Hello, my friend.
It's been a long time since I've updated Leonardo da Vinci's mailbox, and this issue is even better!!
Q: Is it a luxury to have love?
A: Hello. My friend.
emmn。If you could answer this question in one word, I would definitely say, yes.
Undoubtedly, yes. Does this still need to be asked?I seem to have read that Li Yinhe's article before, and I probably talked about the difficulty of having love. And she said that love is not available to everyone. It's not that if you establish a relationship with a person, it means that you have love, and it's not that you two get a red book is love. On the contrary, it doesn't matter if the two of you have a relationship, children holding hands, that may also be love.
I don't know what to say, you get the idea. Whether you have it, you should know. Touch your heart and you'll know. If you've ever touched love, you know better.
Good. The above question about whether it is or not, the answer is complete. Next, let's talk about why luxury.
I feel that it has something to do with the current criteria for choosing a mate and social values. Choosing a mate is starting to get complicated.
There are so many other conditions. It's not just about whether the person is sincere, whether he deserves to be liked, whether he looks good, and has a good personality.
Add to that how they work, how many houses they have, how well they are educated, and how much they earn. Of course, at this point, you might say, I didn't.
This does not point to a problem with your choice. Actually, there is no problem. It's just getting harder. Because the superposition of those conditions is not necessarily mean and worldly for a person. Maybe he is pursuing a higher level of spiritual harmony and fit. There's nothing wrong with that.
But how to say it. It's just that it's getting harder. Your conditions are increasing, and so are the conditions of others.
Difficulty and difficulty, that's just a rarity. As a result, your ideal situation has failed.
And the purer love model before, you have long since lost. So there is a very bad word, called will. It's going to be just one person, get married casually, and deal with it. You see love is sifted out in this way. Of course, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're unhappy, and it's not. It's just not that love.
Isn't it a luxury to have love?
Yes. It's extravagant.
However, I also wish you the luxury of having something like that.
Good night!Q: I hate myself a little bit of a people-pleasing personality, and I want to be desperately good to her if I like someone, even if I haven't received a response yet, I can just make myself satisfied in the process of giving
A: Hello, my friend.
You are not wrong. You're a people-pleaser. But your behavior is above "love", and it is not the same as other aspects.
The people-pleasing personality is the kind of person who ignores his own feelings, often carries a sense of grievance, and constantly compresses his emotions and needs in order to obtain some recognition or praise from others.
But you're different, you're the same, even if people don't do anything, you're happy. Maybe that's the charm of love.
But ha. At the same time, you will develop "hatred" for your actions. In fact, this also shows that the kind of refreshment mentioned above cannot completely make you feel satisfied, at least not for a long time.
If you like someone and be good to her, of course, you hope that the two of you can be together, not just you pay unilaterally. I also hope that she will be able to react to you a little. But you can't do it just by relying on you to be good to her. yes, you should be aware of that too.
Then there is why you have a "pleaser" behavior. Or in other words, you continue to do the single act of "pleasing you". At the end of the day,Or do you feel that you have a sense of unworthiness, and the object you are chasing makes you feel unworthy. In this you are afraid of rejection, of failure. And pleasing is the safest way to love。That is, you are in love, but people can't show it well. That's probably how it feels. I don't know if I'm right.
emmn。I have a feeling that you have to get out of this pattern of behavior first. Then, you have to admit that your fawning is the equivalent of a low profile.
This is not wrong, because there are also success stories. But at least it's not particularly bright, it's not a particularly clever way. In addition, the beauty of love should be based on a collision between independence and independence.
You have a point, the other person likes or favors, so a love relationship arises. It is not a relationship of service and dependence. This is clearly unhealthy. And that force is easy to break. You have an inexhaustible strength now, and maybe one day, you will run out of strength. Isn't that destroying the relationship?
Go study hard, practice, and then build self-confidence, people like it if they like it, and they don't like to pull it down. Just bless. No one can live without anyone.
Of course, in the end, I have to say something else, it's still beautiful that you have this kind of "liking". I feel like you can fight for it.
In later years, I also heard many people say that they never had that kind of "liking". It's also a bad thing. I don't say how clever you are, but it's beautiful, I know. Annoyance is also real annoyance, and love is also true love.
All right. Love in another way. Fight for it. I wish you a harvest of love.
Q: 2024 didn't make me better, it just made me feel worse, I feel like my depression is getting worse
A: Hello, my friend.
In 2024, it's already day 9. I don't know, is your New Year's feeling still there?Anyway, for me, the New Year's sense seems to be gone. This is indeed a somewhat distressing thing, the sense of the new year is fleeting, and time suddenly becomes old again. Lost some of the freshness and the atmosphere of the beginning of life.
You say, 2024 didn't make you better. That's normal. There's no new year that really makes you feel refreshed.
If you want to be good, you have to do the deeds that make you good. Instead of doing nothing, being swept away by the New Year's God, dialing you right?That's really unrealistic, and it's completely impossible!
Then, you say you're feeling depressed. Ay. I don't know how to comfort you. Usually I feel helpless when I react to depression. I can only say that I can only give advice or comfort to the best of my ability. I think, thinking about it in combination with your previous sentence, I speculate that it should be caused by too much oppression from the outside world and too little energy from the outside world. This creates a sense of inner resistance.
It's about that uncomfortable sense of resistance. I feel that if you can act, try to do what you want to do and do the right thing. If it's really too uncomfortable, then let yourself stop for a while, and run away for a while, without feeling ashamed. It's more important to make yourself comfortable first!
Then, let me talk about my personal understanding of 2024, which may be helpful to you.
As for me, my most direct feeling for 2024 is that it will be a year of great changes. It's going to be a more drastic change than in 2023.
It's going to put a lot of pressure on me. I'm at an awkward age, or rather an age where I have to hand in part of my answers. Of course, the social clock can be ignored, but it definitely bothers me.
Look at my friends, they are also my frame of reference a lot of the time, and you rotate in them, either passively or actively. In addition, what I want to do, whether I want to be myself, whether I can achieve or get closer, these are all constantly testing me. Annoying.
And as for the feeling of depression. I'll feel like I've always had it. If you follow it, the symptoms of depression, such as low energy, strong self-identification, irritability and depression, these are all too frequent for me. I can only adjust and adjust. There is no better way.
I can only say, hopefully, that we will all make progress in 2024. Good luck!My friend.