Have you ever noticed that some people greet outsiders with a smile, but as soon as they get home, they get angry when they encounter something trivial and put on a stinky face to their family?
This is not uncommon in real life.
We obviously have the closest relationship with our family and should show them the best side, but sometimes we treat strangers more patiently and respectfully than we treat family members.
Why is this so?
Today we will talk about the psychological reasons behind this and see what makes some people so different in front of their families.
Anger and catharsis of self-impotence
Remember last year's "Happiness to Ten Thousand Homes" TV series?
Wang Qinglai in the play made many people stomp their feet angrily.
In the story, He Xingfu wants to improve his family's income by growing organic vegetables, but he finally gets off to a good start, but faces compensation due to land requisition, and all his efforts are in vain.
Wang Qinglai was outside, and he didn't dare to say a word when he encountered a problem, and when he got home, he was furious with He Xingfu. Why do you think he behaved like this?
In fact, people like Wang Qinglai are really common in life.
When they are outside, they are always careful and try to avoid conflicts with others, but when they get home, they are completely different people.
The root cause of this huge contrast is that they are angry at their own incompetence, but they can't find the right way to vent.
As a result, family members have become the object of their emotions. But is that really good?
We all know that there is no easy work in life, and everyone has their own hardships and tiredness.
Sometimes, we can also feel depressed because of stress, but being able to manage these emotions well and not affect our family is the real ability.
After all, how important it is for us to have the support and understanding of our families! If we can learn to maintain a pleasant face in front of our families, I believe that not only will the family relationship be more harmonious, but also the road of life will be smoother.
Because I am loved, I am unscrupulous
Have you ever heard the saying: "What you can't get is always in turmoil, and what is favored is fearless." ”
The same applies to family relationships.
Some people are kind to outsiders, but when they come home, they change, why?
Just because they know that no matter how much trouble they make at home, their family will always tolerate him and understand him.
This kind of mentality is actually quite dangerous.
For example, a netizen shared his story.
He is a small leader in the company, and he always greets people outside, but when he comes home, he has a different face.
He said that he was under a lot of pressure at that time, and he didn't like anything when he came home, and he was also cold to his wife.
Once, when his wife called him to eat, he suddenly broke out and scolded his wife to tears.
Later, although he apologized, saying that it was because he loved his wife too much, this situation happened again and again, and finally caused his wife to file for divorce.
This is because of being loved, so I feel that I can be unscrupulous.
But love is a two-way street, not an excuse you can take infinitely.
Family tolerance and understanding are precious and should not be a reason for us to vent our emotions.
We should learn to cherish, not hurt at will.
Remember, home is the warmest place and the most reassuring place.
We need to maintain this warmth and peace of mind with our hearts, rather than using it as an outlet to vent our emotions.
Let's work together to make home truly a haven for our souls.
Expectations of "one's own people" are too high and more demanding
There is also a situation where some people have particularly high expectations and strict requirements for their families.
Maybe in front of outsiders, they can keep a smile and welcome people, and they can be tolerant of other people's small mistakes.
But when I got home, I was furious when I saw even the slightest mistake in my family, as if my family had to be perfect.
I have a friend whose dad is such a person.
He was an amiable teacher at school, but when he came home, he was a different person, and he was very strict with his son.
If the son does something that does not meet his expectations, he will be furious.
Every time he did this, he would say, "You are my son, and I am here for your good." ”
But is this really for the sake of the child?
After a long period of time, not only did the son become afraid of his father, but also the relationship between them became strained.
Home, which was supposed to be a place of love and warmth, has become a place where people feel depressed and scared.
We need to know that expectations between family members should be based on understanding and support, not endless demands and criticism.
Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and what we need to do is encouragement rather than blame.
In this way, family relations can be more harmonious, and home can become the warmest harbor for everyone.
At the end of the day, each of us may have made the mistake of flattering the outside and being harsh on the inside to a greater or lesser extent in our lives.
It may be because of external pressure, or it may be that the way we deal with emotions is not mature enough.
But it is important for us to realize that family members should be the people we want to treat well the most.
Their love for us is unconditional and most precious.
We need to learn how to stay calm in the face of stress and emotions, how to express our emotions correctly, and not use our family members as emotional punching bags. We must also learn to cherish and appreciate the support and tolerance given to us by our family members.
Remember, it is our shared responsibility to speak well, to keep love, and to keep home, and it is also the key to a happy life.
Let's work together to leave the best of ourselves, the warmest emotions to the closest people, and make our home a real haven.