2024 Book of Answers
Because of retirement, I have a lot of time, and because I have to go to my daughter's house for a long time, I am worried that there will be a generation gap in getting along, I want to be an enlightened mother, and because my little grandson is about to be born, and I am not 100% in favor of the way my daughter and son-in-law bring Dabao, they are too principled about the baby, I am very distressed, but I can't interfere, I want to find some ideal reason or basis to communicate with them, with these ideas, I carefully read "The Awakening of Parents" when Shafar Sabari.
This book organically blends Eastern mindfulness ideas with Western psychological theories, which reassured me and made me feel at ease when facing my daughter, who was not emotionally stable during confinementLet me learn by myself when I face all kinds of discomfort in a foreign country;It made me deeply aware that children are not only equal individuals with their parents, but also spiritual companions on the road of their parents' lives, and parents should pay more attention to spiritual communication with their children, "parents and children will gradually become spiritual partners in the journey of parenting", only in this way, "the parent-child relationship will become more meaningful".
Reading this book is like re-embarking on a child-rearing journey, and it makes me re-examine my relationship with my child, even though she is already an adult and has her own babyAlthough I think we have always been sweet mother and daughter.
This book "shares with a true understanding and warm belief in life and love, a real and beautiful path for parents and children to be nourished and grow at the same time, and to create a relationship of love and freedom together."
This book is special**, The Awakening of Parents" tells us not to expect to be perfect parents. If you've ever experienced feelings of helplessness, confusion, or even madness, don't be discouraged and think of them as a way to "awaken your soul." When you go through a profound emotional and psychological transformation, and then look at your parenting mentality, everything becomes open-minded."
It is a philosophical book, "Once we understand that others are not likely to cause our own distress, we are able to let go of the heavy baggage and emotional imprints of life." This will allow us to change the energy space in which we interact with others, and all problems will be solved. "Does this just refer to the parent-child relationship?Isn't it true of other relationships?
In my opinion, some chapters of this book are a little dragging due to the long narrative, and they are not quite in line with our Chinese reading habits, but there are two chapters for me to read again and again: Challenges throughout a lifetime: early childhood and the "terrible two";and "the two wings of an eagle".
In the chapter "Challenges Through a Lifespan: Early Years and the Terrible Two Years," you can read that parenting is a "journey of self-discovery" that "brings us directly to the best of ourselves and the worst of ourselves." We will discover an existence in us that has never been revealed—the capacity to love, give, and serve, and the corresponding desire for control, power, aesthetics, and perfectionism"; Parenting is "an opportunity to rediscover our own rhythms" and teaches us to live in the moment, because "in the world of babies, there are no clever words, no pretense of cleverness, and no pretense of play".
In this chapter, you can feel the endless warmth when you read "For babies, the measure of "success" is completely different. Their "big things" include: smiling, shaking their legs, dragging toys ......These constitute the milestones of their lives". You can't help but smile; "When we enter the holy space of the baby's heart, and with reverence in our hearts, we reap the fruits. Not only are babies growing, so are we. We enter a different state of life – one that communicates not only with our children, but also with our own hearts. We will discover a deeper connection with the whole of life, discover the meaning of living in the present, and be free from the shackles of the past and the future."
In this chapter, you can empathize: early childhood is a unique world. We are completely unprepared for the child's irritable or likable personality budding. Their various overreactions seem to come out of thin air and disappear out of thin air......, an angelic baby becomes crazy in an instant, and a good-natured baby becomes a little devil in the blink of an eye. ”
In this chapter, you can read about growing up: "Early childhood is indeed a complex and tricky time. During this period, the young child begins to exercise his rights over the world in which he lives, and "early childhood is a good time to sow inclusion".
This chapter tells us: "On the one hand, we must allow children to exercise their rights and be brave enough to take risks; On the other hand, we must also make them understand that there can be no limits to what they can say or do." "The first word "no" is very important, whether it is said appropriately and whether it can be implemented has a fundamental role in the future relationship between the elder and the young"; "We must also be decisive and consistent" ......
The Two Wings of the Eagle" chapter states that children need to learn from two aspects: the two wings of the eagle: one is called "authenticity" and the other is called "inclusion". Without any of these wings, children will falter and will not be able to soar into the blue sky like an eagle.
It is necessary to "set a bottom line for children's behavior, dare to say "no" to them, and dare to use tough measures against them, which are complementary to accepting children"; "We need to show wisdom and strength to separate our children's behavior from our own conceit, and then use peace of mind to stop their inappropriate behavior."
In this chapter, we will read how to say "no" to children, when to say it, and how to say it! How to distinguish between principled and non-principled issues ......
In this chapter, we will learn to "react locally to the child's behavior at the time." If her behavior needs to be recognized, then I want to give feedback in time. If her behavior needs to be corrected, I will warn her so that she can learn her lesson immediately. If her behavior doesn't require me to do anything, then I don't react at all......."
As the author puts it, "The Awakening of Parents is written for all readers who work with children, regardless of age. "This book promises to provide you with a universal principle that you can do for yourself, and believe it will transform you and your children."
There will be a thousand Hamlets in the eyes of a thousand readers, and the "awakening of parents" will also give different feelings and gains to those who like it!