1.Superficial calm.
For what you believe in, you keep trying, and even if you don't get anything, you stick to it like a fool. Although hard work may not be rewarded, the process of hard work solidifies the value of time, and there may be some accidental gains. On the surface, it looks calm, but inside it is like the sea, pregnant with a storm. Although it is ridiculous to be obsessed, it is something worth boasting about in a dull life, and you must know how many people give up because they can't succeed. In contrast, persistence without reason is a success. It is calm on the surface, but there is a storm on the inside.
2.Time is an empty vacation, it feels wasted, because it was never planned to do anything or what to accomplish, so time does not give meaning to life, it is I who waste it and then make life empty and meaningless. Although I am well aware that there is no special meaning in life, there is still a feeling of wasting time. I sometimes think that even if God had given me a lot of time, maybe I wouldn't have improved a little more. I try to accept everything I have now, good or bad. From that point of view, I'm glad that I wasted my time myself. I don't say this in any particular way.