What does a good marriage, family and mental health look like?
You often hear the expression that love is very sweet in the stage of falling in love, but once you enter into marriage, there is a saying that marriage is the grave of love. After entering marriage, love becomes weaker or tasteless. So do all people introduce their love into marriage? Or when they bring their love into marriage, that love will disappear and cease to exist. Surely this is not the case, then we will see a lot of people, after they have been married for many years, love does not change color at all, so what does a good and healthy marriage look like?
There is a saying that should be true: love is an ideal, marriage is a reality. Compared to romantic love, marriage is not only "worldly" but also "trivial". This is also the reason why many young people feel very uncomfortable when they enter into marriage. Modern marriage is the result of the development of human civilization, and this system ensures the relatively healthy development of human society, women's rights and interests will be protected to a certain extent in marriage, and children will be cared for and nurtured by their parents as much as possible during their growth period.
But there are positives and negatives to everything, and compared to singleness, marriage means responsibility, bondage, giving and giving, and of course, a certain loss of freedom. So, for those unhappy couples, marriage is a siege.
In order for the two to get along for a long time, husband and wife should be able to know each other's temper and character, communicate each other's psychological needs, understand their respective life goals, coordinate with each other, and establish common life rules and habits. Husband and wife are like human hands, the left hand and the right hand should be able to assist each other and act in harmony to maximize their function. Otherwise, the relationship between the two will be painful and difficult. Of course, it is impossible for newlyweds to establish such a harmonious partnership right away, and they need to rely on the tempering and testing of time, and slowly experience and learn the essentials of interaction from repeated attempts. It takes years, or even decades, for many couples to develop a stable and satisfying partnership.
Everyone wants to do things according to their own thoughts and wills. This is the need for autonomy. Everyone wants to express themselves in front of others, give full play to their talents as much as possible, use their wisdom to create considerable fruits of labor, and satisfy their performance psychology. Husbands and wives should often use words or actions to delight, amaze, fascinate each other, and thus praise themselves.
When my lover is not happy, I always want to find someone to talk to, and I will vomit it as soon as possible. The object of this catharsis is, of course, their lover, and both husband and wife regard each other as the best object of catharsis. Therefore, neither party should blame the other party for being narrow-minded or nagging. Instead, we should take the initiative to accept the other party's catharsis, and further persuade and guide them to relieve their inner pain, so that the other party can be freed from their inner contradictions and establish a new psychological balance. In this way, the inner pain will disappear and the relationship between husband and wife will be further strengthened.
You can share each other's happiness and share each other's pain. You can share each other's preferences, humor, longings, and ideals, as well as share each other's frustration, loss, sadness, and helplessness. The responsibilities, burdens, obligations and those firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea in marriage need to be borne by each other.
From falling in love, getting married, having children, middle and late marriage, to the separation and independence of children, including retirement and widowhood, there are different psychological issues to face. How to deal with different encounters and solve different problems at different stages of marriage development is a series of adaptations. Timely adjustment can go all the way smoothly and complete the journey of the whole marriage.
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