Recently a friend approached me for help:
Her children encounter problems in learning, often sighing, and are particularly impatient, she will comfort the child that it is normal to encounter problems, read more questions patiently, think about what knowledge points should be used for the knowledge learned, draw pictures, and will definitely find ideas. But the child will still say, "But I really don't, I don't know." ”
She asked me:How can children not be impatient in the face of difficulties, and how should parents guide them?
In fact, the child's impatience is a good thing to some extent, because he wants to finish the problem quickly. If the child is not impatient when he encounters a problem, but puts it aside and waits for the teacher to finish the class before writing, then the parents may be more anxious.
When the child is impatient, it will not work for the parent to reason repeatedly. Because the child also knows that he should not be impatient in the face of difficulties, but the problem is that he knows that he can't do it.
Just like us, we know that we shouldn't be angry with our children, but we can't help but get angry when we encounter conflicts.
If "knowing" can "do", then where in the world are there troubles?
What can I do to help my child feel less irritable?
Here's how you can try it.
When children encounter problems, parents can accompany their children to face them and guide them to find solutions independentlyWith the feeling of success again and again, slowly offset his impatience
If the child really has no ideas, parents should subtly give reminders and make casual appearances, so that the child feels that this is what he thinks of himself.
When the problem is finally overcome by the child, parents should give him positive feedback in time, such as:
You're amazing! You can think of a solution to such a difficult problem! Mom has no idea for a long time, you are more patient than Mom! ”
I saw that you were going to be anxious just now, but I didn't expect to stabilize and continue to think of a way, you really have perseverance! ”
When a child successfully solves a problem, the very fact will give the child a positive experience.
At the same time, parents recognize their children in a timely manner, which will also improve their children's self-confidence.
When the two effects are combined, the child will gradually stop being afraid of difficult problems.
If you are not afraid, you will naturally be less impatient.
When there are more similar successful experiences, the child will become more and more confident, and when he encounters problems again, he may be excited—"It's time to prove that I'm good again!" ”
Successful experience will make people more and more confident.
Therefore, in daily life, parents should pay attention to providing more opportunities for their children to experience success.
Some parents may be worried, if they are always successful, what if their child's ability to resist setbacks is not good?
That's a lot of worry.
Because parents are only responsible for the family.
Home is a warm harbor for children, helping children resist wind and rain.
However, children eventually have to go out of the house, play with children, go to kindergarten, primary school, middle school, ......
As soon as he stepped out of the house, he would encounter all kinds of people and things.
How can the outside world be beautiful every day?
When problems and conflicts arise, it is an opportunity to exercise children's resilience to frustration.
Being criticized by teachers, fighting with children, and running last ...... in sports meetsThese things, for children, are "wind and rain".
When children ask us for help because of these things, we must pay attention, do not be "parents", do not solve problems on behalf of children, but inspire children to think independently about the way to face these difficulties.
However, when the child is in a scared and sad mood, parents must first empathize with the child's feelings, and at the same time guide the child to experience his own feelings.
After the child has calmed down, guide the child to think about the reason for the incident, what can be faced and how to solve it. In this process, it is recommended to use the method of "brainstorming" to encourage him to think of a few more tricks.
Because the first solution that the child comes up with may not be so good, after all, it is the first attempt. But we can't just say no, it will hit the child. So, give your child enough time to think fully. When he comes up with three or more solutions, let him choose which one to use.
We need to believe that children have the ability to choose the best solution.
When children successfully solve problems, we should recognize and praise them in time, which will become an exercise to help children improve their ability to resist frustration by experiencing success.
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