As I get older, I feel more and more important, rare and difficult to be an emotionally stable person. The emotional stability I understand is probably what Fan Zhongyan said, "Don't be happy with things, don't be sad with yourself".
It is estimated that no one would have thought that on the occasion of the family reunion, during the Spring Festival in 2024, there will be a hot search word, called New Year's quarrel. That's right, I was also recruited, maybe I was aggrieved for a long time, and finally the day before I left home, I had a big fight with my mother. In fact, if you think about it carefully, no matter how big the contradiction is, it is nothing more than the accumulation of trivial things, and the psychological imbalance caused by the small belly and chicken intestines, a small thing can lead to a big war.
Afterwards, I thought about it, maybe everyone usually has accumulated some resentment, and after a long time of swallowing anger and complaining, it will eventually usher in a quarrel and war, and all the grievances and anger are aimed at the people closest to them.
I think that in a harmonious family, there must be an emotionally stable person to preside over the overall situation, have a certain emotional intelligence, and be generous enough to accommodate the shortcomings of the people around him, and also appreciate and exaggerate the advantages of the people around him; Able to accept the shortcomings of their own abilities, and can also listen carefully to the suggestions of those around them, and make corrections in time.
However, if you think about it, whether it is relatives and friends who are often in contact, colleagues and passers-by around you, there are actually only a handful of people who can achieve emotional stability.
At a business promotion meeting a year ago, I was deeply impressed by the stability of a customer's proprietress at the same table. At the time, she was accompanied by a daughter who was about 8 years old and a son who was 2 and a half years old. During the meal, the youngest son will inevitably make a fuss, one will be held by his mother, one will come down and walk around, one will eat this, one will not eat that, although it will not make a lot of noise, but it will hardly stop. This mother, from beginning to end, has been responding softly, always smiling, eating a meal, in fact, she didn't eat anything at all, but she has never had a trace of impatience, let alone a little scolding. Maybe it's because of the influence of her mother for a long time, her daughter has always been quiet, and she takes the initiative to take care of her younger brother from time to time, and she is also very patient.
One of the celebrities I follow --- awakened mother Ahe, who is also a particularly emotionally stable person, soft-spoken, looking gentle and gentle, but it does not affect her domineering at all.
I thought, with such a mother, their family atmosphere must be great. Now, once I find that I am emotionally unstable, if there is an argument or a tantrum, I will flash their figure in my mind, and then tell myself: stabilize your emotions, stabilize your emotions! Invisibly, the number of tantrums has been significantly reduced.
The rapid development of society and the frequent hot searches of short ** have accelerated the rhythm of people's lives. Working day after day, without enough psychological sustenance or faith to support, I was terrified to find that I was developing into a resentful woman at a speed visible to the naked eye! What a terrible fact this is! Who would have imagined that I was still a so-called good-natured person in the eyes of outsiders!
If you can't change the world, then start by changing yourself, after getting home from work, try to put down your mobile phone, pick up the long-lost books, read and write with your children, grow together, and be an emotionally stable person!