"Complaining is the ** of the weak, and the strong use it to sharpen themselves. ”
Oscar wilde.
In real life, it is not difficult for us to find that there are always some male friends or colleagues around us, who seem to be used to constantly complaining in life, from work to small troubles in life, there seems to be nothing that cannot be complained. So, what kind of psychological world is hidden behind these men who like to complain?
Men, like women, have a deep desire for attention and recognition from others. However, due to the orientation of social roles, men are often asked to show a strong, independent side, and as a result, when they experience frustration or confusion, they may choose to seek a kind of indirect attention by complaining. Such behaviour can be seen as a way for them to try to connect emotionally with others, as well as gain understanding and support.
Sometimes, complaining can also be seen as an act of evading responsibility. In the face of problems, some people may be reluctant to take responsibility for solving problems, and instead choose to distract themselves by complaining as a way to comfort themselves. This behavior may temporarily relieve their anxiety and stress, but in the long run, it is not conducive to personal growth and problem solving.
Traditionally, men have been labeled as "strong", which has led to a lack of effective expression in the face of emotional problems. Complaining may have become a way for them to release their emotions and express their dissatisfaction. By complaining, they may be able to relieve their inner depression and pain to some extent.
People who like to complain often have difficulty realizing what is wrong with them. They may be stuck in a negative cycle, constantly complaining about the external environment or others, and neglecting their own role in it. This limitation of self-perception may lead to a lack of motivation for self-growth and improvement.
Society's expectations of men are often different from those of women. Men are expected to excel at work and take on more social responsibilities, and this pressure can make them feel more helpless and frustrated in the face of setbacks. And complaining may have become a way for them to cope with this pressure.
I once met a visitor, Mr. Lee. He is a middle-aged man with a successful career, but he always habitually complains about all kinds of unsatisfactory things in life. In my in-depth communication with him, I found that he was asked by his father to be strong and not to show emotions easily since he was a child. When he grew up, he achieved good results in his work, but he did not know how to express and deal with family trivialities and personal emotional problems. By complaining, he seems to be trying to find an emotional outlet while also hoping to be understood and supported by others.
Another example is a friend of mine, Mr. Zhang. He had some setbacks at work and felt a lot of pressure. In order to alleviate this pressure, he often complained with his friends about the difficulties at work, and even began to doubt his own abilities. However, at our suggestion, he began to try to find the cause within himself and actively seek solutions to the problem, rather than just complaining. After a period of hard work, his work gradually got back on track, and he became more confident and optimistic.
From the perspective of relationship psychology, there may be a variety of complex psychological factors hidden behind a man who likes to complain. To help them get out of this predicament, we can try the following suggestions:
1.Enhance self-awareness: Encourage them to reflect on their actions and words, recognizing that complaining does not solve the problem and only allows them to fall into negative emotions.
2.Look for positive ways to cope: When they encounter a problem, guide them to think in a positive light and find a solution to the problem, rather than just complaining.
3.Develop emotional expression skills: Help them learn how to express their emotions and needs, build healthy relationships, and gain understanding and support from others.
4.Seek professional help: If their complaining behavior has seriously affected their daily life and relationships, consider seeking help from a counselor to help them change this behavior pattern through professional guidance and intervention.
In conclusion, don't complain about how much life has given you because life doesn't know who you are at all. Everyone in life faces various challenges and difficulties, and the key is how we perceive and deal with them. Only when we learn to face life positively can we truly become strong in life.
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