In an era when the term "PUA" is becoming more and more popular, the term used in its earliest and most formal psychology should also be familiar and understood, and of course we should try to avoid falling into such psychological manipulation.
Gaslighting was originally used in the British drama "Gaslighting", and was later adapted into a movie. In this work, the husband mistakes his wife for losing his mind through various small actions of gaslighting, has auditory hallucinations, visual hallucinations, and finally drives his wife crazy, trying to embezzle her family's huge fortune.
But what is even more terrifying is that all of this is done by the husband in the name of "loving his wife." Of course, such a word later became synonymous with psychological manipulation in interpersonal relationships, especially in the name of love, and it has to attract our attention.
So how do modern women avoid being the target of gaslighting? How do you identify gaslighting manipulation happening near you? How can we avoid falling into manipulation and be able to recognize the truth of the facts and get out smoothly?
Dr. Amelia Kelly is a professional integrative traumatist** with more than 20 years of experience as an artist**, meditation and yoga instructor, with a focus on women who have been abused or emotionally traumatized. Her book, Gaslighting: An Anti-PUA Guide for Women, provides readers with a model of interpersonal relationships in the context of gaslighting.
The book begins with ten concrete cases in which we can learn how children, wives, mothers, and even their members who are "gaslighted" gradually lose themselves and fall into a world of mental breakdown. This section gives us an idea of the harm caused by gaslighting manipulation and allows us to understand the dangers of such manipulation in the form of concrete cases.
So how to identify gaslighting manipulation is the first priority for everyone. The author also provides us with detailed details such as the means and process of gaslighting manipulation, so that we can have a clear understanding of the logic behind this manipulation, and if it appears around us, it will also allow us to be vigilant.
If an individual is truly caught up in gaslighting, how can he salvage himself from his injuries? And how do you allow yourself to accept your truest self and be reborn? This is also an important part of the healing part of the book.
The author gives us advice on three aspects: confronting past trauma, defending our feelings, and breaking bad patterns. In this part, the author provides a large number of targeted exercises, so that we can gradually communicate with our hearts through practical exercises, gradually find our lost selves, and gradually regain the motivation to live.
For us in reality, not letting ourselves fall into gaslighting is the key, the fundamental. But for real individuals, everyone must have their own problems, these problems are also easy to be used by people with ulterior motives, and sometimes it is inevitable to be manipulated accidentally, but with the corresponding knowledge, this probability will undoubtedly be greatly reduced, and even after being manipulated, you can quickly get out of the trouble and regain your life.
For individuals, self-esteem and self-confidence are the key, and for any person, being able to face their imperfections, be able to believe in themselves, and be able to accept their imperfections are the core of self-awareness. And this book also gives corresponding exercises, so that we can communicate with our own hearts, so that we have full confidence, so that we will no longer become the target of others' manipulation.
There are indeed some dark sides of human nature in life, and what we need to do is to have a clear understanding of these dark sides, and not to let ourselves fall into such darkness, so that a book can actually become a reading material for us to understand the dark side of life, so that we are not coerced by the darkness around us to read