What is the so-called cultivation to the end? Is it the Five Blessings of Life? No! Who said that cultivation can lead to the five blissful life? Not necessarily, but when we start practicing, we are already on the road to the five beatitudes, and this is the purpose of the mind, and that's already good.
Cultivation is not necessarily a matter of what kind of result is a perfect life. There is no perfect life, perfection is a kind of violence, perfection is a kind of violence to oneself and others, and the coffin is perfect.
There is no perfection in life, there is no only truth in life, and people who use the only truth to measure others have not yet cultivated to the realm of compassion.
Life allows for all kinds of paths, all kinds of faces, and what we practice is compassion.
So, even for the people who hurt us, such as the family of origin, parents, partners, children...We don't analyze the harm it brings us, we don't resent it, but we have to stand on a higher dimension and transcend it.
Life is meant to be transcended. How to transcend the pain of the original family? It is compassion, the great spiritual poet Rumi said, "We experience humanity with spirituality, not spirituality." ”
Our spirituality came into this world to bloom, but when we encounter a broken parent who causes more or less harm, then what do we do?
Is it complaining about parents? No, our parents are here to spar us, and when we come to the world, we are grateful to our parents for playing the role of a good sparring partner to help us go to perfection and live a more powerful self.
Is it a silent mention of the damage caused to parents unconsciously? No, then our wounded inner child will not be healed. Then we can't live to our strength.
Sometimes, when we talk about the hurt we have suffered in our original family, we are not judging our parents, but on the contrary, speaking out about our own pain in our original family is precisely to heal our inner children, and it is precisely the beginning of resolving the pain of our original family.
If we don't talk about the pain of our experience, we are suppressing our own truth, and that will cause us to lose our vitality.
The point is, how do we go about the family of origin? What kind of dimension and what angle do you stand on to talk about your pain?
This is the most important thing, this is the key to determining the outcome of things.
My experience is that we don't need to hide the hurt we have suffered in our family of origin, but we also need not exaggerate the harm we have suffered in our family of origin.
Instead, it is an objective description, expressing one's true thoughts and feelings, standing from a compassionate perspective, and telling the story with a grateful mind.
First, we need to be compassionate to ourselves and hold ourselves in the deepest part of our suffering. As Rumi said, we experience humanity with spirituality, not spirituality with humanity.
Therefore, from a spiritual point of view, we have compassion for the wounded child, to heal him, to hold him, to integrate the wounded part with the deepest presence of life, and in the wholeness, we have the ability to compassionate the parents.
Beyond the story, there is the story, and beyond the tears, there is life. The pain of the original family is not something that cannot be told, but it must be told objectively from the perspective of compassion and gratitude, otherwise, we will not be able to heal ourselves.
We are not suppressing the shadows and hiding them, otherwise, we will lose our vitality. We are to bring the shadow to the light, to the compassion, to the love. In this way, healing can eventually take place.
Compassion for our own pain can not only heal ourselves, but also heal our parents and our original family.
Compassion for the suffering of others is also one of the most important purposes of our practice. It is only in compassion that true wisdom comes out.
Be merciful of your own pain, learn to hold on to yourself, and be compassionate to the pain of others, and not to judge the pain of others arbitrarily.
Otherwise, it is violence against others, rubbing salt on the wound. Violence against others is also violence against oneself, and compassion for others is compassion for oneself.
Life is a dojo, and I hope we can all cultivate a pure heart, a compassionate heart, and a peaceful heart in the red dust.
As the great ** teacher Satya said: "Inner harmony, interpersonal harmony, world peace." ”
The world is the illusion of the mind, and the cultivation of the mind is the creation of a new world.