Introduction: FamousPreschool educators, also known as:"Father of kindergarten".ofFroebelSaid: "If you say."Parents love their children out of instinct, thenChildren love their parentsSo it isA congenital acquisition
China Youth Research CenterYesMultiple citiesofElementary, middle, and high schoolsConductedSurveysDiscover, even ifForced by his parents to study every day, and there are still anyMore than 80%.ofThe child saidI love my parents so muchAmong them, there are43% of childrenindicates".themtooFirst-time parentsI forgive themnow".
Every time Niu Niu pounced on meSay love me softlyWhen I always amRegret that I shouldn't have lost my temper with her too oftenAt the same time, it is also very goodI wonder why she's still so clingy to meBest friend XiaowenLookNestled in his armsConcentrate on playing with dolls3-year-old daughter, quite a bitPuzzled。And we can't figure it out, after all, she isRecognized as a "tiger mother" in the circle of friends,Not onlyStrict education, also from the daughterFrom 2 years oldJustStart arranging an interest class
Such as Niu NiuNot yet 2 years old, Xiaowen justbegan to ask that she had to eat by herselfSometimes, everyone has a dinner togetherSome friends saw the child tremblinglandEat with a spoonI thinkSome distressed, justI want to take a spoon and feed her, immediatelyStopped by Xiaowen, and also deliberatelyEmphasize to your daughter"Baby,You have to eat by yourselfOtherwise, you will go hungryOh!”
And forto keep Niu Niu in good shape, Xiaowen is even more fromMy daughter just turned 3 years oldJustArrange a physical fitness class for young children, every time I see her posted to the circle of friends, childPitifully stood**, everyone can't help it"Pick up a handful of bitter tears" for the child
However, although Xiaowen is already considered a "tiger mother", butNiuniu is very dependent on her mother, no matter whatGo out and play, mustSpend time with your mom, stillI was just lectured by my mother a moment agoThe next momentand can say softly".Mommy hugsI love my mom so much"Wait, not to mention everyoneComplimentsThis child".No grudges at allEven Xiaowen herselfI think it's incredible.
American Academy of Pediatrics Parenting EncyclopediaThe book states that compared toSome parentsProbablyLove what children doA child's love for his parentsYesUnconditionalof, and all of itCaused by the psychological characteristics of the child
1. Pure feelings
Educator Chen Heqin said: "From the moment children are born, they give 100% of all their kindness and love to their parents, but in contrast, parents may not be able to give you 100%. ”
BecauseSimplicity of heartI have not been trained in societyThe love of children for their parents is not mixed with other complicated conditions。In their eyes,Able to shelter yourself from the wind and rain and answer questionsofParentsThat's itThe most powerful existence
2. Children's love is straightforward and simple
I love momMom is the prettiestMom and Dad worked hardTheseWarm wordsRightSimple childrento sayNot hard to say, and still areBrave expression without pressure. i.e. themThe straightforwardness of loveAndSimpleand will not be likeParentsThe same, thoughLove children, but because ofReserved and introverted, oftenJust put it into action
As suchAmerican Academy of PediatricsReleasedResearch provesBabies from birthYesDistinguish between dependencies and trustsand to theirsLove grows warm with intimacy。But withIncreasing age, orReceived by the family environment and educationetcImpact, ifDidn't get the right guidance,They canThe ability to express love and trust in a straightforward mannerwillConstantly declining
3. Unconditional trust
Professor Li Meijin, an expert in adolescent psychologyBy virtue ofDecades of research into adolescent psychologyconfirmed:"KidsBothBorn to love parents, tooI trust my parents very much。ButPremise:YesDidn't experience injury after injurywithDisappointment
WhileCenter for the Study of Child Psychology, Harvard UniversityAlso passedLong-term researchDiscover,The baby is in the pregnant bellyAlreadyDeveloped an attachment relationship with her mother, and withAfter they are bornReceived the wholehearted care of my mother, plus not only attachment relationships,Trust, tooIt is on a straight upward trend
From the above, it is not difficult to see that it is likeWilliam Mekbis Thackeraysaid: ".The mother is like a god to the child。Perhaps this sentence seems exaggerated, butA child's love for his or her parentsDefinitelyThere is no doubt about it。Just becauseGrowth processMedium,Parents' incorrect education methods and conceptsMake theirsLove is constantly being consumed, evenSome children show feelings of disgust with their parents
Such as:Beijing Municipal Education CommissiononEarly 2023Published oneFindingsDisplay,There are more than 3,000 primary and junior high schools in BeijingandHigh school studentsIn about "Do you love your parentsQuestionnaires, there is56.28% of childrenindicates".Dissatisfaction, orDisgusted with parents, onlyAbout 5%.ofKidsindicates".I love my parents very much。And from the reasons they give,The main reason is still from the parents
InBeijing Municipal Education CommissionofFindingsin,More than 60%.ofKidsindicates".Parents are too lenient and annoying”。It's not just thatEat, drink, live and travel, to theirsLearn, evenMake friendsBothto intervene。And thisDo everything and don't give your child a choiceofParentsIt seemsI just touched myselfKidsthenNo appreciation。AndThis style of parenting, makeKidsbecomesA "giant baby" who has no ability to take care of himself and cannot be independentofThe odds are great
In addition,Parents have long used verbal violence against their childrentooDestroying parent-child intimacyofOne of the main reasons。LikeHarvard Medical SchoolofProfessor Teicherand itsTeamPassedResearchAfter the discovery,Verbal violence from parents at an early ageofKidsNot onlyIncreases the difficulty of establishing a good parent-child relationshipInWhen the child becomes an adultthemSuffering from anxiety and depressionetcPsychiatric problemsofProbability, tooRelatively high
Such as:Why are you so stupidThat's itI couldn't get the first place"YouLook at how smart and diligent people areI'm so ashamed of youYou don't behave betterI don't want you anymore"Wait, inMany parents educate their children, often usedCriticism, orWords of "encouragement".and oftenLet the child become inferior and insecureInsideFeelRepression
In"Emotional Blackmail".mentioned in the book,Parents blindly blackmail their children emotionally, onlyOverdraft your child's loveThe parent-child relationship is difficult to maintainAt the same time, let'sChildren cannot have the ability to perceive love
Such as:I didn't continue to work because I took care of youIf it weren't for youYour dad and I have long since divorcedMaybe MomSay these words to your child, justI want my children to understand their painstaking effortsMotivate him to study hard and be obedient。As everyone knows, this will onlyCauses your child to feel guilty, and at the same timeMistakenly thinking that he is a "burden".FeelLow self-esteem
So,Parents should not emotionally blackmail their children, but in the form ofPositive and optimistic, full of positive energymentalityConvey love for childrenTeach himHave empathy and gratitudeCaring and filial piety to parents from the heart
Conclusion:
Oscar Wildethinks:"All children love their parents at first, just inGrowing up, thisUnconditional love is consumed by parentsnow". "Visible,ParentsIf you canGive rightAndAppropriate educationHarmonious and loving relationship with children, then each otherIt is not difficult to trust and love each other unconditionally
(This article *** network, if there is any infringement, please contact to delete).
List of high-quality authors