Have you ever felt this way?
From childhood to adulthood, when to be admitted to university, when to take the postgraduate examination, when to work, when to start a family, when to have children, and even when to have a second child or a third child are all subject to strict time restrictions, not sooner or later, these masters in life must all be completed at the time that people want.
If it's a little late, everyone else around you will be anxious except for you who are not anxious. It seems that if you are a little late, you will commit such a heinous crime, and the seven aunts and eight aunts will take turns to criticize you anxiously, and you will not give up until you achieve your goal.
Sometimes I feel like I'm not a human at all, but a train that can only keep moving forward according to a set track. You can't be slow, you can't be fast, you can't make mistakes, you can't regret it, every step in life must be perfect, as if once there is a spread pool, this life is over.
The social environment has always taught people that only by working hard, being aggressive, only by being dedicated, indomitable, and only by enduring hardships can they become masters... Under the coercion of this social environment, sometimes people forget to think: What do I want?
Starlight lives up to passers-by, but it also doesn't fail moon watchers
Perhaps we should all stop and think about whether we want admiration or inner peace and contentment.
Although I can understand that people are in an anxious environment, and they will unconsciously become anxious and involuntarily, I would like to say that if you are tired and unhappy in this environment, you might as well escape and introspect.
Sometimes when you are struggling with whether to choose the answer that satisfies everyone or only yourself, you should let go of the pressure of the environment and imagine what your heart really wants.
At this time, some people may think in their hearts: Am I too naïve to think about these things? But I'm telling you, it's not naïve, it's real maturity.
"Self-differentiation".
In the psychological dimension, this kind of internal friction of two thoughts in one's own heart is called "self-differentiation" of people.
After self-differentiation, people will produce two kinds of selves:
One is the functional self, that is, the "social mask" that is worn in order to adapt to society; One is the true self, that is, the most authentic appearance of a person after taking off the "social mask".
And a truly mature person is not what others say, but is able to make a good balance between the self that the society hopes for and the true self.
Only by insisting on yourself can you truly balance the relationship between the expectations of others and your own needs.
See who you really are
Just like when you visit and are very unwell, the company leaders want to go to a dinner, and see that your colleagues are gone, and you will seem to be unsociable if you don't go, if you go and can't refuse drinks and drinks, you can't refuse to talk and laugh, and you are tired when you get home, but no one seems to know how much discomfort you endure for the dinner.
But if you choose not to go at first, you will get into the quilt, wrap yourself tightly in the quilt, find a comfortable position, sigh deeply, the quiet walls will not give you any response, and the noise outside the window seems to completely separate from you. After that, you slept until dawn, and the next morning watched the ** taken by your colleagues together, expressing to your colleagues that you were unwell last night and regretted not participating.
How do you feel about these imaginations? If you feel a little calm, it is as if a gap has opened in the dark life, and light has spilled in, dispelling some anxiety and tension. Then, you feel the "moonlight" of the spiritual world.
I've said a lot, but I don't know if you're going to be able to read what I'm saying. I think what I'm trying to say is that when you're being swayed by society's gaze and your true self, don't rush to make a decision, you might as well get out of the gaze and coercion and look at yourself.
Anxiety disorders