is a gentle, thrifty, sensible and good woman, and her appearance and figure make my heart move.
To be able to meet her and finally tie the knot with her is considered one of the luckiest things in my life.
However, what I didn't expect was that in the cold winter of 1992, although my body was not frozen, my heart was cold to the bone.
The reason is that Xueying's mother, after learning about my family's situation, almost did not hesitate to resolutely oppose marrying her family's youngest daughter to me. Xue Ying is the pearl of her palm.
In those years, our family was indeed very poor. In 1987, my father fell ill and was so bad that he almost couldn't get through it. Not only did the family deplete all their savings, but they also owed a lot of debts to their relatives and neighbors.
For quite some time, the people around me thought that my father was hopeless, and persuaded my mother to stop working hard for useless work, lest she end up with a lot of debts.
Because at that time, the doctor also said that the probability of success was extremely small.
However, the mother still chose to hold on. She wiped her tears and said: "Life is rare, he is still very young, no matter how difficult it is, my family has to fight." If not, that's his life, and I'm worthy of him. ”
The family even prepared a coffin when the mother borrowed money from around and asked the father to accept the final round of **.
Thankfully, my father survived, but our family has been in heavy debt ever since.
I couldn't go back to school, and after a while, in order to help my family pay off my debts, I followed my neighbors who were working outside the home to earn a living.
Although I was able to endure hardships and be thrifty, after three years of working for my family, I was only helping to pay off my debts, and I didn't have much savings.
By 1992, my hometown was still a dilapidated mud house, with only six rooms when the family was large.
After Xueying's mother learned about my family's situation, her resolute opposition made me feel a little inferior, embarrassed and sad, but I can also understand her position.
In 1992 and for the three or four years before, my family was poor in the neighborhood of my rural hometown.
At the beginning, I thought that my fate with Xueying had been broken, but I didn't expect Xueying to insist on being with me. Her insistence this time can be said to be the most rebellious she has in front of her parents.
Even when her mother threatened to sever the mother-daughter relationship, she did not change her mind and attitude.
This touched me very much and gave me more courage at the same time.
Xue Ying's mother's words and attitude originally hurt my self-esteem and my heart began to waver, but seeing that Xue Ying was not influenced by her family and disliked me, and even her attitude of continuing to be with me was so resolute, I felt guilty and deeply moved.
So, I cheekily cooperated with Xue Ying, and when I arrived at her house, I tried my best to show myself, and I didn't care about those harsh words with a smile.
Eventually, Xueying and I got married. It is said that her mother, who was my mother-in-law, had to accept the fact that we were married, but because of this, she was depressed for a while, and for a long time she was not energetic, and even her appetite was not good.
This made me feel uncomfortable in my heart, although I was secretly dissatisfied with this mother-in-law, but I was deeply moved by her later behavior, and I was even willing to treat her like a real mother.
Before the marriage, my mother-in-law was very dissatisfied with my family's poverty, and she tried her best to prevent her youngest daughter Xueying from marrying into my family.
However, when we entered into marriage, my mother-in-law never put on a face in front of me, and even because she understood the poverty of my family, she did not ask for too much dowry, but generously gave a large amount of dowry.
Although my mother-in-law's family was not a wealthy family at that time, it was better off than my family. After we got married, Xueying and I split up and got a few fields, two earthen houses, two porcelain bowls with notches, four pairs of rough chopsticks of uneven length, and a broken pot. Food is even more scarce.
Fortunately, the mother-in-law had already anticipated this situation, so the dowry they sent even included grain, bacon, dishes and chopsticks, pots and pans.
A year later, Xue Ying became pregnant. In order to save money, she decided to take a car back to her hometown in the countryside. Although Xueying has been living at her mother-in-law's house, her mother-in-law often sends food, vegetables, eggs and poultry to my house.
As childbirth approached, I was worried that my parents would not be able to take care of Xueying, considering that they were always busy with farm work. So, I returned to my hometown early to accompany Xueying. After learning about this situation, my mother-in-law comforted me and said that I was relieved to earn money outside, and she would temporarily put aside her farm work and come to my house to live for a period of time until Xueying gave birth and finished her confinement.
I felt so happy and grateful that I decided to send money to my mother-in-law to express my gratitude. However, she firmly refused my money and even returned it, adding some extra.
Many times after that, I went home with gifts and cash, but every time I got home, I found that my mother-in-law had secretly stuffed money in my pocket, sometimes even extra 100, 200 or 300 yuan.
Every time I see this money, I can't help but moisten my eyes when I think of my mother-in-law's attitude towards me and her dedication to our family.
I have deep admiration for her wisdom and maternal love, and I am grateful for her dedication. Although I understood that her actions were more for the sake of her daughter, and perhaps even entirely for her daughter, I was deeply grateful and felt that I owed her too much.
As time went on, as Xueying's son and I grew up, we decided to entrust the child to my father and mother to take care of the child while farming in my rural hometown. Of course, we give them financial support every month.
However, what we didn't expect was that my father and mother didn't take care of the children too carefully. They always focus on farm work and don't care too much about their children's studies and other aspects. As long as the children are well fed and clothed, they are satisfied.
In the second year after leaving our son in our rural hometown, Xueying and I returned to our rural hometown early to welcome the Spring Festival. Arriving home after dark, Xueying couldn't wait to ask about her son's whereabouts. The mother replied that her son had not yet returned home.
We thought our son was playing at a neighbor's house, but it wasn't until some time later that we found out that our son had been borweed in the field alone.
Seeing him bent over and panting home, his face covered in mud, with patches and even holes in his clothes and pants, Xueying and I became very uncomfortable, but it was not easy to say anything.
I didn't expect that my father and mother would be so reluctant to spend money, perhaps because they had experienced poverty before. We don't give them a lot of money every month, but they don't want to spend it.
What made Xue Ying even more sad was that that that night, my son sat next to us and kept scratching his head. Xueying asks what happened to her son? Later, we found out that he rarely washed his hair and bathed, had a lot of biting bugs on his head, and laid a lot of eggs in his son's hair.
After the Spring Festival, Xueying decided to give up working with me and chose to stay in her rural hometown to take care of her son, while working in farming and pig farming.
Well, there may be more expenses in the future. You Yong works alone to earn money, the pressure will be greater, and the husband and wife will also face problems when they live separately. Well, if you are at ease, give me my grandson. I have to take care of my granddaughters and grandchildren at home anyway, and two belts are also belts, and three is not too much.
Although I don't know how to learn, I can know a few words and can count them. When the grandson arrives at home, he will not be treated differently from the granddaughter and grandson. Your husband and wife can earn money outside for a few more years, and when the economic conditions are better and the children have grown up, Xueying can go back to her hometown to take care of the children and farm. If you have the conditions at that time, you can also consider taking your children to study in the city where you work. ”
Xueying and I are full of trust in my mother-in-law. After two days of consideration, we decided to ask my mother-in-law to help. In the future, we will send money to my mother-in-law's family on a regular basis.
For the next few years, our son did very well at his grandmother's house. In addition to taking care of the housework, the mother-in-law concentrates on taking care of the children, sparing no expense, and attaches great importance to the education and learning of the children.
This made Xueying and I feel very relieved when we were working in a foreign land. As time went on, our family finally built a new house, and life gradually improved.
When my son was in junior high school, I worked with a few friends on some construction projects. Through hard work and some luck, we made some money and ended up buying a house in town.
Life is getting better and better, and looking back, I often feel the strong support given by my mother-in-law's family in our most difficult times.
I was deeply grateful and moved, and I always wanted to repay my mother-in-law's family, but they didn't want to give me this opportunity.
Later, my father-in-law fell ill and passed away, and my family did their best to contribute money and efforts. Even though we have given a lot, I still feel that I owe too much to my mother-in-law's family.
When her mother-in-law was 75 years old, her physical condition gradually deteriorated and she needed to be taken care of around the clock. However, the eldest brother's family situation did not allow anyone to take care of his mother-in-law, so they decided to send her to a nursing home.
Xueying and I were also present at the time, and although my mother-in-law finally agreed to the decision, everyone noticed that she was not willing to go to a nursing home. She didn't want to drag down her family, so she silently accepted the arrangement.
That night, I lay on my mother-in-law's bed, feeling quite heavy and falling into a long period of thought. Although modern nursing homes provide professional and thoughtful care and are a good choice for the elderly, many elderly people still do not like it, perhaps because of the lack of family warmth and affection.
I suddenly thought of my mother-in-law's selfless help to our family before. Considering that Xueying is her biological daughter, and our family's conditions are also comfortable, why don't you consider taking your mother-in-law to our home for the elderly?
I told Xueying about this idea, and she was a little surprised when she heard it, but more than that, she was delighted. It turns out that she has this plan too, but she hasn't had time to propose it to me yet. She had been thinking about how to discuss this with me.
Early the next morning, my husband and wife proposed to my brother-in-law's family the idea of taking my mother-in-law to our house to live together. The family readily agreed, even though they felt a little embarrassed.
They promised to transfer us a sum of money every month, which was a kind of filial piety to the elderly. Although we didn't agree, my uncle insisted on doing it. In the end, we had no choice but to accept this filial piety, but left all the money to my mother-in-law, planning to return it to my eldest brother's family after a hundred years.
I am very happy to be able to bring my mother-in-law into my home, live with her, and take care of her as much as I can. Her kindness and support for us over the years has long made me consider her as my biological mother.
May my mother-in-law live a healthier and longer life, so that we can do our filial piety and bring her more warm companionship. She is worthy and we are lucky. List of high-quality authors