One night last month, an incident happened to my 1-and-a-half-year-old baby: when I was foaming milk, my baby was playing with the lid of the milk powder can, and then tried to take the lid to cover the milk powder can in the upper left corner of the table, but accidentally knocked over the bottle I had just made and intended to cover the pacifier, and the 200ml milk turned all over the bed, table and floor. I was a temper tantrum, my first reaction was to immediately raise my voice and start scolding the baby, I thought the baby would cry, but he took two steps back in horror and then listened to me scolding when he kept making a "um" sound to show that he had done something wrong, looking at him trembling, and afterwards I regretted why I was angry with him, and he didn't mean to.
I believe that many parents will have the same experience as me, many times children do not do something wrong intentionally, but parents will reflexively raise their voices to criticize or even abuse. In the child's world, the mother is their whole spiritual attachment, and often criticizing the child for a little thing will make the child timid, introverted and timid, so being an emotionally stable mother is very important for the child's self-confidence and letting go.
Many people will understand the reason, but it is difficult to do it in real life, and today I would like to give some advice to mothers with my own personal experience. In the month since then, I have been reminding myself to stabilize my emotions and not to pay too much attention to things that are not in principle, so that I will not get angry. Therefore, mental attention and reminders play an important role in the actions of the body.
Then in the daily life with the baby, there are also encounters such as the baby is disobedient, the baby eats everywhere, the baby refuses to sleep, the baby wants to play with the mobile phone and cries when the snack is not satisfied. Whenever this encounter baby does not listen to the persuasion I want to get angry, I hold back the first second, and then take a deep breath, let my heart want to get angry first calm down for a few seconds, and then slowly say the relevant truth and my thoughts to the baby, note that the attitude is gentle and firm, the baby will choose to hope that I choose to give in according to his wishes, but I will choose to speak a second time, or even a third time. If it's a matter of principle, such as having to go to bed late at night, then I choose to stop when I talk about it the third time, and show by my own actions that I have to go to bed now. After a while, you will find that the baby has also chosen to sleep obediently.
If it is something that can be negotiated, such as having to look at his phone, I will tell him that looking at his phone is not good for his eyes, that he will have to go to the hospital for injections after seeing too much, or that his phone needs to be charged when it is out of battery, so that he can choose other ways to play and let his attention be diverted to other things of interest, so as to avoid crying behavior in the face of the problem.
After a month of hard work, I found that I can control my emotions and be an emotionally stable mother, so mothers don't set limits for themselves, thinking that their natural personality is so impossible to change, in fact, they are all framed by themselves, in order to make the child not introverted and timid, let's act together to be an emotionally stable mother.