Hotspot Engine ProgramRecently, I saw Dong Yuhui's **, he said: "Growing up is lonely and painful, if you are not happy, it means that you have been growing!" ”
I'm sure most of us have experienced or are experiencing painful or unhappy days at one time or another.
Those loneliness in the dark, the sadness that no one tells about, and the pain hidden in the bottom of the heart......
In fact, most people will get through it, and after getting through it, you will always understand some truths, those things that no one can teach you, those things that can only be understood by yourself.
Therefore, the price of growth is to constantly experience pain and keep giving up happiness.
The role of pain in life
Psychologist Erikson divides a person's life into 8 stagesEach stage has a different mission and task, and if you successfully complete the tasks of each stage, your personality will become more and more complete.
If you take a closer look at these 8 stages, each stage of growth is accompanied by physical, mental, and external changes.
As we get older, our sense of self grows strongerThe more you get in touch with the world, the stronger your desire to grow will be.
The desire to grow here includes your desire to gain the respect of others, your desire to find like-minded friends, the desire to realize your life value, and even the desire to find the meaning of your coming into this world.
Therefore, under the urging of the desire to grow, we will do many things, such as studying seriously, taking the college entrance examination, taking the postgraduate entrance examination, falling in love, making friends, finding a job, starting a business, etc., and the desire is externalized into a real experience.
And not all of these experiences have been smooth sailing. Some experiences or outcomes that are different from what you once thought can lead to painful emotional experiences.
And the pain is because you have to let go of it when you are growing up"Something that was once thought to be right"., maybe it's a cognition, maybe it's a pattern of behavior, or even a person.
But at the end of the day, you have a strong desire to grow and you want to make yourself better.
Why does pain lead to growth?
Last year I met a sister of '92, who is a teacher at school, has a very regular life, and has a boyfriend who has been talking for 5 years.
This sister's family background is ordinary, and the man's local family conditions are very good, the relationship between the two is not bad, and they are ready to get engaged on last year's National Day.
But a few days before the engagement, the man's parents objected and disliked the woman's average family backgroundIn the end, not only was the marriage not engaged, but the two also broke up because of a big fight.
The sister said that she was very miserable in the past two months, and she wanted to give up completely, and at the same time wanted to contact the boy, and it was difficult to let go of the 5-year relationship.
That's itRepeated struggles and pains, she began to get into psychology, to redeem herself and to re-examine her life.
Later, when I contacted her again, she said that she gradually came out of the pain, and felt the charm of psychology more and more, opening another door in life for herself.
She plans to take the master's degree in psychology at East China Normal University, and wants to be a psychological counselor in the future and try more different lives.
Pain will bring people to reflection, and once people start to reflect, they will become rational and sober, they will re-examine their thoughts and desires, and they will slowly find a path more suitable for themselves in the extremely dark environment.
Turn your pain into motivation to move forward
Everything in the world can be viewed dialectically, and suffering is no exception. It brings us not only disappointment and sadness, but also opportunity and motivation.
I remember when I was a freshman, I was very unconfident, prone to stage fright, and blushing in front of public.
I want to run for election but I don't dare to speak on stage, I want to join the student council but I don't dare to participate in the on-site interview.
Watching my peers talk eloquently, I fell into severe self-doubt and pain.
And it was this pain that made me reflect:
Why am I not confident? Why wouldn't I dare?
Because before that, I was immersed in my studies in high school and junior high school, and I didn't participate in any club activities, let alone run for election or interview. So I had to be brave enough to take the first step.
So, I joined the speech club, and the seniors took mePractice your speech by the lake in the park, in the classroom, on the bus, in front of strangers.
After a semester, I didn't have the slightest stage fright when I spoke in front of everyoneParticipated in the speech contest and even won the runner-up.
Once, as a class representative, he took the stage to express his views in an ideological and political class of nearly 100 people, for about 20 minutes, without any stage fright.
At that moment, I knew that the pain that had caused me was no more.
As stated in the Book of Proverbs, suffering is the great teacher of mankind. The soul grows stronger and stronger under the breath of pain.
When you're facing pain, it's okay to be sad and sad, but don't forget that pain can also motivate you to move forward.
When I'm in pain, think about whether I'm going to grow again.
Write at the end
People will experience pain throughout their lives, but they can be big or small, which is the law of nature for thousands of years.
From ancient times to the present, from nature to human society, evolution has been painfulEvolution cannot be completed without suffering, let alone the continuation of life.
Anyone wants to live a happy, happy, and prosperous life, but the reality is unlikely.
As the saying goes, every family has a scripture that is difficult to read, and since it cannot be avoided, then we face it like warriors. Pain is like a paper tiger, when you are strong, it is weak.
Nawal saidThe true history of life is actually a collection of pain endured throughout a lifetime. If you have to face your true self before you die and look back on the meaningful things you have done in this life, then you will remember the sacrifices you have made and the challenges you have faced.
Share. 
end...