Who says men and women can't kiss each other? It's super easy to get a female colleague.
Recently, I encountered a small incident in the workplace, which made me suddenly realize that there was a difference in the way I communicated with my female colleagues, which led to some communication problems. However, after this "painful lesson", I summed up some tips and found that as long as you master the method, it is actually super easy to get a female colleague!
Here's the thing, last week there was a new female colleague in our department, Anan, who was very cute, with a good night squirrel head cut in her hair, wearing a floral skirt, and a little baby fat, which made people particularly urge to rub it. In a warm and friendly attitude, I took the initiative to talk to Anan on the first day, introduced the situation of our department, and remarked her *** as a "little angel of the department", saying that I would do my best to help her integrate into the department.
Unexpectedly, the next day, Anan went to the department manager to complain to me, saying that I had offended her and asked to be transferred out of our department. I looked confused, where did I offend her? I just want to help my new colleagues adapt quickly! The manager told me to reflect on the fact that my "enthusiasm" might make my female colleagues wary of me, think that I had a different purpose, and ask me to correct my attitude.
Damn, I have a heart of enthusiasm to help others, but I was said to be a pervert, which is too wrong!
But when I think about it, a lot of times I do have problems with the way I communicate with my female colleagues. For example, even though it was just a joke, they called me "disrespectful to women"; For example, offering to help, they called me "chauvinistic"; Another example is the concern about their safety problems when they work overtime too late, and they say that I am "too lenient" and so on. In the eyes of my female colleagues, I have completely become a big pig's trotter.
What the hell is wrong? I pondered and meditated, and after reading n dating skills books highly recommended by netizens, it finally dawned on me: it turns out that in the eyes of women, it is better to have less than one thing, and it is better to wait to be called than to take the initiative to help!
I immediately found the best way to fit in with the female circle, and that was to keep a low profile!
1.Talk less and listen more, don't talk full.
In the past, I always liked to take the initiative to find a topic, and throw a stalk or something. Now I realize that in front of girls, it's good for you to listen quietly to their chatter, and occasionally interject a sentence or two to show that you are listening. Girls chatting are mainly about divergent emotions and don't need you to get too involved or feedback.
2.30% talking, 70% eye contact.
A lot of key emotional messages are conveyed through eye contact. So it's important to maintain eye contact when talking to female colleagues. Be careful that your eyes are sincere and steady, don't look left and right, and don't be too fiery or evasive. Proper eye contact can increase a woman's favorability.
3.Don't be too direct about the question.
In the past, I would often ask female colleagues directly, "What about you?" Why are you still single? Now I know that this kind of problem makes them very uncomfortable. The correct way to ask the question would be: "I think you're a good person, and many people must like you, right?" This not only expresses goodwill, but also avoids making the other party cramped.
4.Don't be too enthusiastic.
I used to want to be super enthusiastic, and on the first day I was like a friend. Now I understand that overly enthusiastic men tend to be perceived as fake and superficial. The correct way to deal with it is to maintain a certain sense of rustiness, take it step by step, and do not disturb the comfort zone of the other party.
5.Learn to say no to women's requests.
In the past, when a female colleague asked me to help with things, I would not hesitate to agree. Now I understand that being too accommodating to women can also be looked down upon. The right thing to do is to appropriately refuse some unreasonable requests, so that she understands that you are principled and not an on-call servant.
6.Express that you are a person who strives for progress.
I used to complain about how hard the work was, but now I understand that it makes me unattractive in the eyes of my female colleagues. The point is to express your mindset of striving for growth at work, which is what can win the admiration of women.
7.Don't go overboard when praising women.
I used to often praise female colleagues: "You are really the baby of the department, it makes my heart move!" Now I understand that this kind of explicit confession can make the other person uncomfortable. The correct way to praise is to be neutral, such as an objective affirmation such as "this thing is well done".
After repeated practice and adjustments, I found that as long as I master these tips, my relationship with my female colleagues is much easier! Now they don't think I'm a pervert or a daddy. Look, it turns out that it is not difficult to get along with girls at all, the key is to respect each other, pay attention to ways and means, master good proportions, and think about each other everywhere.
Although there are differences between men and women, as long as you communicate with your heart, you will definitely be the best partner! I hope that everyone can establish a harmonious relationship with members of the opposite sex in the department and make work more fun.
Life in the workplace