The important advice given to parents by mothers of prestigious schools involves three aspects of family education
A mom from a prestigious school gives advice to parents on 3 important aspects of homeschooling that are often overlooked.
Pursuing important goals and getting into prestigious universities seems to be what many parents expect from their children. Many of them do this because they themselves are not studying hard and are having a hard time now, so they don't want to see their children in the same situation.
There is a growing recognition that academic success is not only determined by talent, but also by acquired circumstances. Expecting children to succeed in the face of adversity may seem a bit idealistic for parents with limited education and just a hobby. Now, let's take a look at how a mother educates her son to get into a prestigious school.
A mother at BYD University admits that there are three basic aspects of family education that are often overlooked. A friend of mine didn't have much education, but he got into the habit of reading after he got married. When asked why, he confessed:"I had to have the qualities I wanted my child to have, so I first developed the habit of reading"。
It must be recognized that this generation has a significantly increased sense of parental responsibility. However,"Post-80s"with"Post-90s"of parents often face a great paradox: they may not have been well homeed when they were young, but they can't start changing from their own generation.
A woman who graduated from Bea University and is also a mother shares some extraordinary, but often overlooked, ways to care. Maybe we can learn something from them.
First, develop good interpersonal skills. The most common misconception that parents fall into is that interpersonal relationships in school are very simple, and students only need to go to school and do their homework. In fact, even kindergarten students can be victims of bullying or isolation because of their family background and personality. We don't have to deliberately make the next generation feel comfortable in interpersonal interactions, but we should at least focus on how they get along with their classmates and teachers, and give them the right guidance.
The second aspect is the concept of money and planning. Ordinary parents tend to fall into two extremes: on the one hand, in order to nurture students"Self-confidence", blindly buying items that students like; On the other hand, the repeated emphasis on family poverty leads to students' low self-esteem.
It is a good teaching method for students to understand how to make rational use of limited resources. For example, when a student at home was in elementary school, a mother gave him a certain amount of pocket money every month to decide how to distribute it himself, and had regular discussions to ensure that the distribution was reasonable.
Of course, in this process, students and parents may disagree on how to use this fund, and parents should guide them within the appropriate scope. If a student buys a gift of Netflix with their pocket money, they need to be stopped in time. However, if it is used to purchase items that match the interests of students, it does not have to be too strict.
The third point is to train students to learn"Self-love"Only with this ability can we better cope with the difficulties and setbacks in life. Some parents in China tend to think that only"Discipline"with"Criticism"in order to let the child grow.
In fact, many people lose the ability to love themselves in such an environment, which will bring disadvantages to the future. When a student behaves poorly or has a conflict with his classmates, parents should start by understanding the facts and reasons instead of disliking the student.
In this regard, Li Xueqin also shared a typical example. She did not do well in her exams in her final year of high school and was under a lot of pressure. However, her mother took the initiative to let her out and take her to a barbecue.
Unconditional love for children and strict requirements for parents are not opposites, do not confuse them. Wu Zhihong, an education expert, once said that a person's motivation in life does not come from the fear of failure, but from the yearning for beautiful things. However, in the home environment and in the school nurturing model, it is often preferred to force students to work hard, emphasizing"Consequences", rather than encouraging students to aspire to something beautiful.
At first, some results can be seen, but over time, potential risks also emerge. Education is not just a matter of grades, otherwise there would not be so many people who graduated from school but could not adapt to society.
It is not a simple matter to educate children to learn to handle money and relationships correctly and to love themselves firmly. The first condition is that parents must have a broad mind and ability.
This kind"Unconditional love"It is not measured in terms of tangible results and benefits to future generations, which in itself is not something that all parents and teachers can do.
Some parents may be confused and worried that they will spoil their children too much, and only comfort and encourage them without criticizing. Actually, this does not contradict a firm upbringing, but it is just easy to confuse.
Take grades, for example, what we say"Unconditional support"It refers to being able to accept the reality that students are not as talented as the top students after seeing them study hard. Students need to study hard and not waste time, which is the bottom line of home education and a clear standard for home education.
Some parents are dissatisfied with their students' progress, no matter how hard they try. They firmly believe that as long as they continue to push their students, they will be able to expand their progress. This approach is clearly unrealistic and lacks empathy for children.
When it comes to educating their children, the educational qualifications of the parents do have an impact. Highly educated parents will have some advantages when it comes to tutoring their children and their way of thinking. However,"Well-bred people"The key is not academic qualifications, but personal character and a sense of responsibility to children.
While insight and competence play an important role in the starting line, the first condition for being a good parent is usually to be able to practice the third point above, which is often the most difficult and crucial. Students themselves can feel whether their parents are genuine.
Topic: What do you think is the core of homeschooling?