Women who really live their lives easily will never be aggrieved by this little thing

Mondo Psychological Updated on 2024-02-11

Have you ever had such an experience?

Even though the whole day seemed to be idle, I still felt physically and mentally exhausted.

As soon as I woke up in the morning, I felt that my body was moving forward with a weight, without vitality and vitality.

Perhaps, you are in a kind of "tired" predicament.

Ignoring your inner needs and suppressing yourself day in and day out will not only trap you in a whirlpool of inner energy depletion, but also lead you to a state of fatigue that you can't get rid of.

Even though the body is still like a sculpture, the mind is as chaotic as paste.

However, women who live with ease seem to have a high level of concern and respect for their own feelings.

They deeply understand that in this complicated world, no one will come to fulfill her wishes through the fog, and the scenery they love can only be pursued and appreciated by themselves.

Therefore, putting yourself in a comfortable state is the most important thing in living in this world.

You are tired because you can't see yourself

In the TV series "News Queen", Xu Xiaowei is a dazzling anchor on the surface, but behind the gorgeous aura, she silently suffers from deep depression.

* The root cause of this is that she has never been able to face herself. At the command of her boss, like the direction of a baton, she rushed without hesitation; Any need of her boyfriend has become a guide for her actions, and she has never seriously thought about her own wishes and needs.

In the workplace, Xu Xiaowei not only plays the role of an anchor excellently, but also an indispensable right-hand man by the boss's side. Whether it's booking a restaurant, buying coffee, or carrying luggage, as long as it is an instruction from her boss, she strictly implements it, even if she is full of grievances in her heart, she just chooses to bear it silently.

In life, she tried her best to maintain the image of her girlfriend, and even went against her heart to meet her boyfriend's needs. Even though these actions could harm her team and make it difficult for her to look up in front of others, she still chose to compromise.

In this way, the accumulated contradictions and conflicts fermented in the depths of her heart, and finally turned into a haze of insomnia and depression. What is even more sad is that in this series of concessions and compromises, she gradually became the most humble victim, which makes people sigh.

Perhaps the deepest fatigue in the long journey of life does not come from how many complicated things must be done, but from the neglect and alienation of the true needs of one's heart.

We often act in order to cater to the preferences of others, setting the trajectory of our lives according to the expectations of others.

In the short term, such a compromise may not be a big deal, but over time, the haze of self-denial and self-doubt will creep in. You will be trapped in an endless whirlpool of internal friction and unable to extricate yourself.

What's even more worrying is that excessive tolerance will make people see you as a soft persimmon that can be manipulated at will, and unprincipled regression may make you the first object to be abandoned in the eyes of others. They know that even if they anger you, it won't cause substantial damage.

In the work "Human Disqualification", Osamu Dazai once expressed a deep emotion: "Excessive enthusiasm often increases the risk of not being valued. ”

When that moment comes, you will lose not only your own feelings, but also an important weight in your relationship, which will make it difficult for you to move forward in future interpersonal interactions.

Therefore, we should treat others with kindness, but we do not have to be bent to welcome them;Treat yourself with strict self-discipline, but you don't need to be demanding.

Only in this way can you get rid of that heavy exhaustion in your life and live your true self.

The real relaxation is to make yourself comfortable

In order to truly relax and soothe yourself, there is no better way to follow your inner feelings, not to force yourself or to meet others, so that life can return to natural harmony and calmness.

Recently, Li Xueqin's emotional experience touched me deeply. She had loved someone so deeply that in her heart it seemed that he was the only one in the world who shone brightest, and even if it took all her strength, she had to hold on to this feeling.

When the guy said to her, "If you can lose weight, we'll be together." This sentence filled her with joy like a spell, and from that moment on, she began a painstaking ** journey.

Although she has achieved remarkable results on the road to **, she never seems to be able to meet the ideal slimming standard in the other party's mind.

At a dinner party, the boy easily hugged her friend, and this scene made her feel a sour feeling in her heart. She mustered up the courage to ask the boy when she would be able to hug herThe boy's answer was: "Wait until you lose 100 pounds." ”

For Li Xueqin, who is 167 cm tall and easy to gain weight, this number is undoubtedly a desperate declaration. This invisible thorn has since pierced deep into her heart and changed her attitude towards life.

She began to resist any kind of hug, even a brief hug in a social setting out of courtesy, which made her tremble for a long time.

She gradually believes that because of her body problem, she has lost the value of being loved, and this perception keeps her in a state of high tension in social situations.

Until one day, in a show, she accidentally cut her finger, but a woman who seemed to be weak and weighed less than 100 pounds ran over without hesitation and hugged her tightly in her arms to comfort her.

At this moment, she suddenly realized that even if she was a little plump and imperfect, there were still people who were willing to accept and like the real her.

From that day on, she began to try to show her true self in social situations. Surprisingly, when she unloaded her guard and calmly faced the world, she gained the sincere love and appreciation of many people. And she gradually discovered that facing the deep emotions in her heart turned out to be such a happy thing.

In fact, in life, we have all been like Li Xueqin, in order to cater to the eyes of others, we have worked hard to change ourselves, so that we are always in a state of tension, thus losing a lot of joy and comfort in life.

However, life could be simpler. Following our inner feelings can often lead us to a better place.

For those relationships that make you uncomfortable, be brave enough to give them up; For those places that make you feel constrained, stay away decisively. When the state of mind is relaxed, the state will naturally relax, and once you enter this relaxed and comfortable state, you will find that good things will follow.

After all, you're the one who knows yourself the most, and knows when to laugh, when to cry, when to be comfortable, and when to suffer. Only by staying true to yourself can you truly embrace the beauty of life.

No one will come here for you, and you have to see the scenery you like

At some point in our lives, we have more or less pinned our hopes of happiness on the strength of others, dreaming of princely salvation to lead us out of our troubles, and expecting noble people to help us get out of the quagmire of life.

However, with the baptism of the years, we have come to realize more and more that there is no one in this world who can step on the fog to relieve you, and those fascinating scenery need to be explored and appreciated by themselves after all.

Recently, the School of Design of the University of Pennsylvania in the United States released a striking news on its official **: it was decided to posthumously award Ms. Lin Huiyin, an outstanding architect in modern China, with an architectural degree.

While Ms. Lam's outstanding contributions and achievements are far beyond the measurable of any academic title, this belated recognition is a tribute to her tireless efforts and perseverance in the field of architecture.

Dating back to the days when she traveled overseas with her father, Lin Huiyin was deeply attracted by the charm of architecture. At that time, the Department of Architecture at the University of Pennsylvania was well-known and produced countless industry elites.

Lin Huiyin decided at a glance that this would be her ideal palace of knowledge. However, due to the limitations of the times, the path for women in this professional field was particularly bumpy, and even in the face of gender bias, Penn's Department of Architecture rejected her application. Despite her father's efforts to get her a chance, the school's attitude remained steadfast.

When the voices around her persuaded her to choose a smoother and easier path, Lin Huiyin showed extraordinary determination and courage.

She resolutely chose to study art at the same time as in-depth study of architecture. Although she knew that she would not be able to obtain a formal degree certificate, she still did her best, took all the courses she could, and accumulated all the credits she could.

Lin Huiyin's choice not only transcends the shackles of the times in which she lives, but also strongly proves that women can also shine brightly in the field of architecture.

After returning to China, she joined hands with Liang Sicheng to set foot in the vast half of the land of China, jointly restored many precious ancient buildings, and created a legendary chapter belonging to her with firm determination and outstanding strength.

In society's expectations, women are often given the role of concession and compromise, which seems to have become a convention. No one will criticize you for your indecision, no one will blame you for not doing your best, because this seems to be the world's default interpretation of femininity and tolerance.

However, only you know deeply where the soul belongs, and what kind of lifestyle can be worthy of the transience and preciousness of this life.

If possible, please do your best, even in the face of the confusion of others, even if you do not get the approval of the outside world, as long as it is the path you have identified, you must do your best.

A woman's growth process is like a tenacious journey through countless storms. But remember, not wronging oneself and being honest with oneself is the most comfortable and free attitude towards life.

In this way, no matter how many baptisms of wind and rain you experience, you can bloom the brightest light of life.

A woman, if she wants to pursue a leisurely life, must not only treat herself well in material life, but also not owe herself in the spiritual world and not suppress her inner emotional appeals.

She knows how to deeply understand her own emotional context, respect every choice that comes from her heart, and unswervingly stick to her life trajectory.

Although the road ahead may be faltering, her posture will be calmed by this tenacity, and her inner core will become more solid and stable.

Even in the face of physical exhaustion and difficulty, that vivid and charming temperament is like a shadow, shining brightly, because she is doing her best to love that unique self.

Here, let us reminisce about Mr. Yang Jiang's words of wisdom, and hope that you can deeply understand and cherish yourself: "I am not the eight-sided exquisite person who can please the people of the world, but I am willing to guard a quiet fireworks, be alone and safe, and everything coexist in harmony." ”

With words as the boat, ** as a companion, flowers and shallow grass as the lining, warm and pure as the soul, I hope that every one of you can become a beam of warm sun, neither humble nor arrogant, clear and kind, illuminate others, but also shine yourself.

Please light up the end of the article [Follow], may you become your most sincere friend, think bravely, actively explore, and forge ahead.

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