The day before yesterday, I saw a hot search "I hope we don't live as a punishment", and my heart shook.
At that moment, because I couldn't figure out some things, my emotions were twisted, and I twisted left and right, and I began to punish myself again.
No matter how sober a person is, he will inevitably punish himself, and the more he thinks about it, the more severely he will be punished, and the punishment will not be limited to, but not limited to, anger, worry, remorse, loneliness, and low self-esteem.
Some are objective existences, but more are subjective falls.
Some reasons are not you at all, but they will still cause a lot of small theaters in your heart because of other people's every move.
For example, this case of self-punishment shared by netizens brought back my memories of exams.
He said that when he was in junior high school, he would be very anxious when he heard the sound of the next desk turning the test papers, because he guessed that the other party might have done the second side, and he was still stuck in this question and couldn't get by, his heart was very messy, his head was very confused, and the more anxious he was, the more he couldn't think of it.
I was also disturbed by the sound of the book next door, and when I thought about it, flipping through the books in the dead silence of the exam room, coupled with the problem of not being able to do it, the scene of self-doubt began to play out.
Especially at that time, the standard of self-evaluation has not yet been established, and I always like to benchmark myself with others, and mistake the progress of others as my own.
When we get stuck in other people's progress bars, there are subconscious comparisons, and when we compare, we have anxiety, because it's always easy to pay attention to others, but you rarely focus on your own moment.
Your energy has gone to others, and the little flame left for yourself is getting smaller and smaller, so it becomes a kind of vulnerability, a kind of self-punishment.
It is not a matter of making a difference to be affected by someone else's movement.
This sentence is particularly wise, just because others can be good doesn't mean that you can't be good, and because others are bad doesn't mean that you can be good.
Others are others, you are you, don't live yourself as a punishment because of others, because of comparison and jealousy.
Each of us is on different coordinates, you have yours, I have my direction. Just like answering questions, some people like to write the essay first and then do multiple-choice questions, while others do the opposite, maybe the sound you hear flipping through the test paper is not that people do it fast, but that they do it in a different order.
Don't easily benchmark others, don't question yourself at will, go your own way, and don't win or lose.
There is also a kind of self-punishment that wants to control things that you can't control.
When my son was two or three years old, he especially liked to sit in the car and watch the rain, because at this time, the windshield wiper on the front of his father's car would start working, and he thought it was funny.
Once sitting in the car, the weather was fine, and the child said to me, Mom, can you make it rain?
I said, I can't control the weather. The child cried loudly, it turned out that his mother was not omnipotent, and the weather could not be artificially controlled, and he was very sad for this reason.
Children will cry because of things they can't control, but as adults, I know that control can be controlled, and then everything will follow the wind.
Thinking about it this way, my mood suddenly brightened up a lot.
In this regard, I can't help but admire Faye Wong.
People who have filmed Wong Kar-wai's movies are full of grievances, Leslie Cheung said that he didn't agree with Wong Kar-wai, Tony Leung went home and cried because of a shot repeated 29 times, and Maggie Cheung took a long time to forgive Wong Kar-wai's way of filming.
Filming Wong Kar-wai's film, the wait is a long test, and the director himself can't give an accurate schedule.
Calm like Andy Lau and optimistic like Carina Lau will also be anxious, but Faye Wong said that it's good, it's like a vacation.
The host asked Faye Wong, do you know what Wong Kar-wai wants?
Faye Wong said, I don't know, I don't want to ask, just do it, and I won't regurgitate how I photographed when I go home.
She's such a person, no matter what she does, she seems to lift a weight. Do your own things well, don't care what others think, don't worry about things that don't belong to your own affairs.
She never thinks too much to consume herself, she knows very clearly, what should be done by herself, what should be done by others, what she can control, what she can't control, so she is not held hostage by the traffic of superstars, nor is she constrained by the positioning of the outside world, and she lives more easily than many superstars.
Just do what you can do, and everything will fall into place.
Don't worry about unnecessary worries, don't bear the worries that you shouldn't bear, life is short, it's not easy to be yourself, and do it and spare your life.
Regret is the most punishable kind of spiritual whipping in the dead of night.
When I think of the money I have spent, the wrong things I have said, and the heart that I have paid wrongly, tears of remorse come out of my eyes.
The pain of regret is a faint pain in my heart, knowing that yesterday was like the flowing water, far away from me, but today I still have a lot of worries in my heart.
How much I want to wake myself up, regret will only make people emotionally stay in the past, and forget to cherish the present.
My friend said that when I was a child, the most annoying thing was to hear my mother count down my father, saying that I regretted marrying your father, that I was incompetent and had no money, and that I had to worry about everything.
Regret can accelerate oxidation, the more regrets, the older the heart, looking forward, can make you become vivid and excited.
Life is like chess, and there are no regrets. What slipped away was time, what fell was a chess piece, and there was no regret in this game. Let the past pass, let go of regrets, and don't chatter about things that have passed.
People can't step into the same river twice, the deceased is like Sifu, whether you regret it or not, time waits for no one.
Don't torture yourself with regrets, look forward, don't look back, live well today, and you won't regret today in the future.
I am a person who is easily punished by worry.
Even though I know that I am worried about it, it is just an imagination set in advance in my mind, but I can't help but worry.
People who worry about their constitution have a life that is several times heavier than that of a person who is optimistic.
In order to overcome my worries, I began to analyze myself, and most of my worries were about worrying about tomorrow and the future that had not yet arrived.
If I had lived today as the last day of my life, I would not have been able to live without burden.
This month I had a flu, swallowed a blade in my throat, coughed all the time, felt like I was going to cough up blood, and couldn't sleep at night.
For a moment, I felt that my life was threatened, and I didn't know if there would be a tomorrow, so what was the use of worrying about the distant future.
If you imagine that you will live to be 90 years old, it will feel very heavy, you will plan a lot and worry a lot, but if you only care about today's events, your worries will only be one day at most.
So, the way to dispel worries is to keep the future tightly behind the door as if it were the past.
The future is today, there is no such thing as tomorrow, the day of your salvation is now.
Tell yourself every morning: Today is your new life.
Another way is to imagine your life as an hourglass with thousands of grains of fine sand that methodically pass through the narrow bottleneck in the middle of the hourglass.
When we start our day every morning, we feel like we're on the verge of a great enemy, and we feel like there's an endless amount of waiting for you.
Don't worry, we're going to let these things go like sand through an hourglass, one grain at a time, one thing at a time.
By following the steps to get things done and working and living in an orderly manner, you can reduce anxiety.
From today onwards, live as much as you would if there was no tomorrow.
Although mortals are inevitably troubled by all kinds of careful things, it is enough to take care of their hearts one day at a time.
If you can survive yesterday, you can survive today.
When you adjust your thinking, you can change your way of life and don't treat yourself as a punishment.