Zhao Benshan: What's the way (thief)? Song Xiaobao: A thief who steals! Zhao Haiyan: Isn't that still stealing?
--Lines from the sketch "Rich" (Form 5).
Thief (Song Xiaobao): I'm here. Uncle. I. Don't irritate me.
Lao Hao (Zhao Benshan): Look at your face, it is the face shape of a thief, and you really don't deserve this face shape.
Thief: Uncle, don't. Don't irritate me.
Hao's wife (Zhao Haiyan): You are, you're scared of him.
Old Hao: What are you scared of?
Note: Lao Hao has been thinking "What a thief, this is, are you a thief, grinding and chirping").
Hao's wife: No, child, listen to me tell you, once the police arrest you, we will give away the land You can rest assured... You thief, let's be honest.
Thief: Don't be a thief. Dry hay (note: scared the two of them) I am a thief, not a thief.
Lao Hao: What a thief (which way)?
Thief: A thief who steals.
Hao's wife: Isn't that still stealing?
Thief: Stealing and stealing are two concepts, stealing is vulgar, stealing is more elegant... Ever heard of the Jiangyang thief, have you ever heard of the Jiangyang thief?
Lao Hao: It's okay, don't complain, we are rural people and have no education.
Thief: No culture, reading, can't sleep in the middle of the night to read, give!
Lao Hao: Tomb robbery three.
Thief: I've finished the first two.
Lao Hao: You're in the wrong place, you're doing underground work, why did you run to the ground?
Thief: Uncle, you don't understand this, I won't tell you, I've been circling around your house for half a year, I used the compass, and I measured it out, right here in your house. This is east longitude, this is north latitude, 31514926 degrees Celsius, there's a tomb right down here.
Hao's wife: Huh? Lao Hao: There's a tomb here?
Thief: Tomb of Qin Shi Huang.
Hao's wife: Who is Qin Shi Huang?
Lao Hao: Isn't it Xi'an, isn't Qin Shi Huang Xi'an?
Thief: He's moved the grave.
Lao Hao: Who moved the land?
Thief: He moves the ground himself.
Hao's wife: Is this house a grave for our family?
Thief: You don't know how to tell people about it.
Hao: So what are you doing, archaeologist?
Thief: I don't believe it, I have a certificate. See!!!