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Parents will always love their children deeply and responsibly, and the purpose is:Expect the child to be perfect and impeccable
But did the parents know?When the water is full, it overflows, and when the moon is full, it loses
If parents blindly create what they see as so-called."Perfect"The child,It is bound to be the oppositeand cultivated".Pathological"The child,
As a female college student suffering from depression wrote in her diary:
Parents are overly harsh, strict and demanding, and often put "".Why are you so stupid"Put it on your lips.
Let yourself go further and further on the road of pursuing perfection and fear of making mistakes, and in the end, fall into the abyss and cannot extricate yourself
Later, the parents slowly realized:An imperfect life is called life
Life needs to be imperfect
The famous host Bai Yansong in an episode of "Dialogue" program:tells the story of his depression and three times trying to end his painful experience.
A few years after graduating from college, Bai Yansong suffered from severe depression.
At the beginning, the state was okay, and I could work and live normally and communicate with people.
Gradually, I began to alienate my family, friends, and colleagues, did not communicate with them, had no interest in anything, and closed myself.
Later, I felt that my body had changed, and even after working all day, I was very tired and couldn't eat.
The more night I got, the faster I feel my brain, and the night-to-night insomnia leads to a lot of hair loss, and finally, alopecia areata.
I felt like I had fallen into the mire, and the more I tried to struggle, the deeper I sank, and it was very painful, and I slowly thought of suicide.
After his family found out, they took him to ** to alleviate his depression by taking medicine, exercising, and reading books.
By chance, he read "Zeng Guofan's Family Motto", and there was a sentence in it that made him suddenly open his mouth and completely woke him up.
The phrase is:The flowers are not fully bloomed and the moon is not full,
The deep meaning behind it is that imperfection is an important part of life, and imperfect life is called life.
Hearing Bai Yansong say this, many ordinary people will be very puzzled, why do they get depression when they can appear on TV every day, have such a decent job, and are not short of money?
Many people feel that his ideas are still very good".Weird"That's it".Hypocrisy
Actually, this is the misunderstanding of ordinary people.
The more excellent the person, the higher the requirements for themselves, and the self-discipline is also very strong.
And their high requirements and strong self-discipline are often cultivated by their parents from childhood to adulthood, and they can't tolerate them making a little mistake since they were youngWhy are you so stupidThis sentence.
Over time, I have made excellence a habit, demanding perfection and not being able to accept a little mistake.
Moreover, since I was a child, I was accustomed to being praised by others, and I was envied by others, and I subconsciously thought:You should be perfect
Actually,It's a pathology
Recently, in the hit TV series "If Running Is My Life": Zhao Xiuli is both strict and loving to her son Ruoxuan.
gave all his love to his son, gave everything, asked his son to be admitted to graduate school, and asked his son to be perfect.
But, what she didn't expect was that she "".Pathological"Again".SuffocationLove, so that the son suffered from depression, and in the end, died in a car accident.
An imperfect life is a happy and wonderful life
We all know Zhu Dan, and when we mentioned Zhu Dan before, what immediately came to mind was that she was".The first sister of Zhejiang Satellite TV
Now, we're referring to Zhu Dan,What comes to mind is: she is Zhou Yiwei's wife, a mother of two children, and an ordinary woman.
In fact, before Zhu Dan married Zhou Yiwei, he also had a painful experience of depression
When her career was thriving, the pressure that followed was also very great, she was very afraid of making mistakes, afraid that the audience would no longer like her one day, and afraid that she would not be worthy of the title of "Zhejiang Satellite TV's first sister".
Because,She has been a people-pleasing personality since she was a child, and in order to make her mother happy, she always makes herself well-behaved and sensible, and is strict with herself, for fear of being said
Slowly, she had emotional problems, suffered from depression, couldn't remember her lines more and more times, and made a slip of the tongue, which led to a gradual decline in her status and sitting on a cold bench.
After a long period of adjustment, let's take a look at the current Zhu Dan, who has long gotten rid of the so-calledFirst sisterThe perfect aura
In 2017, she married Zhou Yiwei, was promoted to become a mother, and when she did entertainment programs, she was plain and calm.
Let the audience see their imperfect self, and after they unload the burden of idols, they will become happier and happier, and their lives will become more and more exciting.
In fact, only when we understand that life is imperfect and accept it calmly can we reconcile with ourselves, become happier and happier, and usher in our own wonderful life.
Pursue your life in imperfection
Wu Qianyu is a very controversial woman in Hong Kong, and we know her not through the TV series or movies she starred in, but through her romance with two rich boyfriends.
During her relationship with the famous TVB actor Lin Feng, she was accused of being ".A scheming gold worshipper", saying that she was not worthy of Lin Feng at all.
After she broke up with Lin Feng after five years of love, many fans applauded, and she was scolded miserably.
Later, when she fell in love with Shi Boxiong, the third generation of the rich, she was scolded againBloody dogsIt is said that he will only work the rich, and that he is a "bad" woman who can only eat, drink and have fun with luxury and pleasure
Even if the outside world has overwhelming negative comments about Wu Qianyu, she doesn't care at all, she works hard to do her best.
Because, since she was a child, her parents will give her free space to grow up and respect her ideasI won't be too strict with her, how perfect and likable she is
In an interview, she said: ".She will not pursue the so-called 'trend', she will not become like that because white and thin beauty is popular now, she will only follow her own aesthetics
She doesn't care what others say about her, whether she likes herself or not."
Now, she is engaged to Shi Boxiong, and she is about to enter the marriage hall and find her own happiness.
Many fans' impression of her is also slowly changing, from hating her to slowly appreciating her.
In fact, Wu Qianyu is a woman with a strong heartShe is open to her imperfections and pursues the life she wants
Conclusion
We often hear the phrase ".People should know for themselvesFrom a certain point of view, this sentence is not a derogatory term, but a word that can wake us up at a critical moment.
Nothing is perfect
Imperfection is the norm in life, and there is no need for parents to be too harsh on their children and let their young minds suffer undue stress and pain.
Everything has its law of growth, and children are no exception.
Instead of beating and scolding at every turn, he often talks about "why are you so stupid".