There are two famous "fairy couples" in the literary circle: one is Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang; The other pair is Wang Xiaobo and Li Yinhe. If the love between Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang is a trickle, then the love story of Wang Xiaobo and Li Yinhe is a little more lively and interesting. There is such a story about the love between Wang Xiaobo and Li Yinhe: When Li Yinhe met Wang Xiaobo for the first time, there were only three words in his mind - ugly! But Wang Xiaobo fell in love with Li Yinhe at first sight. When the two met for the second time, Wang Xiaobo asked Li Yinhe: Do you have a boyfriend? Li Yinhe said: No. Wang Xiaobo continued to ask: What do you think of me? "Ugly! Since then, Wang Xiaobo has launched an offensive against Li Yinhe. And in that era of "once upon a time", these offensives turned into one love letter after another, and many love letters were included in "Loving You Like Loving Life". "Loving You is Like Loving Life" is the most comprehensive epistolary work co-authored by Wang Xiaobo and Li Yinhe. Compared with the words and sentences of ** and essays, these undisguised and heartfelt letters let us read a more real Wang Xiaobo. Speaking of Wang Xiaobo, Zixin doesn't need to introduce more. As a maverick writer, his works have been hailed as "the most beautiful harvest in China's contemporary literary world", and even triggered the cultural phenomenon of "Wang Xiaobo fever". Now, I will come with you to see Wang Xiaobosa's wave." 
01. Test whether you love someoneIt depends on whether you have the desire to shareWang Xiaobo wrote many, many love letters to Li Yinhe. In 1978, Li Yinhe went to the south for a meeting, and Wang Xiaobo, who was still working as a worker in a street factory in Beijing's Xicheng District, could not see her, so he could only write letters day by day. Write too much, and he will say "I swear, I won't write to you again if you don't come back." Absolutely not written. Do not write. But soon it was "really fragrant", and the next letter came as scheduled, and Wang Xiaobo said, "I went back on my word and came to write to you again." And the reason why he writes to Li Yinhe so frequently is naturally because of his hot love for Li Yinhe, and this love has reached the point of "I just want to talk to you about those words". Just like Wang Xiaobo said in the letter: I have now developed a habit of saying a few words to you every two or three days that I don't want to say to others. Yes, that's love! So when did you find out that love was coming? In Zixin's view, it is a time when you have a lot of things that you don't want to say to others, but you will say them to another person in one go. And this is precisely the indispensable factor in a harmonious relationship. On the other hand, in many family mediation programs now, many wives are complaining that after their husbands come home from work at night, they only think about playing games and swiping their mobile phones, and they will not take the initiative to communicate and talk. When Cupid's arrow hits two people, we always have a lot of desire to share, but as the passion retreats, the desire to share plummets. When the day no longer shared, the relationship became flat and even shaky. I thought to myself, learning to maintain the desire to share with the other half is the greatest respect for the relationship between the two. 
02. The right person will make you better
When Wang Xiaobo and Li Yinhe met, there was a huge gap in their identities. But because of love at first sight with Li Yinhe, Wang Xiaobo wrote in the letter: I will try all the roads until you say, 'Forget it, Mr. Wang, you can't succeed'. I feel very hopeful, because I know you, I should have grown a little bit. "I'm going to show you my heart in the future. Why the future? Ah, I'm better off in the future than I am now, I'm sure of that. ”Because he met Li Yinhe, Wang Xiaobo firmly believes that he will become better. This made me think that someone on the Internet asked: Why can't I always meet a high-quality partner? Some other netizens said, don't rush to meet a high-quality object first, make yourself excellent first, and then you will meet the matching other party. But in Zixin's opinion, there may be another answer to this question - when you meet the right person, the other person will naturally make you better. And if he loves you enough, he will continue to make himself grow. Because love is about living with the person who can make you better. It's not the key to making a person good, it's about getting better. Good love can make a person. Bad love makes people turn from sharp to dull, from brave to submissive, from positive to depraved, and even ruins a person's potential to become a better being. So, when you meet someone who makes you better, then there is a high probability that he is the right person. 
03, love without responsibility is "hooligan".
I can't agree that there is no responsibility in love. I'm certainly against it becoming a shackle, and I can't agree that it's a banquet. This is one of the sentences in Wang Xiaobo's love letter to Li Yinhe. In Wang Xiaobo's view, love is not only pleasure, nor only responsibility, but a combination of the two. I deeply agree with this, and even feel that pleasure and responsibility are indispensable. Zixin has a female friend Xiaoxi by her side, because she is older and unmarried, she and her family are very anxious. Later, they went on a blind date with a boy, and the two fell in love, and the two soon entered the marriage hall. But after getting married, Xiaoxi found that she was not very happy every day. Because she hasn't enjoyed the joy of love much, she has been overwhelmed by one post-marriage responsibility after another. She and her husband talk about firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea every day, and they don't talk about anything about the wind and snow. When love is full of responsibility, the relationship is very tight. On the contrary, if love is full of joy and there is no responsibility, there may be a situation where the relationship ends without a problem or has extraneous branches. Love and responsibility should stand at opposite ends of the scales and maintain a balanced relationship. Love is a responsibility, but it is not exactly a responsibility, and there is a sense of happiness in the responsibility itself. When only responsibility remains, it is not love, and when responsibility is forgotten, it is negative. 
True love is that you are happy
Wang Xiaobo has been waiting for Li Yinhe, who is busy with his career, to come back for a long time, so he will repeatedly ask Li Yinhe in his letters when he will come back. But before Li Yinhe could reply, Wang Xiaobo would think that Li Yinhe hadn't come back yet, and it seemed that something had happened to her. It's very cute that Wang Xiaobo thought that maybe Li Yinhe was going to play in the mountains and rivers? Then he said to himself, "Great! Have fun, I hope you have a good time. I also hope that on the days of her travel, the weather will not be too hot, and it will not rain or blow strong winds. Seeing this, my heart feels very warm, this kind of "you are happy, I am happy" love is the real love. However, now there are many social news cases where girls mention breaking up, but boys do not agree, but instead do violent acts such as beating and scolding, hurting others. There was also news that the boy gave a bunch of gifts, and the girl didn't appreciate it and threw the gifts out of the door. This kind of love is extremely narrow, they are all self-pleasing, and they don't have the slightest idea that the other party is happy and I am happy. And this is not true love. There is a saying: liking and loving are not the same, if you like a flower, you will pluck it. If you love a flower, you will water it. If you truly love someone, you can't be selfish. Only a taste of liking will make you selfish. 
05, good love,Ideologically, it should be "the right person".
In a letter written by Li Yinhe to Wang Xiaobo, Li Yinhe mentioned that Wang Xiaobo said that he didn't like other girls after he got to know them, and Li Yinhe said that she was the same, and after learning about other boys, he felt that they were not interesting, and soon bottomed out. She wrote to Wang Xiaobo: There is a spring in your heart, isn't it? It never runs out, never. We respect each other, we love each other, our souls are intertwined, we come together to feel the "beauty" in the world, we give each other "goodness", we also give beauty and kindness to others, we love our fellow kind, sympathize with them, worry for them, sing for them. Seeing this, I understand why Wang Xiaobo and Li Yinhe, who have such a big gap in status, can enter the marriage hall together and harvest a happy marriage. Because their minds are compatible. Nowadays, we always talk about the need for two people to be the right person in marriage, but many people just use the reality to measure whether two people are compatible. However, many people from well-to-do families get married, but their marriages break down. Just like Tingting, who I know next to me, a year after marrying her ex-husband, she ended in a hasty divorce because the two had incompatible temperaments and couldn't talk about going together. Therefore, in Zixin's view, the ideological "right match" should be more important. As Charles Dickens said, there is no difference in marriage that outweighs the difference in thought and belief. Only by matching ideas can we get a happy future for the two. There is a saying: There are three things that people cannot hide, cough, poverty and love, and the more you want to hide it, the more you want to cover it up. There is also the saying that true, eternal, and highest happiness can only be obtained from three things: work, self-restraint, and love. So what a blessing it is if you can meet love. Our lives are short, so be bold. Love someone, climb a mountain, chase a dream. May you meet the right person and compose a song with him that will never be finished.
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