A friend on the platform asked: Is traditional family education really bad? So what about its flaws?
My answer to the previous question is that I can't simply deny it, because this form of family education has existed for more than 3,000 years, and it has contributed to the inheritance of Chinese culture. A form of education that has lasted for more than 3,000 years, and we are now concluding it with a simple "bad", which is not a scientific attitude, and it is also an injustice to traditional family education. Because under this form of education, the great men and celebrities who belong to that era have also come out, and the history of their time has been created;
As for the second question, from the perspective of the development of modern society, the defects of traditional family education are indeed extremely obvious, and if we do not adapt to the changes of the times, it will also become an obstacle to the progress of society. But this is not to say that we are rejecting traditional family education. There are some things in traditional family education that still have a practical role, and some things are even missing in modern family education.
Let's start with the first question: education, as a superstructure, is built on a certain economic foundation. Traditional family education, as an education model based on the traditional family, is a product of the feudal economy. Since the time of Confucius, there has been an educational concept of "parents travel not far away, and there must be a way to travel", which is an inevitable reflection of the economic form of that era. People live on the land, so naturally they can't stay away, not their parents who don't travel far away. However, in modern society, the commodities of subsistence are highly commoditized, and people are gradually moving away from the labor of obtaining the necessities of life from the land to using money to buy what they need in the shopping mall. In order to work and earn money, people have to stay away from home; If you don't have money, how can you buy the necessities of life? Therefore, in modern society, even if the parents are alive, people have to travel far away from home for the money to earn a living. This reveals the dilemma faced by traditional family education in modern society. It was built on the feudal economic form and was disconnected from the modern socio-economic base, which led to its inability to cope with the problems of modern society. And this is an important reason why we need to re-examine and adjust family education. On the basis of the existing situation, we can get a glimpse of the disadvantages of traditional family education, and its inadaptability in contemporary society is becoming more and more prominent, and even makes people feel that traditional family education has been disconnected from modern society.
1.Scores come first: In many families' educational concepts, scores are seen as the only measure of a child's worth. It's like the ancient scholars who pursued fame just to get ahead. This concept makes parents ignore their children's interests, personalities and potentials, and only focus on the ups and downs of scores, just as the ancients only looked at the glory of the title of the gold list. 2.Gender bias: Influenced by traditional attitudes, many family education still have gender discrimination. Parents tend to have higher expectations for boys and neglect for girls. It's like the patriarchy of women in ancient societies, where girls were unfairly treated as they grew up and didn't get the same opportunities and attention as boys. 3.Authority first: In traditional family education, the authority of parents is overemphasized, and children must obey unconditionally. This type of education deprives children of their voice, making it impossible for them to think independently and solve problems. This is like the concept of dignity and inferiority in ancient society, where the elders and the young are orderly, and the children must obey the arrangements of their elders and cannot challenge and question authority. It is precisely these erroneous traditional concepts of family education that have led to some erroneous family education behaviors in modern society. First of all, there is overprotection. Traditional family education often treats children as treasures, over-protective and restrictive, resulting in children losing their ability to be independent. There has been ** reported news: A mother tried her best to train her child to become a top student, and was finally admitted to Tsinghua University. However, the mother had to follow her child to Tsinghua University to accompany her, because the child's ability to take care of himself in addition to reading was almost zero. In the end, he was persuaded to quit by Tsinghua because he could not adapt to campus life. This typical case of overprotection is not unique in contemporary society. Second, homeschooling often ignores the importance of communication. Many parents and children are limited to academic performance and daily chores, lacking in-depth spiritual communication. In a recent trial case, a son who studied abroad killed his mother and hid in a freezer, does this tragedy also reflect the shortcomings of traditional family education? In addition, traditional family education places too much emphasis on punishment and ignores the positive role of praise and encouragement in children's development. The tragedies caused by such an approach to education are numerous. Not long ago, there was a distressing case of a mother physically punishing a child to the point of mutilation. There was also a father who was too strict with his children, which caused tension between father and son, and his children never came home after college. In the end, the father chose to end himself in endless remorse. With these examples, don't make friends misunderstand that the traditional family is so unbearable. In fact, there are also things that are lacking in modern society and must be respected in traditional family education, such as respecting the elders and caring for the young, family affection, etc., which still have their irreplaceable role in contemporary society; Another example is traditional family education, which focuses on cultivating self-discipline and a sense of responsibility, which are also necessary personal qualities for contemporary successful people. In addition to these, there are many other qualities that are necessary for contemporary society: for example, traditional family education focuses on cultivating children's good living habits, such as healthy diet, regular work and rest, cleanliness and hygiene, etc.; Another example is traditional family education, which focuses on inheriting the culture, history and traditions of the family and country, and cultivating children's cultural literacy and feelings for the family and country. And so on and so forth, are concepts that should be cherished and respected in contemporary society.
In short, there are still many things worth learning and learning from in contemporary society. It is not right to accept it completely and reject it completely, and we should take the essence of it, remove the dross, and treat it with an attitude of exaltation and rejection. Just like winemaking, sweet sake can only be made if it is carefully selected and brewed. Therefore, while retaining its excellent traditions, we should overcome its outdated and negative parts, so that family education can radiate new vitality and vitality in the context of the new era.
In modern society, although social education is relatively developed, the importance of family education is still irreplaceable. In order to provide some useful reference for friends, I have compiled several methods and strategies of family education in modern society for my friends' reference.
1. Parents should establish a correct concept of education. Abandon outdated concepts such as the supremacy of scores and preference for sons, and focus on children's interests, strengths and personalities with all-round development. In this way, children can freely gallop on the path of diversified and personalized growth. 2. It is important to cultivate children's independence. Parents need to let go moderately, so that children can learn to think independently and make decisions when facing problems. In this way, children will be better able to cope with challenges in their future lives and stand independently and confidently in society. 3. It is also indispensable to strengthen the communication of family education. Parents should establish a good communication mechanism with their children, listen to their voices, and pay attention to their emotional needs. On the basis of mutual respect and equal communication, a close parent-child relationship is formed, and we can grow and progress together. 4. Motivational education is an effective way to promote children's growth. Parents should give their children more praise and encouragement to stimulate their inner potential. In a positive family atmosphere, children will be more confident and brave to meet life's challenges and shine with their own brilliance.